Adult ADD/ADHD

Dear Friends,

I’m new here and don’t really know where to start, but I know I MUST start somewhere.

It appears I have ADD or ADHD. I’ve been somewhat successful throughout life, but my chronic disorganization, short attention span and, for lack of a better term, “misdirection of thoughts” has cost me my marriage, is damaging my work and is stunting my overall growth. I’m far from an idiot, but my actions, inactions and the results thereof often equate to less than I and others would expect.

And this is not something that started yesterday. It’s pervaded my work, my education, my relations and many other aspects of my life for almost as long as I can remember. The success I have had in life is purely in spite of this or some disorder. I sincerely give my best efforts to be the best, most organized and trustworthy person I can be, but my best laid plans just seem to get lost in the “chatter” of everyday life. When I break a promise, either in business or in personal relationships, it’s never because I intended to, but simply because it “escaped me.” Those unintended broken promises are probably the greatest side-effect of whatever ails me because people that matter to me can never trust me to follow through. Then consequently, I’m left feeling guilty, angry at myself and defeated, and the long term compilation of these feelings is starting to catch up with me…

Anyway, I’m hoping some of you have some ideas for me. I mentioned it to my doctor but he dismissed it as just having a busy a life.

Thanks in advance,

Hunter-
You are not alone. You spoke your story and it was mine as well. I have lost my career, I have had no "real" adult relationships, (I am 34 and NOT ugly) My home is a disaster. For the longest time I didn't know why I was such and outcast. I would go to social events and say stupid things etc...I was diagnosed at 28. I am now on medications and I can function better. But, like I told my doctor I cannot organize my life yet and he said that we adapt to our malfunctioning brain and we have to learn all over again new ways of handling/doing things. Get some ADHD/ADD help and best wishes! From one ADDer to another!
Adrienne

Hunter and Adrienne:
I feel your pain. I was first diagnosed with ADHD nearly 30 years ago, just after I got kicked out of engineering school for "lack of progress". It did not seem to matter that I operated the transmitter at the campus TV station or helped to build a prototype of a radical new computer design,
I eventually found my niche, if I have one, working as a writer. I can be interested in everything and then throw it away as quick as the next assignment comes in.
Over the years I've met some fascinating people, and although I've no degree of my own, I've always worked with people who have their master's and doctorates.
There are many books available about how to make a go of it as an ADHD suffer. if I had to summarize their advice, it would be to pick a career where change and pressure are the norm. And lighten up on yourself. ADHD can be a gift. It certainly makes you unique.
Hunter, the most valuable thing I can see you doing is getting an inexpensive daybook -- -- something from Wal-Mart. Keep a running To Do list. Plot activities for each day, and then replot them for the days following when something catches your mind and distracts you. You may sometimes feel crushed under the weight of that list, but remember that you are the one who wrote it. All of your bright ideas and promises are there. You will at least have a chance to act on them before you forget them. And yes, you must constantly guard against misplacing the darn book.
I find that family and friends do not very much understand the challenges I face with ADHD. When something falls through a hole in my mind and is gone, they somehow think it means I do not care. If anyone knows a way to explain this, I'd like to hear it. Best of luck,
TartanCat

I just found this site and I want to learn all I can about this condition since I now know I'm ADHD, not just surmising it....(hmmm, that sounds like me!). I have never taken Rx meds for ADHD; however, for 3 yrs now I've been on sertraline (Zoloft) for anxiety and that helps.

My girlfriend asked me how it feels to know you are ADHD and my first response was "it's a label". After I thought about it for awhile, I felt some sadness about learning about this so late (after 36 yrs of FT work). I just think my professional life could have been more satisfying overall. I did have a good run (I loved taking assessment tests and learning about my tendencies), but maybe meds would have made fitting in a bit less painful at times. Just so you know, it is possible to function successfully in a professional career but you need to recognize areas for improvement and be determined to work on those areas (i.e. becoming a better listener, being aware of how one "comes across" to others during team discussions; impulsive behaviors that sabotage organization and prioritization etc.) or your career will be continually upended.
TartanCat gave good advice re. a planner. You really need to make a task list and TRY to prioritize it daily...in a job. At home, you'll get by, but not in a job! For me, the child is alive and well as I near my 60's.

