my wits end

i'll give you the quick and dirty.
ever since i can remember i've had tingling in my hands and forearms when doing anything exciting like concerts, performing musically, meeting a girl, things of that nature. in addition since Nov of 04 i know have thse momesnts... once i was just sitting and i got weird... like far away from myself i had to look at things tice to assure myself i was in reality... (i have no better words for this) i though my god i;m dying.. and i felt a rush of what felt like air , that wasnt there go down my chest and i felt like almost passed out and i took a shwer and felt better. i thought i was lightheaded but i cant accurately diffrentiate between lightheadedness and derealization or depersonalization, its one of the two or both. in these mments i have trouble connectng thoughts, my girlfriend says i seem weird during it. since then i've had these regularly. and showers seem to help almost everytime. blood test (recently) showed me down on potassium but the supplements dont seem to be stopping it. i'm not so afraid of dying as the pain of dying. this time alst year i ahd two wisdoms out freaked out about the first, but then felt okay for the second once i knew it wouldnt hurt. when i gave that (recent) blood i freaked out so bad my hands went numb and i nearly fainted... i worry constantly about the dumbest things, i'm severly hypochondriac lways have been i think i got told this wouldnt hurt when it did too many times when i was younger. i thought for sure i had something... some disease.... heart problems something.... i'm more afraid ofthe surgery honestly then the diseases. i would sooner die than go under, what if i feel it. i have these speels at work, home, in the car, at completely random times. i used to smoke pot with friends nothing serious just fun no probs. now i getthis almost every time. i 'll be driving and notice my shoulders are clenched to my neck and i'll relax.. five minutes later i notice i'm right back... thats been since high school. i dont feel normal... i've always been luckily in good health.. i have reflux but only with drinks, hot food never bothered me now i cant eat anything i get stomach aches and they arent like the reflux aches this is solid indigestion constantly from everythign. if i get a random pain i wonder at length what it is. i worry peple in social situations (situations that matter to me) what people think of me, are the laughing at me, i cant make eye contact especially with girls they literally scare me. friends always made intros then i was okay. right now i feel shaky just talking about this. what is happening to me? people say i look healthier than ever nd my doctor says he can do more tests but the cebc, metabolic and something else all look fine with the potassium exception i was 3.2 liters of potass i weigh 190 and i'm 6'3". please someone i know you cant diagnos but at least try. in between i feel great, i laugh and joke... i seem and feel normal. but i cant take this, its driving me up the wall i've been more frustrated and irritable. HELP!

alot of this sounds like extreme anxiety. anxiety can manifest in MANY ways. also, it sounds like you experience some depersonalization with the extreme anxiety...which can bring upon panic.

i'm by no means a dr. i'm just speaking from personal experience and what i've been told.

have you thought about seeing a therapist? a dr can only go so far with this and treat with meds. a therapist can help you to pinpoint the reasons that trigger these and to develop coping mechanisms that can make your life much more at ease.

dealing with constant anxiety is so hard. since you've had complete physical checks, i would bet good money that this is what you're experiencing and seeing a good therapist for 6 mos or so could help your life tremendously.

gl and let us know what you decide?

you know i think i knew the answer even before i was done writing....
i just didnt want to admit it.. i mean i was disapointed whenthere wasnt something physically wrong with me. it's funy you knw, i just thought i had it together for so long and i dont want to admit failiure, which is obscene because i know a person can only take so much and i've been purposely taking on so much for so long... i really thught i was emotionally invincible, even while i was having some of these problems like the concerts. we'd be driving and my hands would tingle i was so excited. i'd tell myself i just feel things more, anything not to admit a possible problem. anytime anyone else would drive i would worry they were gonna kill me, i'd think i dont trudt other peole, what wrong with that, they're other poeple. but thats not normal...
i'm gonna call a therapist on monday start some weekly sessions. you know last night after writing that i realized about the time this started in Nov, i was thinking about my birthday in Feb. 1
one more step to being old, dying, not being useful anymore i think this my mid-life i really do it's been pre-occupying my thoughts over those months, i mean i'm sure all the other stress contributed, but it was the straw that broe the back you know?
man... i hate this... why couldnt i ust buy a hot rod and date some young girls like every other guy.... it's just not me... it makes me angry.
thanks... you know.... i just need someone to hear, to care.

Hi desantos, (cool name by the way)

It's a familiar story I'm afraid, and it sounds like an anxiety disorder. The good news is that we can survive it and have a life as well. Meds and therapy work for many people; some people just face it out.

I think that everyone feels some level of anxiety; we get this big overdose, and we have to work with that.

Hope it gets easier for you.

Myzen