Numb

I was having a perfectly fine and good day, hanging with my best friend and her family, but it was like as soon as I had to go home my mood started declining, I had the same problem last night. I don't want to be home, but the thing is there are no problems with my family or anything. They're loving and supporting in just about everything (they dislike my attitude about school, but its understandable...). Yet I don't want to be here, I feel trapped and like I want to run away from everything. I'm overwhelmed by the thought of school starting up again on Monday (just getting back from vacation). But more than anything else I feel numb, I have no motivation to do anything but leave but I have no where to go. No where that I should go. I feel like the only thing holding me here right now is a safe place to sleep...

So this turned into a bit of a vent post and I don't know how posting this will help, but hey here you go. <3

((Trigger icon just in case))

Sometimes you need somewhere to just vent and PC is a great place to do that where people can generally understand and sympathize with what you are going through. I am sorry you are feeling down and overwhelmed. I can certainly relate to the feeling of lacking motivation. Are you seeing anyone professionally? Such a therapist? It might help to talk about some of these feelings and thoughts you are having.

We empathize. Being no where is not option as you know. Probably one of the best solutions is create a safe place for you there. Something that you can claim as just yours. Then try feel safe in it. Easier said then done, but sometimes its all it is.

I am sorry that you are struggling. Writing is definitely a great way to deal with your feelings, so keep posting! I agree with the advice above that it would be good if you could create your own safe place at home; somewhere that you can escape to.
Know taht this feeling will pass and take one day at a time. Excercising or taking a walk sometimes gives me a little extra pep when I am lacking motivation. Take care of yourself.

Thanks so much everyone for the support. I am indeed talking to someone, and I'm slowly beginning to trust her more and more to the point where I can tell her absolutely everything... I'll try to find someplace I feel comfortable in my house or a friends house...I've run away before but as I had no plan or anything I ended up back home that night. Thankfully I've gotten to the point where I understand running away is not an option. A couple of nights ago I actually ran because I wanted so badly to run away from everything...I didn't run away I simply ran around the neighborhood. Once again thanks for everyone's support and advice <3

A place to go in your own home doesn't have to be a physical space. Even if you do leave there is a pretty good chance your feelings are going to go with you. When I lived at home I escaped by reading, drawing and generally messy art projects. Do you have a creative outlet?

I know the trapped feeling VERY well; in fact it is something I still struggle with years later...I wish I'd been in therapy when I was in school, some of these issues might have been resolved sooner in my life! I do wish you the best, and feel free to pm me anytime if you need to chat. Take care and I hope things go well in school!

Since I'm new, I don't understand the controls here & "multi-quote" didn't seem like the right button...Anyway, I totally agree with Eloise42 (Go ahead & laugh at the noob) with the creative outlet & messy art projects. If you are not the artsy-type, you may find that if you go for it, you'll love playing around with paint or doodling even. That was the best way for me to cope with my mood swings or "feeling trapped"...especially anxiety. It's such a great way to get your feelings & emotions out...as if you are drawing your angry & painting your anxiety.