How to learn to live with this?

I'm not sure if I'm gonna make sense.
I don't know if I was doing the right thing. I was fighting for all my life againts avoidance . I even believe now that I was lying to myself. I liked to think than I was more than that. Neither I was ready to accept the label. I mean, I only considered it as a ghost I had to get rid of.
I did all what the doctors and psychologists asked me. I had all faith in a cure and spread my optimism with people who were like me.

Now, I don't know if I was doing the right thing. I think lying to myself was one of the mistakes because when you end up being hit by reality, your disappointment is higher.

One of the few things I still haven't tried to do is to accept this. I only fought, fought againts it without knowing the battle was missing beforehand. What should I do? What do you do?
Hope I made some sense.

I've been the same way. I likely had OCPD instead of Avoidant PD, later diagnosed with PDNOS. But they are somewhat similar. Who I "was" in terms of interacting with the rest of the world certainly wasn't who I wanted to be. And early in my experience with psychotherapy I was told, "Anything you are willing to face you can overcome." Well, I was certainly willing and tried.

Except that there really doesn't seem to be much of a way to change things. Understand, maybe, and that helps some. I understand my options better, maybe. Maybe someday there will be some better ideas but for now. . .I've been in and out of therapy for 50 years. I think the "change" I need to make now is just accepting, too. Ugh. . .not what I want, but. . .yes, reality is reality.

I don't know either, yet have come to recognize labels rarely help.
It is frustrating, and some days are better than others. Simple as that.
Being your own best advocate goes a long way.

be well
Jade

It's only over the past 4 years that I became aware that I had a problem with avoidance, and during that time I've been depressed and at times suicidal, but I now accept my life and who I am, with a better understanding than I ever had in my 47 years of life. It doesn't make relating to the world any easier but I accept that I am happier alone with my pets.

Yes, I understand. I also come down into depressions when I feel I can't cope with things due to my avoidance or at least, due to my insecurities.
Were you diagnosed with the disorder or traits? I was diagnosed with traits, only that to be honest, I see myself reflected in each of the criteria points in the diagnoses. Since I wrote this thread, I was living changes. I'm into the spiritual path and a new therapist who made me believe than my pattern of thoughts can be change.

I too feel that labels rarely help.

......

I am only just now aware of this disorder and I am moving into the headspace coping and adjusting with feeling this way not fighting it. I am curious how this makes me different from other people, like how my own internal experience regarding socializing and dealing with other people. I have felt that level of discomfort for as long as I can remember but I always attributed to outside forces. Like when I lived in apartment I thought I might enjoy socializing more once I owned my own home. Now I am starting the mental of shift of "this is just how I am and its not going to change"

Me too. Always waiting for a miracle. Changes from the outside.
Were you diagnosed? I was and my last diagnoses is avoidant and perfectionist traits.