[busiemommie22305]

For the past several weeks I have been so irriatable. I've snapped at my great-grandmother and my 5yr old. Last night my 5yr old and I got in a fight and I shook him (like I would if I were waking someone one, so nothing hard) and I swore and yelled. He just got worse. Am I loosing my temper because I don't know how to handle it, or is it my bi-polar? I understand that some of it is because my 5yr old is spoiled to some degree. I just don't know which is the bigger problem.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

[perpetuallysad]

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist?

[cocos421]

I was like this a while back. I'm bipolar. I used to fight alot with my stepdaughter who was 6 or 7 at the time. I would get very angry with her. I would throw things, too. The final straw came when I punched a woman in a parking lot because she was mad at my driving or something. I now have an assault charge on my record.
I had to go to anger management classes for it. I don't know if that helped or not. My doctor put me on Abilify after the incident and that seemed to help with all my irritability and rage.
I also saw a therapist and she helped me how to handle things with my stepdaughter.
I think it is the bipolar.

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by busiemommie22305

For the past several weeks I have been so irriatable. I've snapped at my great-grandmother and my 5yr old. Last night my 5yr old and I got in a fight and I shook him (like I would if I were waking someone one, so nothing hard) and I swore and yelled. He just got worse. Am I loosing my temper because I don't know how to handle it, or is it my bi-polar? I understand that some of it is because my 5yr old is spoiled to some degree. I just don't know which is the bigger problem.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

Help is out there. Talking on here might calm you but it won't change your mood or behavior. Since you are starting to lose control with your child (I am sure you didn't intend to shake him) you really need to see a therapist to learn coping skills to deal with your irritability and for child rearing.

[allme]

hmmm you know I always ask myself are my behaviours a result of my BP.... I think it's really hard to say. Are you under any stress from life at the moment? Maybe you just need to relax.. take a relaxing weekend.... pamper yourself... dont be too hard on yourself..

[musikcrazy]

I have these same questions. I don't think it's a matter of determining whether it's the bipolar or not. The fact is that you have bipolar disorder and that can cause many reasons as to why you are having trouble with anger. Bipolars are more prone to not handle stress well and of course there's that whole irritability thing!! My pdoc put me on Geodon to calm the anger and it has worked for me. It was hard to get used to the med. At first it made me very groggy, but now I am fine. I still get very angry and frustrated with my four year old (and the kids I teach at school), but it's not as bad. Now I just walk away when I feel it coming on. Although, I did snap a few weeks ago and throw a lid (it broke!). I have recently started drinking an all natural drink called CALM. You get it at the health food store. It is pure magnesium and so far so good. I drink it in addition to the arsenal of drugs that I am on. It reduces stress, and I know that for me, stress makes the irritability worse (and if your five year old is anything like my four year old, I TOLTALLY get it!!!!

[SunnyD]

For the past several weeks I have been so irritable. I've snapped at my great-grandmother and my 5yr old. Last night my 5yr old and I got in a fight and I shook him (like I would if I were waking someone one, so nothing hard) and I swore and yelled. He just got worse. Am I loosing my temper because I don't know how to handle it, or is it my bi-polar? I understand that some of it is because my 5yr old is spoiled to some degree. I just don't know which is the bigger problem.

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

There are some real ramifications for anything that happens sick or not. You haven't mentioned what kind of medication you are on, have a pdoc or tdoc.
The bipolar does effect my anger especially when I am a hypo manic. Things that wouldn't bother me normally can turn on a dime when I am agitated. I am very afraid of rage and I try to keep watch on it. I have Klonopin to use as needed for this.
What kind or resources do you have available to you?

[trose0124]

I have learned instead of trying to figure out if my behaviors are my bipolar or not, to look at if I have had any triggers recently. For example, have I been sleeping, is it around a time change, have I messed up on my meds, etc. For me, it is easier to identify my triggers than to classify my behaviors, then if I realize I have been exposed to triggers, I can go to my doctor for some further direction. Just a thought.

[WendyAussie]

I agree with what trose said. I am an educated intelligent woman, but I have never been able to understand the distinction between what is my "personality" and what is attributable to Bipolar (The psychiatrists and psychologists say they are distinct things). But in reality, it doesn't matter. What I need to know is what can I do as long term preventative measure, ie psych meds and long term therapy (and for me AA as well as I am an 11 years sober alcoholic) and what can I do if the poop hits that fan and I am depressed (sometimes suicidally and I nearly did die), hypomania, manic, mixed states, rapid cycling, panic and anxiety, low functionality, and yes, a very short temper when I am ill - particularly depressed/panic/anxiety. I also have long term resentments of people who have hurt me and because I am not working and am ona Disability Pension, I have LOADS of hours in the day to ruminate about past hurts-people who are not even in my life today (drives me crazy, excuse the wording).

So wherever these mind-states come from I need to be heavily equipped. I journal, journal, journal. I use sites like to to vent and to explore other peoples' wisdom, I see 2 psychologists (each has something different to offer) and my psychiatrist. And I am lucky enough to be able to call Psych Triage at the Psych Ward in the local hospital, as well as calling my main psychologist during the day if I'm desperate and she's available.

