[stew099]

what's up guys? i'm 23 and had some hard times. nothing compared to most, but hard for me. my gf of two years i found out was cheating on me for the past four months. she was very appologetic and gave me all the reasons why she did it and how it was the worst mistake of her life, etc, etc, etc. she wants to be with me but i simply can't get past what has happened. i know it probably won't happen again in the future but i can't be with a girl that would do that.

so that's enough background info i think. i'm also working part time and going to school 16 credit hours. i just dumped my gf today.

about 3 weeks ago, i felt like i was going to die. i was questioning everything around me. i was thinking about matter, our spot in the universe, how we can interpret language, what if my brain forgets how to tell me to breath? we're not here for a long time, what is our existence worth?

i was asking a lot of unanswerable questions like that. i'm the type of guy that likes to have answers for everything. i've been that way all my life.

after a few moments, i realized my heart was beating at a rate i've never felt before in my life. my hands and feet broke out into a cold/wet sweat. nothing seemed real. i had a HUGE fear that i was going to die and i was almost 100% certain i was going to die. it felt like my body was just going to give up.

that was the scariest day of my life. ever since then, i've been trying to fight them off. i've had about 3 more in the past 3 weeks since this has started. but i fight them off nearly every day. also, i still don't feel like i'm in touch with reality. it's just a weird feeling. any advice?

oh yea, i do have a doctors appointment for this thursday. i hope it goes well. i just hope i'm not insane.

[SS8282]

Welcome, stew. What you described definately sounds like panic attacks. You've had a lot happened lately and stress sometimes makes it easier to have these attacks. Seeing a doctor is the step in the right direction. Is this a family doctor or a specialist?

You've spoke of asking unanswerable questions, and the need to have answers for everything sounds like you've got anxiety too.

I hope your appointment will go well. Please let me know how it went. Good luck.

[stew099]

thanks for the reply! i'm going to a specialist at a local hospital. i haven't been to the doctor in about 7 years so i'm getting a full physical too. i hope they don't diagnose me with something nasty!

[SubvertNormality]

I've had panic attacks in the past before. Theyre so scary!! The walls around you become restrictive, and your lungs feel empty of air. Its a crazy feeling, thinking that youre out of control and theres nothing you can do. I've found some things do help tho, maybe you could try them out:
Talking to a good friend who relaxes you,
Taking some big, calm deep breaths,
Imagining you are in your favourite spot,
Begin doing something which occupies your mind,

this one has been the best of help:
Scream and yell as loud as you can and get all your feelings, whatever they may be, out!

Good Luck
xx

[jmo531]

Hi Stew. Welcome to the forum. What you describe is all to familier. I too have panic disorder, depression and OCD. I currently take medication to help me but it is not 100%. My suggestion to you is to research panic disorder, get the facts and understand how it works and why. This will give you a better understanding of what your body and mind go through when having a panic attack. I went to my pdoc yesterday and we talked at length about upping my meds once again. Needless to say I was up half the night worrying about that and I hate the constant worry that plagues me. You are definitly not alone. I am 31 and have been dealing with this since I was 19. Please know that there will be long periods of time where things go very well and periods of time when they don't go well but remember to hold on to the good times because the bad times don't last for long. We are here for you when you need us. Thanks for your post and take care. My thoughts are with you. By the way, I think it was a good idea not to take your girlfriend back after what she did. If there is one thing I have learned in life that trust and loyalty are most important.

Good Luck,

Jen