All by myself (isn't that a song?)

Well it was bound to happen. My on again/off again gf since 05 (and only one I've been with during that time) told me she can't move 4 hours away with me when I go to complete my degree. Apparently she needs to be close to her family which she hardly sees(but is constantly on the phone with).* I told her, "hey, you can be on the moon and call them.* This is a few hours away.

We were supposed to get married which would've been great since... since I wouldn't be alone.* I hate being alone.* Still, I have known for a while the relationship wasn't right.

This is the second time she did this.* To think I moved down here for her and she can't move 4 hours away for us to have a better life.* I was going to school for us, so I could get a better job for us.* To take care of her.* To have someone be a companion to me.

I exhibit serious lack of social skills when it comes to women and the (relatively) few girlfriends I've had were mostly because of luck.* I'm almost 40 now, no degree, can't find a job in this 1 horse town. Not just women, I have no close friends... socializing friends. I do have self confidence (in general).* I'm active at church and in the community.

The truth is I love her, I don't want her to be hurt, I only want the best for her but then I think of ex-girlfriends and God. I would love to be with them again.* They're everything she isn't but she is one thing they aren't. That thing is she's here.

I don't want someone who thinks my intellect is out of their league. I want someone with their own original thoughts. Someone who does their own research rather than relying on me.

I hope I am not coming off as conceited.* That isn't my intent.* I am not superficial. In fact some of the women I find attractive have made others question my sanity. To be fair, I'm not exactly Mr Photogenic.* I think there's one picture out there I like.* Don't come from photogenic people either (I know, sounds horrible). My job history is horrible from a life of self-medicating.* I have aspie tendencies... when I meet someone my conversation stays on a surface level, yet I'm not shy.* I literally have no clue how to get to know someone well enough to see if they want to socialize... do I just hit them with a club and drag them home?

I do have assets.* I have a gpa* between 3.7-4 depending on how this semester goes. I have a good chance of entering one of the top accounting schools in the nation.*** Been told I'm funny.* Have a lot of life experience.*Still, don't see myself finding someone else until someone else finds me.

Hi CaseyJones, sorry you are having relationship difficulties. I am never sure what to say to people struggling in relationships because I am too.

You said: Sounds like in your gut you know something is not right. Maybe a trial separation might make it clearer how you both feel. She might be on the phone to you...or not.

One thing you can do is be an active participant here on Psych Central. I have met many friends here. It is something you can carry with you wherever you go.

If you can't find a job in a one horse town, that may be true of relationships. Maybe your girlfriend is attached to that place and does not want to change.

Rather than making a decision let life lead you to where you need to be for full expression of who you are.

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Rather than making a decision let life lead you to where you need to be for full expression of who you are.<br/>

That's definitely something to consider. Yes, neither a career or a relationship is going to happen here. I was originally moving for the education and career, now I need to add relationship I guess.

It is a song. You're right.

It was recorded by Eric Carmen, the former frontman of Raspberries.

Its impossible to know when and where a relationship is going to happen, for me its almost always been when I've least expected it. I wouldn't completly lose hope in the "one horse town" you never know

As for your current relationship, how much of your first post have you told to her? To me it sounds like a communication issue (really common!) but having ASD can make those problems a lot more difficult on both ends, especially when it comes to the unspoken/nonverbal stuff- which i think she should understand being in an intimate relationship with you. That said, i think if you just asked about why things have seemed "off" lately, and told her how you feel - it could open the door to for you to resolve the conflict. Otherwise i think the likelyhood of you guys drifting apart is pretty high unless she decides to come back to you on her own.

I hope the best for you and if you need advice on what to say im sure anyone on here would be willing to help you, or feel free to PM me



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You are right about not knowing when a relationship will happen.* A job is easier to gauge and I have more opportunities elsewhere.

I actually told her all of what I shared in the first post.* And we got back together for about an hour before she accused me of cheating (a common accusation of hers, along with me "using" her).* She explained it was because she was "overly-medicated" due to her pain meds, but this isn't the first time.* I tried to tell her that every time she made that accusation she is calling me a liar and that she can't love me if she can't trust me.

She goes for counseling every few months for a quick-fix and then thinks everything is fine.* Then her demons get to her again, and we have more problems.* Apparently she doesn't feel she needs more counseling.* She literally only goes for about 6 hours a year. *

Tonight I explained to her that healthy people don't treat others this way or let themselves be treated this way and we've had a dysfunctional relationship more than a healthy one.* She said a male neighbor invited her over for dinner and asked if I was ok with that.* I really am.* She will always hold a special place in my heart but if I wasn't worth her dealing with her insecurities or not allowing her being medicated to treat me like dirt, there's no point to going on with this.

Well,i think it was definitely the right thing for you to do by trying to lay everything out on the table and have a talk with her. Youve done your part. Since you feel that your relationship has been more dysfunctional than not, i think you are right, maybe it is time that you both go your separate ways (thats also a song! )

Im sorry if it wasnt meant to be , it sucks having to face the world alone! I think, once you move on, you should just try and get out as much as you can. All you can do is have hope, and im sure you will find the right person someday

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