[allme]

Hi all,

I hate to admit it but I think I am mildly depressed feelings of guilt, sadness and lack of energy have hit me today but am trying to keep it under control... if that's even possible.

I have a situation going on at the moment which isn't helping. Last friday me and hubby went to a friends house for a drink. There's a group of us (3 couples) and we do everything together. Anyway, one of the couples we see have been a bit odd with us (me and hubby) mainly the guy. My hubby has been arguing with him alot and having alot of tiffs. Anyway... that night my hubby went home b4 me (he doesnt drink) and it ended up that the guy hubby has been falling out with walked me half way home... on the way home he hd a go at me, telling me how badly I have treated his girlfriend for the past 2 years and how my illness is no excuse and doesnt care about my illness but only how it has affected his gf. Ok fair enough but do you have to make me feel like complete trash. So now it has made things really awkward for our group of friends. The girl, who I am supposed to be bad to has invited the the girl from the other couple to an event tomorrow night pasted it all over facebook and is blanking me .... its really making me feel like complete crap and also very angry. I must be honest... I have never really liked her that much as she is very immature and is spoilt but tried as it was her boyfriend me and hubby were first friends with.

I just dont know what to do.... I just feel like crying and hate myself over it all. my hubby has already sat them down for me and explained not to take things personal if I seem distant or not very chatty..... I guess it really isnt her problem though..... and it really doesnt help that we have never been able to relate to eachother.

Originally Posted by allme

... my hubby has already sat them down for me and explained not to take things personal if I seem distant or not very chatty..... I guess it really isnt her problem though..... and it really doesnt help that we have never been able to relate to eachother.

Hmmmm. I don't know. You say guess it isn't really her problem though, and maybe I'm reading this wrongly, but I think it _is_. How's *that* work? *She's* allowed to have an issue about how's she's treated, but *you're* not???!!! I think your instincts are right. She sounds immature and bratty. And that's _her_ problem, not yours. No sense in beating yourself up over the fact that she seems to think that the universe revolves only around her feelings, right? Your feeling bad won't change that in her, she has to do it herself.
to you, it's still not a pleasant situation to be in.

Sorry this is happening, allme.

[Lauru]

Sorry you're going through this. But perhaps the problem is her and not you. She may not have an "illness" but that doesn't mean she isn't spoiled, bratty. I think you deserve better than be treated like that.

[sanityseeker]

Dear allme, I am so sorry you are feeling this pain. No surprise it has flipped your mood into a place of sadness. I pray somehow it can be resolved between you all. Please try not to feel badly about yourself. This is her problem not yours. Seems to me the boyfriend with whom you have had the longer relationship is the one on the spot to work this out. Him putting the blame all on you is totally not fair. Her immaturity is showing. Their relationship is sounding a little rocky to me. Sounds like they are avoiding a bigger issue and using you to avoid it.

Give it time. Don't own her stuff and refuse to let it get you down. I know. Easier said then done but it really is a waste of valueable energy to beat yourself up about something that has nothing to do with you. No one is perfect but don't add insult to injury by owning something that doesn't belong to you.

Give a big hug to hubby for standing up for you and hang on to each other while this storm passes. This too shall pass. Don't let this little girl bring you down. Pick yourself up and let her self distruct all by herself.

[BlackPup]

sanity seeker....
She is responsible for how she responds. Hang on to those who are good for you and don't waste time and effort with those that are bad. When you are feeling bad about it, think how much your hubby loves you, that is more important than some skanky b#$%*h's opinion. Some people have an amazing ability to say or do exactly the wrong thing (mainly coz they are completely selfcentred)...

I am sure that with time everything will be ok.

[bmx35]

Dear Allme...don't take that woman seriously...She exhausts you so better stay away from her for the sake of your well-being. We just have to accept that there are people who will just harm our well-being. In your case, it is her. Don't waste your energies on her instead focus on those persons who sincerely cares for you. Take care okay...