Diag. w/ ADD late in life, and now feel lost professionally

Wow....where to begin. I am simply hoping to share similar experiences with other professionals who have found themselves with ADD. People who have spent decades as a management professional, but strangely with a employment lifespan of 2-3 years. Mutual separations with no reason given..... never really understanding why you failed and blamed everyone else....
Then one day, when your older and you're closing in on another 'mutual separation' you finally go and take 'the test'. AFter scoring off the chart, you go the human pharmacy who has you on adderall, ativan and freaking Bipolar meds???? who knew.

The meds make me feel better and help me see the complete jerk I have been to people. What they don't do, is give me back my power. I don't feel capable, pills or no pills to perform any type of management role. I feel so lost in myself......time is running out and I need to find where I fit or how to fix this.

Anyone relate?

Why bipolar meds? I'm a working professional with add. What are you on?

Yeah, I get you. I was an electronics teacher when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. I loaded up on the meds in the beginning but now I only take three, and I don't take anything for the ADHD.

I've had about 5 of those 'mutual separations' in my working lifetime. I'm 52 now and I'm not currently working but am definitely ready to get back on the horse, except this time I'm going back to my first love, electronics technician - specialize in biomedical machines but can do other stuff, too. I've also decided this time I'm going to have something to fall back on, so I am in the process of figuring out the bureaucratic knots that need untying to become an NRA instructor teaching other women self-defense.

Looking back, not all of my job losses were my fault or because I had ADHD. I was an excellent technician in my twenties and a great teacher in my 40's - I spent most of my 30's raising my kids and really enjoyed that, too. I won awards when I was a technician and teacher so obviously I was doing some things right. I think because both of those jobs were things that I absolutely loved doing and there were not a lot of politics I had to deal with.

In each case where I lost a job, it always seemed to me in hindsight that I was too oblivious to what was going on around me. People would get mad at me for reasons I didn't understand and frankly, didn't care. I saw it as their problem, not mine. All I cared about was doing the job right and I have very high and strict standards about doing my job, so again, hindsight, some people found me to be threatening even though any trouble they may have gotten into didn't have anything to do with me that I could tell.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin to it! I hope it helps.

WW

My issues almost always centered around other people's opinion of me, and just like Werewoman.....I didn't understand or care what they thought or were having issues with. I'm starting to look at leveraging all my strengths to move into a career that is more dependent on my execution, rather than what people think about me. Contracting and project management seem to be what comes to mind.

Tangerine, doc put me on Lamictal for BP. I think they do that as standard practice since they don't seem to be able to distinguish the diff between ADD and BP. All I know is that I could swallow half a bottle of Lamictal and I still wouldn't know what it does. The Ativan and Adderall however are quite noticable.

I think that's an excellent idea! Keep us posted on your progress.

WW

dADDio, what "test" are you talking about? Was this an online test or through a therapist? I'm just curious because it has been suggested to me that I have ADD. I read one article that seemed to describe me to a t.

At any rate, I'm 49 and just now discovering this about myself, though it explains so much about me and my life. Feeling very sad that so much life has passed me by, that had I figured this out sooner maybe my life could have been more satisfying up to now.

Hi Want to Grow. We are going through this at the same time it seems. I'm 48 for another couple months. So, the first thing I did was suck it up, and made an appointment. There are 2 docs you deal with. The first I think is a phsyco therapist. That person is the one that tests you. you fill out some questionarres, and send a packet to you parents if they are still kickin'. ( don't send it to your younger brother who you beat repeatedly as a child )

Then he set you down in front of a computer and you do this sort of visual timing test by hitting the space bar when a pattern of letters/numbers is displayed.
I came out 85% for ADD and my self questionarre was textbook. So, he sends me to the Phsychiatrist who is basically a pharmacist.
The doc said the exact thing to me that you said. If i figured this out earlier, I may have been much more successful.
The problem I am experiencing now, is that the meds DO make me feel better. But......I don't have my personal confidence or 'power' back that will allow me to take on responsible roles and feel successful again. Rather the meds have allowed me to see what I jerk I have been all these years........ So, now I feel lost. Can't go back, and don't know how to move forward. Got bills to pay so I can't simply settle for admitting to myself that I can't lead people anymore.
I need to find a way to get my strength back. Maybe support sessions or something....it certainly aint the meds.

Hey, dADDio, the fact that you feel that you had been a jerk in the past suggests to me that you have empathy and remorse for your past actions, both very good things. I think you could move forward as a leader/manager with compassion, and be a leader that people would be happy to follow. Your confidence is shaken a bit, it sounds. A sense of power isn't needed to manage, is it? What is needed is the ability to oversee the work of others, talent for delegating and monitoring your subordintes' work to keep things on course, and most important to me, to inspire others to be the best they can be in their job. Believe me, employees hate power-crazed, nasty managers, but they are happy to perform for ones who recognize a job well done, check in with their people to see if they're ok, and to offer support and a way to improve for those who are struggling. IMHO, I should say.

You can do this!

I'm not working right now (my own issues stemming from ADD, depression, etc), but when I did work, there were always managers who ruled and were jerks, seemed power-hungry, and then there were those who were supportive, encouraging and able to express when a good job was done. Guess who I liked working for?