[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I have some form of anxiety disorder. I have no clue which one but it's there plain as day. I've been on Valium on and off since I was 14 for my panick attacks and anxiety. It's gotten so bad at points I would count 30 panick attacks in one day!

Had a seizure back in August. The seizure started much like many of my other attacks during high stress phases. The same feeling I get when I dissasociate from my DID. Blackness, heavy feeling in my head, cloudiness, and I feel like I'm being pulled from the world and from my own body. Same exact feeling when I had the grand mal seizure (Never had before August of this year). Same exact feeling I had when I fainted and stopped breathing for nearly 3 minutes 4 years ago. I think they are from stress and anxiety.

So now I'm afraid of sleep. Every night nodding off when I get to that point of unconscious I am startled awake very fearful. Feeling as if I'm going to have a seizure. It makes me afraid to sleep every night.

I can no longer drive due to the seizure, they medically suspended my license. None the less I wouldn't drive. I'm terrified of driving and cars since a horrible accident last year that I was involved in. I was asleep during the time and woke up to a tow truck headed right at me going 60mph in my 2 door hatch back. I'm on pins and needles every time I get in the car.

Almost a year ago I was surrounded by 5 dogs out in the middle of no where trying to attack me. I had to walk 1/2 a mile through marsh and water to get away in the middle of February. Dogs terrify me now. I am too afraid to walk alone now.

Every detail about my daughter terrifies me. I don't like anyone watching her. She's 3 years old and still to this day I wake up all throughout the night checking on her to make sure her stomach still is moving. I'm terrified of SIDS and any accidents or misfortunes.

So many worries. So much fear. I'm afraid to get in the car, but when the car has stopped I'm afraid to get out the car. Even afraid to go into church and have a seizure and them think I am the devil so I stay away from church. I'm working on that one because God is most important to me.

No doc for another 18 days. Distractions are my best friend when it comes to my fears and anxiety phobia etc... Distract myself from the things that terrify me. But that no longer works. I'm afraid of the world! Each and every person in it! I'm afraid of them... I'm afraid for them... I'm afraid of me... I'm afraid for me... I'm screwed!

[Landance]

I know how you feel. I had the same problem. Couldn't drive because it would cause panic, couldn't leave the house because of panic. Just about anything would set me off. Just hang in there. It's a fight, but it is one that can be won with a lot of effort.

[SophiaFlying]

How did you fix it?

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Took my last valium today. Panic attacks all morning. Gotta keep fighting it but uuuugh... Only like 12 more days... I'm afraid... But no one outside the pc world knows... I'm so afraid... Of so much... But I cover it. I try to blow it off, act like it's not phasing me but I'm terrified. Just this morning I was so worried someone had broken into the house the few minutes I went to the car. I did my hair and makeup in the doorway so I could see from every direction. I guess that would be paranoia though. But it's all so entertwined. My bipolar with my anxiety with my did with so much more. Lots of fear in this world. Who wouldn't be afraid? You can't turn on the news without something terrifying coming on. Without some confirmation that the entire world has gone mad. 200 years ago they did have crime. But the crime we hear of today was only in the darkest fiction novels of those days. But we live them. Some more than others we live them. How can we not be terrified of everything? I thought I was going to jump out of my skin around every turn in the drive to the city last night for my anniversary. It was only a 45 minute drive but I felt my heart skip many beats, my palms clammy, I was sweating, fidgiting... Fighting the feelings off. I think I need some meds again. This isn't something I can fight alone...

[butthurt]

Just hoping to find out the latest.

It is very similar to what I am going through, except my fear is a heart attack because I dont exercise and eat very unhealthily. Even though my family has no history of heart issues.

I have attacks all day everyday. I figured they are anxiety attacks, because the couple actual panic attacks I have had now have had me almost calling 911. The rest don't reach that actual panic feeling where I need to escape or freak out.

I have always had a fear of un expected phone calls, I always assume it's bad new. I check to make sure the younger kids are breathing. If I hear of an accident, I call to be sure family is fine. If I have a negetive, fleeting thought about my family I instantly worry it might come true, etc.

I see a therapist on the 29th and look forward to any meds that might help. I am on buspirone 7.5mg 2x daily and xanax as needed. The xanax does help some during an attack but I still have none stop anxiety. I guess the buspirone my general doc gave me isn't really for panic/anxiety.