[Melmo]

I'm a single mom of two kids. I'm living pay check to pay check, struggling to keep up with housework and keep things organized, not working because trying to deal with working full time, take care of two kids and keep my apartment clean and organized has proven too much for me and I had a breakdown. I'm feeling like I'll never be successful because I can't handle the stress.

[Mitmit]

I am successfull when i want to be. But thats New. When i was younger it was not like that

[Mitmit]

Hang in there. It gets easier..

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Mitmit

Hang in there. It gets easier..

I hope so...but I just can't see how.

[Mitmit]

It Sounds like you have too much adhd, have you tried all the things others say reduce symptomps?

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Mitmit

It Sounds like you have too much adhd, have you tried all the things others say reduce symptomps?

How do I have too much ADHD? I have never heard of that before.
And no I haven't read anything about reducing symptoms.

[Mitmit]

Well, then i have good news. Are you telling me you have lived with adhd for 28 years, and you never tried fx avoiding gluten for a month?

[Mitmit]

Hey by the way kiddo, if you take care of two Kids while working full time, you're a success nomatter what you tell yourself.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Mitmit

Well, then i have good news. Are you telling me you have lived with adhd for 28 years, and you never tried fx avoiding gluten for a month?

Well I have not been diagnosed yet but my Dr said he believes I have it and prescribed me Ritalin. And no I haven't tried that but I'll do some looking into it, thank you.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Mitmit

Hey by the way kiddo, if you take care of two Kids while working full time, you're a success nomatter what you tell yourself.

Well that's the problem, I did it for 2 1\2 months then couldn't do it anymore so I'm put off work right now.

[Mitmit]

I have ADHD, i can only work 20 hours a week.

[Mitmit]

So i don't have a lot of money, but I've learned to make very good use of them!

[LacunaCoiler]

My personal opinion is that you're doing great. You have two wonderful children, you have a roof over your head, you have a full time job with which you can feed and take care of your family with. I think you've got ***** under control. The only advice I can give you is maybe try to take sometime in your busy schedule for yourself. Take time to meditate, take a nice bath, read a book, etc. Maybe even some therapy could help, I have a therapist that helps me with my add and the whole managing my life (cleaning, schedules, time management, etc) kind of thing.

[Chris Lawrence]

Hi, everybody! Right now I'm a little busy, but I'd like to say that this question that's been posed by Melmo expresses gets to the core point about this condition!! And why is that? Just because, at least in my case, this is the ULTIMATE CONSEQUENCE of having this illness, that's to say, I don't feel successful in any aspect of my entire life so far! I'm already 52 years old and never managed to attain WHAT I REALLY WANTED, DESIRED ETC! The result? I'm frustrated, anguished, revolted, unhappy all the time and often depressed! Well, I don't have time to describe what I meant to, but just for you to get the whole picture, alright? Best wishes!!

[Mitmit]

Originally Posted by Chris Lawrence

Hi, everybody! Right now I'm a little busy, but I'd like to say that this question that's been posed by Melmo expresses gets to the core point about this condition!! And why is that? Just because, at least in my case, this is the ULTIMATE CONSEQUENCE of having this illness, that's to say, I don't feel successful in any aspect of my entire life so far! I'm already 52 years old and never managed to attain WHAT I REALLY WANTED, DESIRED ETC! The result? I'm frustrated, anguished, revolted, unhappy all the time and often depressed! Well, I don't have time to describe what I meant to, but just for you to get the whole picture, alright? Best wishes!!

Damn dude..

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by LacunaCoiler

My personal opinion is that you're doing great. You have two wonderful children, you have a roof over your head, you have a full time job with which you can feed and take care of your family with. I think you've got ***** under control. The only advice I can give you is maybe try to take sometime in your busy schedule for yourself. Take time to meditate, take a nice bath, read a book, etc. Maybe even some therapy could help, I have a therapist that helps me with my add and the whole managing my life (cleaning, schedules, time management, etc) kind of thing.

But I don't have a job. I did for 2 1/2 months and then I couldn't do it anymore because my boss stopped me at work one day to tell me that I was too slow and not stressed out enough. It infuriates me just to write that because I was stressed out every f*ckibg day and even broke down crying not long before that day because my kids' sitter messaged me because I forgot my daughters bag with her diapers and wipes. So I quit that day. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was getting up at 5 or 5:30 am, rushing to pack lunches and shower, find clothes and get all 3 of us out the door by 6:30. (we were almost always late) we would walk to my oldest daughters daycare for 7 then rush to catch a bus to my youngest daughters daycare. Then I'd walk to work and get there just in time which was 8. If we were late leaving, instead if being late for work I'd call a cab so I wouldn't get in trouble. I spent a lot on cabs.
Then after work (there was no end time, because I did housekeeping in a hotel, we were done when our rooms were clean, which meant I was stressed out every day about weather I'd be done in time to pick up my kids before the daycare closed) I'd walk to one daycare, bus to the other and walk home. We were usually home around 6. By then I was exhausted and had a cranky toddler who was hungry and tired so I had to rush to get supper on the table, get them fed and in bed and then spend the rest of the time trying to clean up without getting distracted. I could not do it.

