They use my mental illness to punish me

I'm 17 and suffer from OCD for almost 3 years. Every time when my parents get annoyed at me, they threaten me with things that my OCD makes me anxious about. For example, I have an obsession that a certain part of the wall in my apartment is extremely dirty. When my parents get angry with me, they throw everything to that wall and laugh at me with triumph. They use my fear as a way of punishing me for annoying them with my symptoms or for other resentments. Sometimes I try not to let them see some of my symptoms because it can only give them another GREAT way to punish me.

My family hates me for my mental illness. They blame all family troubles on me and keep telling me how much easier they would live if it weren't for my OCD. They always compare me with the other “normal” teens and say “who the hell is as insane as you?!” they misconceive that I do every crazy thing on purpose and consider that my aim is “to destroy the family”. I try to explain and talk to them so many times yet it never works. They don't believe in mental illnesses and said that i use "obsessive-compulsive Disorder" as an excuse.

Yes... I can see that your family not believeing in OCD must make it very difficult for you. Could you have anyone explain it to them, such as a doctor, who they might believe? Would they accept it if you printed information on OCD from some respected mental health sites from the internet?

I'm sorry you're faced with such disbelief from your family. It can only make what you're going through harder...

Sorry to hear this. I think most of the members here lived through that same garbage. At least here you have ppl who will tell you differently; back in their childhoods, there was no internet and no one to go to for help, in fact, most of them thought that was the way life was and children were supposed to be treated. Hang in there. You'll soon find out that what your family thinks is not the whole world.

I'm SO sorry your family isn't at all understanding of OCD. You know, it does run in families, so there probably are other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) who may have had this disorder.

It is doubly difficult to have this disorder AND have a dysfunctional family. That's a big burden to have to bear. You're in my thoughts.

omg i feel so sorry for that. its so hard as it is and then to not have stable support and a loving helpful group around you probably makes it even harder. please keep posting here if it makes you feel better b/c we will support you a lot. and if you ever need to talk i'm here to listen you can either pm me or email whatever you want to do. i hope things get better for you good luck and take care
-nicole!

Hang in there. And I thought I had family problems? I'm also 17 and my parents don't understand either. My dad doesn't want me on medication but my mom does. It creates major complications in the house along with other problems my parents have caused me. You might cinsider seeimg a therapist and have a meeting with them and your parents. Maybe the T can get it through there heads that this isn't your fault and you don't have a choice when it comes to these emotions. I hope this advice helps.

I am so sorry your being treated like that by your family. Please know that you can always turn to us for support. Are you seeing a therapist? A school cousellor? If not, you should. If you are, please tell them how your parents are treating you. I hope things get better for you. My thoughts are with you.

What your parents are doing is called abuse. I am so sorry. It must be torture. You will be an adult soon.

I too am sorry for your family and their abusive behaviors. I hope you can get support somewhere at school or a T. Do keep talking here because people are right there is a whole world of people out here who do understand.

Please, take care.

Kim

Hi LLG,

I know about this stuff, and my bet is that they are frightened of the illness, probably more frightened than you are. Maybe there's a history in the family that they are covering up.

I agree with other posters here that you need someone outside your family to give support and validation for the courageous and hard life that you are living at the moment. It's not easy being a teenager anyway without this as well!

If it's any comfort I went through something like this when I was around your age and I got through it. These days there is more support for us and much more understanding.

Please keep posting and let us know when you find a good counsellor or therapist. Maybe I would start by telling my regular doctor what's going on and ask for some help.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen

I have OCD and I had problems with my family too, well just my dad. It wasn't about medication, but he hated that I went to therapy. He was afraid I would complain it was his fault I had problems. (OCD and Tourettes were in HIS family, undiagnosed back then). When parents are fearful, they may feel they have to stay in control.

I bet there is a family history of this illness - because it does run in families. They may not tell you this until years later. "Oh yes my grandmother did these strange little things too" - was afraid of germs or disease, couldn't drive because of anxiety, etc, etc.

I'm am SO sorry they are ridiculing you though. You have enough anxiety as it is.

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I bet there is a family history of this illness - because it does run in families. They may not tell you this until years later. "Oh yes my grandmother did these strange little things too" - was afraid of germs or disease, couldn't drive because of anxiety, etc, etc.


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CMS, You are so right about this point. I have heard therapists call it 'The elephant in the room' - a blatantly obvious situation in the family which is never mentioned, absolutely taboo, because they can't stand the shame.

