Coping with ADD

My son is 14 and has ADD. I would like some feedback from other parents on how they have dealt with teenagers who have ADD. My fiance is getting very frustrated and I can honestly say there are days I just want to throw my hands up. My fiance doesn't understand ADD. He thinks it is just Josh being a teenager, but I know there is a difference. Are there any suggestions on helping us all deal, Josh included. I need suggestions on how to help him concentrate to get chores finished, get along with his siblings, the depression, feeling the world is against him, and the mouthing back. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Has your son been officially diagnosed with ADD? Or is this a suspicion you have?

I have ADD myself but was not diagnosed until I was in my early 20s. Looking back, there were signs present in high school and definitely college. But due to poor family relationships, I did not feel I could get proper treatment until I was on my own health plan. I take medication daily now and am able to manage quite well.

He was officially diagnosed in 2nd grade..he is now in 8th. He takes Adderall.

Okay, that's exactly what I take.. Adderall XR 40mg every morning.

Daily charts, goals, rewards, structure as much as possible....along with heavy doses of adderall.

I have very strong feelings about drugging children-- only in extreme cases do I see it necessary-- so I won't recommend anything in that regard.(there are no long term studies as to the side effects such drugs have on growing bodies-- that really concerns me) With that said-- my youngest son was diagnosed with ADD- struggled with behavior problems, attention span, failing grades etc....

He was on strattera for a few years(I didn't know then what I know now).... but I missed his fun side, his creativity seemed to be gone too, though his attention improved as well as his grades and his behavior was much more obedient. After a few years, at 14 we changed the med to Adderal(sp?)...... it was a mistake. It wasn't the right med for him as his symptoms worsened. So, as a family, we decided to go without meds. I turned to a support site on the internet, it was very helpful to read about other parents that were going through similar. And they had many great ideas. Also I was in therapy at this time,(for something totally separate) and the psychologist gave me some ideas on talking with my son and helping him to feel heard. I also color coded his subjects for school-- like math was the red notebook and red book cover, english was the green spiral and the green book cover etc...-- and had a weekly report that the teachers sent home with him on Friday so we could keep track of all his assignments and tests.
It's much extra work to parent an ADD/ADHD child but I believe it can be done and often without meds. One has to be involved constantly-- I mean constantly-- all the way to the day they graduate.... and it's not easy.

If you want you can PM me and I'll give you more detailed info.

Good luck to you and your son.

mandy

mandy, good advice, but you can't be with your son 24 hours a day....hence my ultimate conclusion for medication.
adderall may not be the right one...that's trial and error...but it's been around in one form or another for decades and has been proven to work.
i would hate to see my kids ridiculed or in trouble at school cos we witheld meds.
i believe in utilizing all science has to offer, especially if it produces favorable results.

gtrplayer,

Though I disagree with you that the ultimate conclusion is to be medicating our young-- I do respect your belief. Yes, it's proven to work-- but at what cost in 20-30 years, to the children? stimulants have a possible link to developing-- hallucinations, delusional thinking and mania in children and adolescents without prior history of psychotic illness.... hmmm... could that have something to do with the increase in the diagnosing of "bi-polar" recently in children/teens??

Here's a quote:
"A growing number of health professionals, parents and educators believe that Attention Deficit Disorder ADD ADHD is a disorder, but they do not agree that a long-term course of medication is the answer."

I have researched because I was concerned about putting drugs into a child, someone that depends on me doing the right thing, that are on the same lines as cocaine and meth.

here's the link I got that quote from if anyone is interested:http://www.theadhdspecialist.com/Adhd_Medication.html


-- too many people want a quick fix -- hurry-- brush this under the rug!! My kid has to succeed! Instead of taking it a healthy natural way(without side effects) with sleeves rolled up-- therapy, research and support for parents and child.

mandy

My kids were on them twenty years ago and have been of them...they are functioning well.
i have been on them for 10 years and am functioning well.
No side effects from adderall.

Have you looked in ADHD Coaching at all?