AvPD and BPD

Hi all!

I was dignosed some years ago with AvPD and strong traits of perfectionism.
I was talking with a good friend today. She made me a very constructive criticism from carefull and I came to question if I was bad diagnosed or if it's possible to have traits of both AvPD and BPD. Thanks for that. Thanks for your understanding and care, BreakForTheLight!

I'm gonna look for an appointment with my psychiatrist and I will openly talk about the topic. I was looking for BPD symtoms and I don't see very strong traits in me but as I said this friend pointed me out a couple of things that have to be with this disorder.
But, I want to know what's people's view about the topic.

Thanks in heart!

Finally! This is awesome! I know you think I'm just awful, but seriously, there is treatment that works for BPD, and if you can make your life better, that is fantastic!

I posted before what DBT covers, which is the therapy developed for people with BPD. I think you'd be great at it. It seems like everything you say you have issues with can be addressed in that type of therapy.

In a nutshell, these are the traits of BPD:
1 No sense of identity on her own, completely dependent on others to give her an identity. My therapist described someone with BPD as a jelly bean without the jelly inside - without someone confirming what she thinks about herself, it's as if she doesn't exist.
2 Super sweet when she gets what she wants, but rages beyond all appropriateness when she doesn't. Someone who always seems to stay in the emotional extremes - either loving you to bits, or hating your guts.
3 Communicates in a grandiose manner, arrogant and self-important, assumes everyone will agree with whatever she's going to say, and thinks she has the right to tell other people how to live their lives no matter how personal the matter at hand. Comes off as attention seeking. Extremely poor personal boundaries.
4 My therapist says, if she has a client who is driving her nuts, 9 times out of 10 she's borderline.

I found this in the DSM IV and DSM 5:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self- damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self- mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self- mutilating behavior.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I see myself identified with 2 and 4 points.

Perhaps, I'm realizing of these issues bc it's now when I'm now moré open up to meet people.

I know it. I had a borderline in my life who sent me all kinds of terrible letters. I even have to go to the police.

Think those are the old guidelines?

Which are the new ones?

I had posted it before, but it was deleted.

1 Markedly impoverished, poorly developed, or unstable self-image, often associated with excessive self criticism; chronic feelings of emptiness; dissociative states under stress.
2 Instability in goals, aspirations, values, or career plans.
3 Unstable emotional experiences and frequent mood changes; emotions that are easily aroused, intense, and/or out of proportion to events and circumstances.
4 Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control.
5 Fears of rejection by – and/or separation from – significant others, associated with fears of excessive dependency and complete loss of autonomy.
6 Depressivity: Frequent feelings of being down, miserable, and/or hopeless; difficulty recovering from such moods; pessimism about the future; pervasive shame; feeling of inferior self-worth; thoughts of suicide and suicidal behavior
7 Impulsivity: Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing or following plans; a sense of urgency and self-harming behavior under emotional distress.
8 Risk taking: Engagement in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard to consequences; lack of concern for one‟s limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.
9 Hostility: Persistent or frequent angry feelings; anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults.

Interesting.
However I feel now better than ever. Perhaps, the therapy, the techniques I learnt helped to cope with some of the symtoms.

I remember how I was with my partner when I meet him as in a roller coaster. One day I thought he was the most marvellous man and one day, the evil in disguise. It took a lot of time for him that I trust him.

I think I'm gonna have to learn laughing at borders instead of avies.

I have been wondering for awhile now if I'm more BPD, ck2d that last list you posted I can tick every single one! I feel totally unable to go to my doc and say ' hey I think I could be BPD what do you think?' Asking for something seems to much I had a Pdoc app and GP app booked last Friday and just couldn't bring myself to go to either apps

I'm as a fool doing any kind of online tests. Yesterday, I did one for borderline and I graded: likely borderline.
What a mess!

My impulsiviness doesn't let me wait to my psych app. Lol!

I was checking again borderline and avoidants traits.
This is what I see. I have 5 avoidant trait and 5 borderline traits in a slight level.
This is my theory, although it maybe an stupidiness.