I remember facing down my mother once, asking her, "Is there a history of mental illness in this family?" She mumbled something about an Aunt in the past, and then changed the subject quickly.

After my Dad died, I found a huge store of tranquilisers in his desk, heavy duty diazepams etc, enough to settle down an elephant. I also discovered that the doctor woudn't give him more than 2 tablets per visit, due to his addiction. Also, I found that he was a regular on the OCD helpline. I learned stuff from the nurses and doctor, but nothing from our family, not one word from them.

Denial is such a painful strategy. My Dad and I could have helped each other maybe. So much could have been explained. My young life could have been immeasurably improved. Because they couldn't face up to my having the illness, they blamed me for it, making it an issue of personality rather than illness.

It is such a shame when a young person has to be scapegoated in this way. Shameful.

I do hope that LLG can find a way through this situation.

With empathy, Myzen

OI! I'd say that is horrible, and it definately must add to your problems. It's almost so you could wonder if your parents is cauding your OCD to stay with their behaviour, or that they caused it in the first place. 17, and parents like that? I'm so sorry it's like that for you (and probably a lot of other people with mental illness too),I hope you can get your own place at som epoint, so you don't have to be mocked in your own home.

i am sorry to read that. it sucks when someone does not seem to understand. really when it comes down to it, we are all just humans. parents or not, they have faults. just try not to take it personal.
a friend of mine told me to just let things roll off you, as if they are water beads and your exterior is waxed.

I know how you feel my freind. My father and brother are both convinced that my OCD/Depression/Anxiety is caused by demons, devils and because I'm "running away from God". We have had countless discussions and arguments over this and yet they still refuse to see that it is a REAL problem. It's frustrating and so I don't even bring it up around them anymore. Sometimes your own family can be the cruelist.

- Regards

Thanks for all of your replies. It was much appreciated.

Well, I live in a poor country where psychology is extremely undeveloped. in my country there's absolutely no mental therapy, no mental medicine, no self-help book at all. if i didn't visit any American psychological web site i would still have no idea that i have OCD. I want to find an American therapist online yet my parents totally forbid it. they even forbid me to come to any online-forum including this web site. that's why i haven't been here for a long time. When i said that i want to buy some OCD books from an American online-bookstore my parents slapped me and snarled "see how much the international shipping fee is!" (in my country, it's illegal for high school students to have any job which means i can't have any income of my own). So, my OCD is still stay untreated by now because there’s absolutely no accessible treatment for me.

I do not think that there’s a hidden family history or anything. My parents’ misunderstanding mainly due to the lack of mental health awareness in my country. And I clearly know why I have OCD. Some experiences in my life triggered this. I’m sure it’s not inherited.

You may say that I soon will be an adult. However, in my country, there’s nothing like “when you are 18, you are free”. Parents have every legal right to control over their children even if they are 81. in my country’s culture, parents have very dominative position and children are not better than slaves.

well, come on over to America when youre 18 then! you could apply for a student visa, and attend college here. people do it all the time.
just out of curiosity? what country do you live in?

Just remember curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back hehehe

I have similar. The people I work with are quite ignorant if I must say,and they know I am sensitive and also have anxiety issues. Tests I have taken tell me I am intelligent,perceptive and know things most people don't know. At work they just call me paranoid. Every time something goes wrong,they say to me 'hey it must be a conspiracy' and things like that. Or they try to get me riled up so they can just tell me to calm down and make me look like a hyper friek. The one girl even said that my A.D.D. is no excuse. Jerks.
What I am doing to remedy this,since I am intelligent,is turn it back on them and use their fears. It doesn't sit to well with them but hey,they shouldn't dish it out if they can't take it. Something I learned as a youngster.

Your parents are so cruel

You do NOT deserve this treatment, I hope that you know this.

*hugs* only if wanted

Thanks for all of your replies and advice. And Angela, thank you for the hug. *hugs back tightly*

I've been through a similar kind of thing, in a way. As soon as it was clear that I was not a "typically developing" child, their whole tone changed to me. I was about 4 or 5 at the time and when it became clear that there was something not quite right with me, my mother was angry and in denial. I never saw any kind of mental health services, ever. No one took me and I was advised not to go. As years went on, I began to progressively "lose it" over time. I used to be basically functional, as a kid. Now, not so much. I have much more difficulty functioning in the world and I also have developed some paranoid and delusional thinking along with my other problems. It is difficult for them to deny it now and they have become more accepting because it is clear that I have become very, very sick