I just found this site and I want to learn all I can about this condition since I now know I'm ADHD, not just surmising it....(hmmm, that sounds like me!). I have never taken Rx meds for ADHD; however, for 3 yrs now I've been on sertraline (Zoloft) for anxiety and that helps.

My girlfriend asked me how it feels to know you are ADHD and my first response was "it's a label". After I thought about it for awhile, I felt some sadness about learning about this so late (after 36 yrs of FT work). I just think my professional life could have been more satisfying overall. I did have a good run (I loved taking assessment tests and learning about my tendencies), but maybe meds would have made fitting in a bit less painful at times. Just so you know, it is possible to function successfully in a professional career but you need to recognize areas for improvement and be determined to work on those areas (i.e. becoming a better listener, being aware of how one "comes across" to others during team discussions; impulsive behaviors that sabotage organization and prioritization etc.) or your career will be continually upended.
TartanCat gave good advice re. a planner. You really need to make a task list and TRY to prioritize it daily...in a job. At home, you'll get by, but not in a job! For me, the child is alive and well as I near my 60's.

I have an appointment, finally, at the end of August for this very issue, with my doc.
It's something I've thought I've had for years.
But, I"ve finally reached the point where I recognize I cannot continue without a helping hand. It's getting too much for me to keep up with. I was unable to do the research and preparation necessary to get a promotion so I could be assured to stay at the school I love this upcoming year as a direct result of my inablility to stay attuned, focused and on task. It was too overwhelming on top of my other responsiblities. I had to admit, ENOUGH!
(Isn't that just the perfect smilie for this discussion? LOL!)

Anyway, I am hoping I can get in sooner. If there's an opening, I'm asking that they call me in for an earlier appointment. I was hoping that I could get stablized before school started again. Since my appointment is not till the end of August, and we start school at the end of August, it's horrible timeing. I hate to be trying out meds while working with my students.

The *good* news is, I'm already working with a therapist on behaviors that can help. Meds are only part of the solution. As we tell the kids who have ADHD, it's up to them, (us), to learn behaviors that will help us deal with our disabilities too.

And we *will* survive. We just have to work a bit harder sometimes.
But, we already have, haven't we.

I hope we can continue this conversation, and share our experiences so that we can grow from each other. I'm glad I saw this thread.

Peace!

Hi Hunter,

I have to say ditto down the entire thread . there are days I just sit and sob after spending 45 minutes loking for my keys while I watch the clock tick by the time for my apointments.

I have been trying to work on this for six months now. something always comes in during therapy to get me side tracked . Its been this way for years.

I am not on meds and It not getting better even when I try to work on behavior mod.

It takes a combination.
I have a very touching story to tell.

it happened to me around 2:30 or 3:00 today . I was on my way to work .
yes that late gettig started . and I realized I forgot to fill my tank.
I was on my way to sams club watching how the prices had jumped overnight from $2.26 to $2,39 .

sams club was $2.25 yesterday evening when I was there.

To fill up..

Only It slipped my mind . like everthing does.

So I got to sams and pulled in and saw the prices were . the same .

The fill up truck did not arive yet

well . guess who didn't have her wallet.

Yep..
AND guess where the needle was.

Of course E ...

So I just said out load . what am I going to do Im on empty and I don;t have my wallet .

A man was on the other side of the pump and he said.

Maybe I can help . he brought his sams card over . And I said Oh thank you I just need 1 gallon.
So I pumpped in .9 and he slipped his hand Over my hand and forced the nozzel back in .
and there we were . I was fighting him .. He out powered me.

MEN!!!!!!

and I exclaimed I get 26 miles to the gallon . I only need One and he kept on pumping much to my protestations.

He filled my tank.

I gave him the biggest hug and got his licence number as I left .

If I can get his Name Im going to write his wife and tell her what a wonderfu kind man she Has .

I cried all the way home.

its not our fault and we are not slobs , bad people or irresonsible .

just good sensitive hearts with a mind on the run and never empty.

Patricia

Patricia- That is an awesome story. Glad to know that there are still some good hearted "strangers" left in the world!! Very touching and reassuring! Thank you for sharing!

Krystal