Feeling HOPELESS

I feel like the most hopeless individual on the planet. I feel the need to TALK and ramble excessively. I know what illness I have....but I don't know what's wrong with me. I know that probably makes no sense to many. I am just so restless. I'm tired of being here, but I don't know what to do about it. Everything just seems pointless, and I have no desire to even leave the house. I have been diagnosed for a few months now... with bipolar II disorder. My family ( my parents, grandparents, sisters) don't understand a thing about it, and really don't care to. When I have an "episode" I literally feel like I am going INSANE. I see things, I hear things, I feel things that aren't really there. I'm married, and I have a very supportive husband. Although sometimes I know he feels like throwing his hands up. Most people think this is a personal flaw of my own. But I honestly can't help myself. I have been prescribed Effexor XR, Depakote ER, and Seroquel. I am still unable to function like I should. It seems I can't put into words just exactly how I feel, but there must be someone out there who can relate. Thanks for "listening". <font color="purple"> </font>

Welcome, btw, to psychcentral ((((ment))))) There are ppl in chat right now,, why not go and ramble excessively with the others????

Depression can cause agitation, feelings of boredom can also add to depression. TC of yourself.

Hi "MP"

It takes a while to get on the right med combinations and amounts. Are you talking to a psychiatrist about your state of mind? You also might want to look into CBT; see if there is a psychiatrist/ Therapist who does group Cognitive Behavior Therapy for people diagnosed as Bipolar. This can teach skill sets for the type of thinking that exacerbates depression.

I responded so late, who knows what your current state is, hopefully you are feeling better. Don't feel hopeless, these states of mind are never permanent.

I hear you and can relate, I am Bipolar-II, oldest brother Bipolar-I, not new to this
I understand too, that those around us that do not care to accept that a loved one has a mental disorder, or even learn more about the disorder to help their loved one, is more frustrating.
I think it would be in your best interest to keep in touch with your pdoc about your meds., though I understand different meds and/or dosages work differently for each individual or a percentage of some, it's not always a "one size fits all" sort of thing.
I personally didn't do well with Effexor and/or Depakote, fatigued me so badly I fell asleep at the wheel 3 times while on that treatment. Switched meds. and over brief time it all came together, yes, progress is possible.
When we are unstable, we do not "see" ourselves that way, that is the slyness of this disorder. After DX, I felt like I'd never get back on track, but in time with following pdoc's treatment plan and keeping him up to date with any changes, things progressed. Unfortunately to this day, my husband has no idea what hell it can be, to walk in the shoes of a bipolar. I kind of gave up expecting him to understand, I just got more depressed and agitated at times, talk therapy with a mental health professional was a better option.
Check in with your pdoc, discuss other medications that may be more for you, usually can get an idea after the first 3 weeks if the medication(s) are taking effect, in a positive or negative way. At that point, a doc will look at dosages, if not right adjustment or discontinuing and starting a new one may be a new option.
Keep faith, things have a way of working out, this I have learned. Odd for me to say that, I was a person that had no or little faith in life, things changed, time passed and somehow I found it.
PLease feel free to drop in and chat with us, post, or just read our forums. There are so many warm, compassionate, members here that you shall meet.
Take care now,
DE


(((((((((( MentalPollution ))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks Maverick. Just to let you know, I am feeling better for the moment. My meds have been changed from Serouel to Geodon then back to Seroquel. So, I think all of that probably had quite an impact on my state of mind. Thank you for your kind words. It's amazing how someone's kindness can really lift you up, ya know?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MentalPollution}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
so happy your feeling better for now....enjoy these days and embrace them....
take care
~~~Hope~~~

{{{{{{{DarkEyes}}}}}}}} Thanks so much. It is very hard accepting myself as this person that I am. I still have alot to learn and a long way to go. But I am really trying to get it together. Like you said, it's not easy. I am honestly trying though. It's just nice to know that there are other people in this world that can relate to me and how I feel. Sometimes it's pure hell. I read on a website once about bipolar and someone described it as "Living with Jesus and Lucifer inside"... and sometimes I believe it's very much like that. Again, thank you for being so nice. I come here often to read what others have to say, and it helps me very much.

{{{{{{{Hope}}}}}} Thanks I hope you are feeling ok also! I take advantage of these good days!

You're welcome, seems there is a lot of support here from a lot of those who can relate! (Hey, I was born in Tennessee! My dad lives in Nashville)

Maverick,
Really?? You were born here in Tn? Wow. lol I am about 2 hours away from Nashville.. in Chattanooga.