[hopestheory]

currently i'm 6 months pregnant and thought that the random thoughts and fears i was spending all day obssessing over was a normal part of my pregnancy so i told my doctor that i thought i might be suffering from depression and maybe some anxiety so he put me on zoloft. HOWEVER, this didnt just start after i got pregnant so i know its not hormonal but at the same time i knew it wasnt normal. random scary thougths about hurting other people or myself b/c of something i did or didn;t do started to pop into my head and i would obssess and worry about them all day and have trouble sleeping. berfore i got pregnant i was worried that i had some how aquired AIDS eventhough i was still a virgin so i would wash my hands at work all the time after touching certain people or changing the trash outside not the inside trash though just the outside trash. it then got worse it went from just being annoying to consuming me.. i obssess over the thought that i might sleepwalk and have sex with other people that live with us and because i think this could happen i have aids and i might have given it to other people even tho i've never done this or even oever sleptwalked and nobody in our house even has aids. its just the possibility that it could happen. so everynight when i got to bed i check and make sure the door is locked but I have touch a certain amount of times just to make sure its locked nobody else can lock it b/c i think it won't be locked if i don't do it. i also arrange things on the floor over and over and over again until their just right in the room so that if i do sleepwalk i'll trip over something and wake myself up and then when i get up in the morning i check all the objects on the floor a certain amount of times to make sure they haven't been moved. even after i do all of that it still doesn't help and i still obssess over what i might have done wrong or what i might have forgotten to do. in my mind i know that i've never sleptwalked and that none of this probably ever happened or will ever happened but i feel like if i don't arrange things or obssess over the thoughts it will happen or something else will happen and it will be bad. i'm constantly checking myself for signs of illnes or signs of anything abnormal. i also obssess over things that i might do or have done during the day that i might not remember so i journeled over and over or i would go through it in my mind over and over and i was afraid that if i didn't go over it time and time again something bad would happen. i hate it so much but i just can't control and i haven't been on meds long enought yet to tell a difference. does this sound like ocd all the quizzes and stuff i've taken say that it sounds like thats what i have i neeed some relief i'm driving myself crazy.

[hopestheory]

also another quick add.
i can't hear or see the words hi five or anything that has to do with certain diseases b/c it puts my mind into a obsession so i purposefully avoid certain things that remind of what it is that i'm obssesing over again i don't know for sure it thats part of ocd its just something i do.

[Malady156]

hopestheory - I'm not a professional but this definitely sounds like OCD behavior to me. My mate is OCD and while every individual is different, the checking and rechecking of things, the ritualized behavior and the intrusive thought patterns and feeling like "something bad will happen" unless you do your "rituals" or pay attention to the intrusive thoughts -- these are ALL classic red flags of OCD.

OCD is *highly* treatable -- that's the good news! Prozac helped my mate immensely -- when his OCD first came on in his life, it was so bad he couldn't function at all and it was "driving him nuts" as you say, and once he got stabilized on meds he got it under control so that he was in control, not the obsessions & intrusive thoughts. PLEASE don't be embarrassed to go see a psychiatrist and get the relief you need. It's not your fault you cannot control these thoughts; it's a problem with your serotonin levels.

[ktp]

Hopestheory:

I also agree with Mal. Definitely discuss with your doctor your feelings. I used to be the same way. I am currently taking 20 mg. Prozac every day and my OCD is actually alot better -- some of it was ritualistic and some of it was intrusive thoughts. I still get those but they have diminished quite a bit. There is hope in this situation and it is very highly treatable!

Best of luck,
Kimberly.

[(JD)]

I'm not ocd but you sure sound like you are suffering with it! I'm glad your doctor has you on medicine... you might be restricted to what all you can take until you have your baby. And hormones MIGHT have made it more pronounced, though you are sure it was "there" prior to your pregnancy.

welcome to the best support website online!

[cms39]

All the things you are going through sound VERY familiar to me - I'm diagnosed OCD. I was the same way you are now when I was 25. When these things begin to interfere with your life and they're SO extreme, it's a disorder. That anxiety sure is terrible, isn't it? I hope the Zoloft starts working for you soon. Hoping you feel better soon.