[Mitmit]

As you get older, you learn to accept your sick. You look into how much wellfare you can get. REALLY look into it. You accept your limits. It Sounds like you're trying to break yourown neck.

[TishaBuv]

I married a man who can support me.
I have a career that I can do as much as I can handle.
I maintain relationships with my children, whole family, friends.
I successfully got around doing the things I didn't want/can't do.
I feel successful.

[Mitmit]

I get a lot of wellfare.
I successfully watch a lot of Netflix
And at the moment im writing a crime novel
Im gonna send it in

[hotleopardmama]

I feel like I'm pretty successful--but I also had a pretty decent leg up by being born into an upper middle class semi-Caucasian American family.

My parents weren't actually born into the American upper middle class themselves, though. My mother is an immigrant with basic educational attainment in her home country and my father was nearly able to complete his AA before getting drafted into the US Army - but with both of them working and making strategic career choices, they were pretty firmly established as part of the American upper middle class by the time I was born.

Thanks to my parents, I grew up in a safe neighborhood, attended K-12 public schools in a good school district, and had an excellent (and very patient) childcare provider during my elementary school years. I worked part-time through college to pay for extra-curricular activities, eating out, gas, and my car loan/insurance/maintenance, but my parents paid for my public university education in its entirety.

Even though I was only just diagnosed with combined ADHD about 1.5 years ago, I've been easily distracted, absent-minded, hyperactive, and impulsive for as long as I can rememeber. My ADHD quirks are part of what makes me so entertaining or fun to be around--and why I'm so great at providing customer service with a smile... but those same traits aren't as useful as a partner, parent, confidant, and employee...

But, I've been at the same workplace for 10 years (in a few different depts) and have gradually moved up in responsibility, autonomy, and income. And, I've been with the same person for 12.5 years (married for 3.5 years with a 2.5 year old son, too). And, with medication, I've finally started getting better at managing my time and responsibilities as a mom, wife, friend, employee, daughter, and aunt.

Still a long way to go for sure, but I'm optimistic and thankful for my continuing upward trajectory.

...word vomit, sorry...

[Freebird2024]

I agree - working single parent living paycheck to paycheck with 2 kids-- is a huge accomplishment! celebrate that!
KISS - is what I am doing right now -- Keep it short and simple -- for everything in my life. I am not sure if it is an ADHD trait or just an additional thing I do - but I tend to make things really complicated (they say a perfectionist but it never feels liek that to me) -- and then I have organization and time management issues - so it gets overwhelming very quickly. So KISS is my mantra for now. I do short simple things -- like- just keep one room really really clean - I started with the kitchen. Now I have that under control, next the dining room. Now I am moving the living room this week. I do little things every time I go in - very quick short things - pick on ething up, wipe down the table, neaten the cushions etc. I am also trying to help my 17 year old daughter with this too - as she is also ADHD (I think we all are - what a mess!) For us ADHD it's like doing everything underwater.
Good luck - you are a champion!

[BlueMerleGirl]

Hi melmo, so sorry you're feeling so stressed. I do feel successful in some ways but not others. I have a good job but I too struggle with cooking and cleaning and organizing. I only have one toddler and I am married so I am sure your life is much harder. For house work, what has helped me is to make sure I clean every day after my daughter goes to bed. Just maybe for a half an hour or so, so I keep up with stuff and don't feel like I'm always having to do all the cleaning on my days off. I've also been using the crockpot a lot, I start making the meal the night before, just super easy stuff. Put it in the fridge and then start it the next day. Try not to worry about whether or not you are "successful", because that means something different for everyone. Figure out what you need to achieve and then try to work at your goal at a very slow pace that is not overwhelming. It also doesn't matter what other people think. So what if your house is messy. Clean only as much as you need to to feel comfortable. Good luck

[June81280]

Yes I do and so is my daughter.

[Hedocakes]

I find Workflowy and bullet journaling really helpful. Workflowy is good for listing all the projects you have and then all the individual steps you have to take to complete the project. (For this purpose, any task that is more than 2-3 steps is a project). You can then mark tasks as complete and enjoy the accomplishment.

For bullet journaling I write down 3-5 tasks each day. One task is something that ABSOLUTELY has to be done that day. The rest are things I'd like to get done, but it's okay if I don't.

Originally Posted by Mitmit

Well, then i have good news. Are you telling me you have lived with adhd for 28 years, and you never tried fx avoiding gluten for a month?

You will take gluten out of my diet when you wrench pasta and crackers from my cold, dead hands.

[bipolar_militarywyf]

I take vyvance and i am able to focus and get small things done a little at a time. my grades in school have improved. coming down off the meds is the hardest because i feel exhausted.