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#1
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So, I was officially dxd as BP II on Friday...
![]() Neutral=neither up, nor very down, about the actual label but quite confused emotionally about the road ahead... Friday was quite overwhelming, as I'm sure most of you are personally aware, but "BF" went out of his way to show me a good time and offer some friendly re-assurance and support. ( I told him straight after my appt. and he came to pick me up...) ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You know, being on PC so long before the actual dx, has taught me that logically ![]() I know I shouldn't, but I feel HOPELESS. ![]() ![]() I'm sO sorry to have rambled like that, but you guys know I have no other outlet for this mess in my head... I think of you guys, and tears fill my eyes...How you've been dealing with BP, life, and all the trimmings, how you support each other in times of need, how every battle you've won is a major VICTORY, how even when you stumble, you get up and continue...I'm so immensely proud of ALL of you, ![]() ![]() I'm not sad, really, like I'm not bawling my eyes out or anything, I'm NOT suicidal, so please don't freak out with worry. I just feel like giving up, as right now, I don't see ANY reward... ![]() Sorry if this post depresses anybody, you guys know I love you and will never set you off intentionally. I'm so proud of all of you who are able to "deal"... Much love to ALL at PC ![]()
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![]() DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD ![]() Last edited by Trippin2.0; Jun 07, 2010 at 03:50 AM. Reason: Explajnation |
#2
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I am also diagnosed with BP II. Maybe we can go through it together somehow. I feel like I related to you on almost everything you said except the having a child part. I don't have a child, and all the stuff I go through makes me think I should never have one.
Send me a message! We'll work together. I'm still trying to figure things out too ![]()
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![]() Trippin2.0
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#3
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Hey Trippin!
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. All I can offer you right now is support and a little insight into some of the things you are feeling (Isn't it strange how when you feel mixed or neutral it's so much easier to think of things logically and leave the emotions behind?) I think you've had a good while on here, and learnt a lot from people to give you some insight into the rollercoaster. Now however, you do have meds on your side. I'd recommend keeping a journal to note physical as well as emotional feelings, especially while trying to monitor any side-effects. There really is no need to feel hopeless - there are plenty of us like you!! And a great portion of us keep families, jobs, happiness... Remember - you have never had the priviledge of meds to help you feel better. I don't think you need to worry too much about your life needing to change - any necessary changes are generally positive e.g. try drink in mild moderation or not all; keep a structured day, remove stressors and triggers from your life... I too am emotionally needy, and this is the main reason I am hoping to go to therapy one day. My mother thinks a lot like you, but when I was hospitalised and she was notified, she didn't have much of an option but to deal with it. Hang in there - we are here for you! |
![]() Trippin2.0
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#4
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(((trippin))) hang in there girl! We love you too and have been where your at now. Just take one day at a time or even one minute at a time and know that your not alone! Im not supposed to be on here so I have to be quick... lol...
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![]() Trippin2.0
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#5
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Trippin2.0! read you now!
I wish I could make you feel better by saying: so at least you know. at least the label is there. so what? remember - what's normal after all and what isn't? at least you know and don't need to go through life with the doubt... I understand it is hard, for i' m in search of the diagnosis too. my doctor gives me lithium but doesn't want to call things by their name. i am taking all BD medicines availble (little exagerated) but have no diagnosis. all you wrote are thoughts also passing through my mind. the genetics, the origin of this, the curse, and thoughts like would it have been any different if....? But never forget how far you came. you raise a daughter, alone, you work, you are here and write and rel8 to others... so you CAN rely on yourself. you ARE strobng enought to take and do this, and you WILL be strong enought to get through this. and we are all here to share this with you and walk through there together. yu are absolutely not alone in this. thinking of you xx
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![]() Trippin2.0
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