[looking4sunshine]

Okay this is really hard to go into but I need some direction...I have recently not been feeling so well I have been having a rapid heart beat, a feeling of passing out/fainting, extreme exhaustion, not wanting to leave my house for fear of harm coming to me and my children, an obsession with my biggest fear death, migraines, short temper, lack of interest in life and the things I used to, disorientation, shakiness, easily startled, and not being able to sleep. Now this all has been on and off for years but recently it has gotten really bad. I think it has something to do with the fact we recently moved to a new state under serious misleading information, I was pregnant and we had our 3rd son via emergency c-section 2 months early and he has had major problems and been in and out of the hospital. My three year old disobeys a lot and doesn't talk very much and my 18 month old bangs his head in frustration. My hubby works 80+ hours a week and we are still having my family pay the cable/internet/phone bill and other things as well. I have been denied for health care through the state because he "makes too much"...I am under extreme stress and physically just feel I can't take anymore...I am only 24 and this seems a bit too much for me to handle, I want to love my children unconditionally but it seems they can't be good long enough for me to enjoy them...my hubby and I fornicate once every 2 weeks or so which limits our closeness...and I really just am tired of having my life be such an up-hill battle for happiness...I don't know if maybe I should seek treatment and if so what kind of diagnosis are my family and I looking at? I went for a start of treatment before but now my financial situation has gotten harder with 3 kids and limited help so even on a sliding scale I am unable to pay...please please any advice would help...if there is something I can do at home I would do it but I don't really see a light at the end of the tunnel

[Junerain]

Perhaps there is a free clinic? Perhaps it is just situational depression, meaning the situation is so bad that that's what's fueling the depression, or there could be a chemical imbalance but a doctor would be able to tell...at worst you could just march yourself to the emergency room psychiatric section of the hospital and they cannot refuse you......

[Angel_of_the_Past]

I agree even if you talk to your OB/Gyn often they can help.

[thelostone]

i agree too, you need to find help now before it gets any worse. sounds like you already had anxiety issues and now with the added stress and probably post partum depression on top of it you need to do something, even if it is ER.

lost

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Hugs and prayers for healing-Angel

[SerenitysWave]

ER, free clinic, local church, your primary care doctor, or try a hotline they often can direct you to free help....

also try to find out if there any support groups or other young moms and organize get togethers and maybe form some strong connections and then maybe take turns helping each other out to get some me time....

Good luck ((((sending prayers and positive thoughts)))))