[busiemommie22305]

I've got an appointment to see my therapist Tuesday morning.

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist?

[busiemommie22305]

I have been under a great deal of stress since the beginning of March. And I don't exactly have the time or the money to paper myself. And it's hard to do with a 5yr old running aroud.

Originally Posted by allme

hmmm you know I always ask myself are my behaviours a result of my BP.... I think it's really hard to say. Are you under any stress from life at the moment? Maybe you just need to relax.. take a relaxing weekend.... pamper yourself... dont be too hard on yourself..

[busiemommie22305]

I take Litium, Zoloft, and Klonopin for anxiety attacks. This is the first time I have acted like this since I started bipolar treatment.
I have a therapist that I stopped seeing on a trial bases, but I've made an appointment to see her. And then there is a PA, in the same office, that perscribes my drugs.

I'm always a little worried that my anger/agitation is a learned habit, because I remember my mother lashing out at me when I was a teen. And her father and brother would get into physical fights at times. So I wasn't taught very good copeing skills. And if I keep this up my son wouldn't learn any either.

Originally Posted by SunnyD

There are some real ramifications for anything that happens sick or not. You haven't mentioned what kind of medication you are on, have a pdoc or tdoc.
The bipolar does effect my anger especially when I am a hypo manic. Things that wouldn't bother me normally can turn on a dime when I am agitated. I am very afraid of rage and I try to keep watch on it. I have Klonopin to use as needed for this.
What kind or resources do you have available to you?

[perpetuallysad]

I think that its a learned behavior is very possible. I grew up where I was mistreated (that's really an understatement) and I have things that are sort of "automatic" reactions to situations, though I do not let myself react-I generally hold it in and go in the other room, for example. When your 5 year old is driving you nuts and you want to react, try taking a time out for yourself, even if it means his behavior isn't immediately addressed. That way you have time to calm down and come up with a rational response. Its hard having a child, I was a single mom until my son was 4 1/2; I know how much that can push your buttons without even meaning to.

[leah0306]

the stress of parenting is hard, especially with an illness, i hope you can be helped at your appt. tuesday, and take care

[WendyAussie]

busimommie, I think it is very brave what you are opening up and talking about, and that's always the start of a road to a solution. I too was brought up in a home like others mentioned and I wasn't taught proper coping skills, but I was taught to use food and alcohol as coping strategies (11 year sober now), as well as passive aggresive and aggressive behavior to manage. And of course all of that doesn't work in the long-run, it's counter-productive to self and others. These days I have progressed on a continuum to deploying assertiveness and boundaries to live life, and I really have changed a lot. But I will be working on all that until the end of my days.

[Typo]

((((((((Busiemommie)))))))))

I get very irritable at times to and lash out, I don't know if it's my bipolar disorder, the PTSD, or some odd combination of both.

I've found when I start getting edgy, or snappy, I take a time out, nothing big or special, maybe find a quiet room to sit in and count to ten and do some breathing exercises, or I take myself outside and get some fresh air and remind myself that I am calm and in control of my behavior and what I do affects others.

I know sometimes it's hard to walk away when in a moment like you described, but sometimes it's best to remind ourselves and stepback, and come back when we are of clearer mind and sounder state (I struggle a lot with this when I am caring for my little sister)

I would mention this to your therapist and Pdoc, I hope all goes well and let us know how you are hun

Best Wishes
Typo

[busiemommie22305]

Went to see the Therapist today, she said that it sounds like I'm not using the skills we talked about in therapy, and she's right because I can't really remember the skills we talked about. But she has suggested Supportive Therapy and is going to talk to someone about me joining that group.

She's told me to read all the self-help books I've been given and try some of the stuff in them. She said that nothing is going to change unless I'm goinig to change me. And that is something I'm going to have to want. My problem is that I try to change everything all at once and freak when it falls apart becasue I'm doing too much.

I am getting better at my time management and have found that a schedule is helpful to both me and my son, though it is taking time to get used to. (There is less resistance on my son's part when it comes to bed time. Woohoo!!)

She also said that I need to talk to my drug doctor next time something like that happens.

So basicly, stop feeling sorry for myself. Try some of the stuff we've talked about until I find something that works. And move on!!! Sounds like a long road to me.

[findingmyself1005]

yes its a long road but one that will be well travled and one that is neeed becaue once you learn the right way to handle daily stressors you will be feeling way better ...think baout how awful you feel after getting all upset about something..i knw for me i would get a headache and ,my muslces would be reall;y sore and then when i am able to just let thinsg roll off i am way better and can still keep my good mood ..but its soo hard when you have all your life spent it snapping at eveyrthing i knwo i used to be the same way and i also had to grow up around a father that acted that way so i am a firm b eliever that we do learn that behvior without a doub t but then add a mentl health disorder on top of that and it just makes it that much harder that is teh way that i look at it