feel like i made a huge mistake by opening up about my add

ugh well i haven't been doing too well lately. i'm in an outpatient program and have been going through severe depression during the last few months. i felt hopeless, like i've made too many bad decisions and idk. i have a difficult problem with accepting my add, though i was diagnosed a couple of years ago. i still feel like i don't have a strong handle on it. i also have social anxiety and i feel like that plays a big role with my negative thoughts that i have towards add. though recently, i feel like my negative thoughts have gotten better. i still tend to notice that i think that i'm stupid and dumb when i make a mistake due to my add symptoms. many times, my social anxiety causes me to want to avoid social situations where i'll have to read instructions or do difficult tasks in front of others because i fear that i may mess up (i've made many mistakes in the past because of this where i was ridiculed by peers).

today, in my program, we were in a small group where we were asked to explain what brought us to the outpatient program. i said that i struggled with depression and sa for years and then the group facilitator asked me if i could provide more details about my sa and depression. idk what led me to say this, but i brought up how i was diagnosed with add a few years ago and that though it made me feel hopeless and like i couldn't accomplish anything at first, it was also a relief because i finally knew what i was struggling with. (though i didn't say it that clearly). my depression and sa come from a lot of different factors in my life, not just my add. but for some stupid reason, i decided to bring it up to people today. i even have been working a lot on my organization skills, i also just recently finished an add class. i talked about it a lot with my former therapist and thought i was doing well to manage it. but idk, i think that my sa and depression make me feel otherwise. but as i said, it's not the only thing that makes me feel low. so the group ended up giving me feedback about my add (i didn't really want that to be the main focus of discussion) and i was asked questions like "are you talking to a therapist?" and "have you taken the add class here?" this other woman attempted to relate to my situation and talked about one of her disorders, she said that she coped by seeking other ppl that lived near her that had her disorder. it made her feel like she wasn't alone. i thought that was good advice but when the group facilitator brought up that it's easy for ppl with add to feel like they're dumb, stupid and lazy, but they're really not, i just kind of shut down. all my negative thoughts about my add came up iny head and i started thinking "i'm right, these ppl do think i'm dumb" and i just felt horrible for even bringing it up. i felt like it wasn't necessary to even talk about it. i felt out of place, like i was an alien or something. i guess my question is, was i being too open with these ppl? and also, should i start telling others that i'm close to that i have add? would it be a good way to learn to accept it? idk i'm kind of just ranting rn. but i would love to hear some advice. thanks.

I'm sorry you have been going through such a rough patch. I do have moderate-severe social anxiety (I believe not fully severe because i don't avoid social situations) and also I believe I have the ad part of adhd.

But from what you have said, you seem to be keeping your feelings all on the inside. I do this all the time and know that in the end, it just hurts you even more. I know from my social anxiety I would never say something like that to a bunch of strangers, but I know that with the more hyperactive/impulsive side of adhd can lead to saying things without thinking it through. If you have heard of Howie Mandel, a famous comedian (Deal or No Deal) who has OCD and ADHD, he revealed to the world that he had OCD and of course ADHD. It was on accident, but now, he trys to promote mental health to people. It's hard to accept things like this at first, but a key part of getting better is accepting you have ADHD. You can't not have it anymore. It's something you're born with. You will just have to cope and learn techniques to help you live with AD/HD.

And about telling people you are close to, I believe you should. I know that there is a lot of stigma out there about it, but telling people you are close to will not only help you accept your AD/HD more, but help them cope and try to help you with your struggles. Maybe don't start by telling everyone at once, but baby steps. Tell your spouse (if you have one idk), tell your best friend (if you have one idk), then tell your parents, etc. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Hope this helps and good luck .

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ADHD ≠ Dumb.

Let me start out by saying, bless you heart!! These are the daily struggles that those of us with ADD deal with. People have no idea what it is like to live a day in our shoes. I think you have an excellent concept about how it triggers your SA. In my opinion, yes it is a good idea to open up about it to those that you are close to when you are good and ready to.

I only say when you are ready to because I had one close friend that said to me, "well you don't seem to have ADD" so be prepared for a little bit of feedback. My response to her was, why do you think I go quiet in a lot of situations plus I am medicated which does help curb the sx. Some of those that have it are so good at hiding it. Because you are right, we don't want to be viewed as being "dumb" because we are not. Studies have shown we actually have high IQ. I know I do, but the SA, my train of thought and focus prevent me from being able to express that to the world consistently.

This forum is an excellent place to reach out. You can anonymously talk about situations that this. It is great therapy.

A lot of people are very ignorant when it comes to mental illness or disorders. There is still a stigma attached to it. I do think society is making some progress forward in making others more aware. I really have it in me to write a short statement or book about what it is like to have depression, anxiety and ADD.....maybe some day soon I can.

All the best!!

I also have social anxiety (and came out of some serious depression about half a year ago). I hate that feeling so much when I've been vulnerable with people and then second guess every last detail about how it went. When I read your words, I somehow get the impression that these people were attempting to be supportive, but maybe they were awkward about how to do it, or maybe it was just plain overwhelming for you to get all that attention all at once? SA has a way of making even positive moments feel bad at times, and the rejection sensitive dysphoria may can often come with ADD will tend to make that worse.