[Lexicon78]

I have this problem. When I get near my boyfriend I start getting really anxious. I don't know if it's normal. Like if he wants to have sex I kinda panic about it. I've had sex before and never had this. Why now. If he hovers over me I panic, too. I keep having flashbacks of being raped when this happens. How can I tell him? Should I tell him? He promises me he's not gonna rape me, as he knows my past, but this doesn't ease my fears any.

[Ozze]

As a guy I can't post from a female perspective (well duh!!! ) but I have had problems in the past with people touching me. I used to hate it and still sort of do. What doesn't bother me is being touched by those who care about me. I have no idea how close a relationship you two share but if you are afraid or nervous when he touches you then maybe you should try working on trust issues. Even though, like he said, he won't rape you, in your mind you could be convinced that it is a possibility. Give it some time and talk to him about it and then maybe you'll begin to feel really secure when you're with him.
Hope that helped. Cheers,
Peter

[Raynaadi]

Lexicon-I joined this forum because I have very similar problems. I too was raped, and I've never had a problem with sex like I do now. And it makes no sense, because I've been in love with my boyfriend since I was a freshman in high school when we first dated. (I'm now almost 26) We've been back together for a year now, and at first there were no problems. Now--I hardly ever want sex. I don't really freak out if we're able to get things started, but I find it so hard to feel intimate with him. I have no issues when we hug or cuddle, but anything else, I just don't want it. A few times I've gotten upset by memories, but for the most part, it's just that the want isn't there. I don't know how to get passed it!

I don't know what your relationship is like, but is he supportive? Does he understand? Talking about it with him may help. I know when I feel like my boyfriend understands, it's easier for me to warm up to him. I haven't gotten counceling, therapists scare me. I don't really have any advice to give....but I wanted to let you know that someone out here has similar issues, and that I understand! When I found a woman on yahoo that understood, I felt so much better. Feel free to send a message anytime! I hope we figure out what to do!