My avoidant traits controll (or confuse me-not sure of that)my border's traits and now that I have bettered in my avoidant traits and I'm moré open to life, in general, my evil's part (kidding, no ofense here), my border's traits arise.

Where are these criteria? I need know it to show them my psych in Spanish?

Compared to AvPD (must have 4 of the following):

•Avoids occupational activities involving significant interpersonal contact, due to fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
•Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of acceptance
•Shows restraint within intimate relationships due to fears of shame or ridicule
•Preoccupied with fears of receiving criticism or rejection in social situations
•Inhibited in new interpersonal situations due to feelings of inadequacy
•Considers self as inferior to others, socially inept, or personally unappealing
•Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

Anyone who has ever been near a DSM knows that that the criteria of many mental health "disorders" overlap, which is why we can easily get confused when trying to play diagnostician. The debate about social anxiety vs. AvPD will continue to persist, even among mental health professionals. Also the difference between having an avoidant personality vs. having avoidant personality disorder also can be argued. Especially on this forum

I see myself perfectily réflexed on AvPD. I can give a different impression in the boards though. Here, I'm in my sauce. Lol!
But I also see myself réflex in some traits of borderline mainly in the way of think. I mean, I pick up a single detail and through it I make a whole theory (a false theory about the person). This theory can vary from black to white when another I build a new hypothesis, again through a single detail.

Another important trait is that I have a poor identity and it can vary according to the perception I think people have of me.
If a kid of mine hugs me, I feel accepted and this single act means a world for me.
When I feel rejected my mood is low and I feel noone.

I want to know which are my tendencies but noway I'm gonna stick myself any label, being the avoidant label or the borderline one. I'm much moré of a disorder. It is only a part of me and I will do this part ****s me as less as possible.

I see you 0% avoidant and really strong borderline. I'm not a doctor, but I can tell a cat from a dog, you know? The problem when you are undiagnosed and untreated is that it does take over all of you. You could be the sweetest person who ever existed and it won't matter one bit - you're consumed in the fog and you'll never be able to get out on your own.

The labels don't matter. The therapy does. Being aware of how you react to people because of your mental state, and adjusting for it, is important.

Right now, I'm in an avoidant crisis. I can't see how the world has space for me. I can't understand how anyone could tolerate me, let alone want to spend time with me. Anyone else on the planet would be a better choice than me.

Alright, fine, I can think that way... until I interact with someone who does care about me. To them, how I'm thinking about myself is downright insulting. If I say, I'm sure there's someone better for you to be with right now, they hear that as rejection. It's not. It's me thinking I'm worthless, horrible, a waste of life, and a burden on everyone who ever existed. In other words, avoidant.

There is no therapy that will counteract true avoidant feelings. You just have to learn to suck it up and live with it. There is therapy for borderlines. If I had a choice, I would jump ship in an instant. But I don't. And neither do you. So get reevaluated, stop worrying about the stupid alphabet soup, and get better.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad at this moment. I have sometimes felt like that. As nothing, unhelpful, noone who decerves anything. That makes me avoid any kind of events with people and hide myself at home, in my room or in my office.

I soon learnt that I didn't fit in anywhere. With my therapy I learnt to see myself in a different way and I left behind the most part of my fears. I didn't call it being bad treated.
So, perhaps I'm not an avoidant but I neither see myself strong borderline as you say.

Have you ever met a true borderline who is untreated?
I have. She sent me all kind of awful letters, phoned me and said false things about me. Sent letters to my parents talking bad about my mum.

You don't know me at all, Ckd2, I would never be able to do such an horrible thing. I never caused me physical harm or need to do it.

My kids are safe with me. They love being with me. I would never do something to hurt them.

Can I read properly people? No. I use to had difficulties in seeing the whole picture but it's now when I'm taking the time to do it.
It's true that I need reassurance when I'm having moré contact with someone bc if I feel rejection, I take the relation in another way. This is what I do now. I used to avoid it, but not now.
Life is a give and take and I'm not ready to be an idiot and give, give and give.

I forget my joke.
It's possible, only possible that I'm not dog or a cat, perhaps I only another boring normie.