Waiting for bedtime...and then not wanting to go to sleep

Most days (especially when I'm depressed), I can't wait until bedtime...I can't wait for the day to be over. But then when it finally gets here, I don't want to go to bed because I know that as soon as I wake up, I have another long hard day ahead of me. Does anyone else feel like this?

I have just joined this support group because I am finally facing the facts of my mental illness. I am 52 yrs old and have had episodes of instability since I was 14. I recently found out that my brother was diagnosed with bipolar 4 yrs ago. My mother shot herself in June of last year and I have always known that we both suffered from depression. I tried to get my mother to the doctor years ago but she became paranoid and freaked out. I have not been treated by a doctor yet because of issues of no insurance. I just had a manic episode 2 days ago and I am truly at a loss.

I, too, can't wait to go to bed at night but when I get there, I can't sleep and then I worry about what I am going to do to get through the next day. I haven't been able to sleep or eat for a week. I know that I will get through this but why does it have to be so painful?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sounds exactly how I feel just wishing the day away and wanting the time to come thats acceptable to others for me to go to my bed and hide from the world. My favourite time is that time where I can go to bed. Then I wake up and do it all again hating the fact I even woke up. I see my psych on Wednesday and dont want to see her as I believe I should be over this by now and I'm not. Lifes a struggle and it shouldnt be this way.
Are you getting help ?grizmom, I hope things get better for you soon as noone deserves to suffer this way

Grizmom, that sounds EXACTLY how I feel lots of the time. I hate the cycle of waking up, going to school, homework, bedtime, and repeat.

Not sure if this would help you, but I try to make time for me to do something I enjoy during the day, so I'll always have something to look forward to. For me, it's usually listening to music.

I'm on meds and was doing fairly well on them but since I started keeping my mood diary a couple of months ago, I've realized I'm actually still having quite a bit of depression, it's just not as severe as it was before. Right now I'm trying to switch to a new pdoc, as soon as I get switched over I'm going to get in and see about a med adjustment. I also want to look at trying something different for my anxiety because what I'm taking for that works okay but it makes me really tired all the time and my current pdoc had said it might be a side effect that would go away, but it's been over 6 weeks and I'm still exhausted all day. Plus, although it helps with the anxiety that I was feeling for no reason in particular, if I get triggered my anxiety goes through the roof, and I tend to get triggered easily. I'm also looking into starting therapy again and I am starting soon in a program for people with mental health issues, they help you to meet any goals you set. So I'm doing what I can, but it gets tiring having to work so hard just to feel even close to "normal".

I have these same feelings as well. I look forward to the comfort of night, but I can't turn my mind off thinking of the next day and having to do it all over again. sometimes it is overwhelming and I call in sick. I just started Lunesta, but so far it hasn't worked. I am going to start journaling more before bed to see if that helps. I am also a big believer in excercise. It seems to make me more balanced.

((((grizmom))))) i too do that , like almost daily, it sucks because i feel guilty, i have a 7 year old and i watch that clock waiting to get her into bed, alot of guilt about that, then i stay up way late being unproductive-watching tv, reading- and cant fall asleep. Do you also get tired in the afternoon?? i am absolutely wiped out by 1oclock. take care

I am usually tired all day, I tend to go to bed pretty late (around 1am) and I actually do sleep well with my meds (8 - 10 hours), but I'm still tired when I get up. If I don't take my anti-anxiety meds I get anxious, so I do take them, but then I feel exhausted and I often end up having to take a nap after being awake for 4 or 5 hours, and by the time I wake up from my nap it's time to take my second dose of anti-anxiety meds, so then I'm tired in the evening as well. Drinking a couple of cups of coffee helps, but then I get anxious and jittery. We've tried a lower dose of the anti-anxiety but it doesn't lower my anxiety at that dose. *sigh* So that's why I hate to go to bed; I know that once I take my sleep meds I will be able to sleep, I just hate the fact that I have to get up and start over again! I hope the doc will have me try something different. I'd like to be not anxious and not exhausted!

Thanks for all of the replies, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this!