[kahina]

I'm not an old hat at this though I have been depressive for a few years now. On antidepressants and have elevations of the meds occasionally . Now I'm told Bipolar is my attachment though symptoms are all there is to go on .I'm learning what I can on my own when I can focus and find life is waiting in front of the TV and feeling alone. Meds for certain parts of the brain functions are hit and miss . My only way to get by seems to shut down everything that I did or thought about doing as to not be more depressed . I have the 'luxury' of my kids are grown and the 'spouse ' is financial support . But ALONE is a big down ...I find the sleep a big desire ...if not for my cats and dogs being my daily responsibility . I do take new meds as of recent as in pristiq and seroquel XR and I'm in the holding pattern ...waiting . Deplin is one I 've taken for a while now and I still feel down . Usually by this point I've erased my post...have many times . I've stopped trying to have a 'life' so I don't feel the stress of the work of doing so. I just miss enjoying life even if I'm alone doing it .

[bridgie]

sorry you are feeling alone. Hopefully the new meds give you some relief soon. I'm hoping for a better day. I hope you have one as well.

I'm sorry too that you're feeling so alone. Been there, especially of late. Moved, and though I really like the place and am very glad of the move, I don't know anyone here aside from my BF, and as wonderfully sweet as he is, still... Please try not to erase your posts, ok? I find that interacting here is a big help in feeling connected, not so lonely and that it is with people who understand, so that is a real bonus.

As an aside, I don't have tv anymore and haven't for a couple of years.(Yes, there is one, but it's not connected and it's only for watching DVDs mostly from the library.) Realized that I spent too much time vegging out in front of it, and way more importantly than that, it made me feel bad!!! Being inundated with so much unreality really ate at me, as much as I wanted to think I was immune. It took a long time to realize what was happening. (Have to watch the computer in terms of time though! Lol. Need to take breaks from that too. Being on seems to come in spells though, but I do get a lot more done which also helps distract from the loneliness thing.)

This is not about me though. It's simply to keep it in "I" terms to say what has helped me that you might find useful.

Btw, welcome to the forums! May you find that your meds help you soon. It can take some time to get it just right, but it is worth it.

[blueoctober]

kahina; I hope the meds start working. Even with my meds being "right" I still can slip into a major depression and yes the joy is sucked out of everything and anything I ever enjoyed. In saying that in the past year I just continue with my routine, doing things that I normally enjoy etc. It's an awful feeling not enjoying anything anymore, but I have found if I don't keep a routine I just spiral down more. Have you considered speaking to a therapist and/or do you?

[kahina]

Thanks to you who have responded to my post and the words of advice . Yes I do see a T and I have been screwy about having to analyze my every emotion of sadness . Realizing that I'm focusing to much on the things I can't do I use TV I guess to break my routine thought pattern and get me through the day. I am believing I'm going through a grief of the possibility that I may not feel well again .' Normally ' I am not the TV type , so I let go of my compulsion to think . Not having the personal support is where I don't see how anyone makes it through this . I find it hard to see others having to live as I am feeling with so much more responsibility . I can't keep learning about a dis-ease that gives me so much to depressed about . How do you keep yourselves going ? I'm just looking at moments and days at a time , and make routine of minimal events as feeding dogs ,taking pills , making myself eat , 20 minutes on a nordic trek ,feeding cats, watching TV, reading some of the post here when I can motivate to . How do you continue the routine of trying to feel better ?

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by kahina

How do you continue the routine of trying to feel better ?

I try to keep my life as structured as possible (I work shift work, so that part I don't have control over), but in the rest of my life I am very structured. I work out regularly, eat properly, get enough sleep and if I'm having issues sleeping I take a sleeping pill, take the meds, surround myself with people who "fill" me up, journal. For me the meds are 60% of managing the illness, but the other 40% is all the other things I do.

When I am depressed I truly just force myself. I know I love being at the stable, so even when I don't want to, I go see my horse. Normally I like working out, so I will force myself if I'm in a depression. I will continue going to work, but in the past I have had to take sick leave when it gets really bad. Simple things like continuing to put on makeup, do my hair etc. because lord knows I don't feel like it when I'm depressed, but it does help pick me up.

Have you considered joining a face to face support group for persons diagnosed in your area?

[dj586858]

Like you, kahina, I am waiting for new meds & new dosages to kick in. I want to do nothing but sleep & watch tv. I work fulltime but I live alone & can go the whole weekend without talking to anyone else. Most of the time that is a relief - no pretending things are great & I am keeping busy. Right now I am so tired of this life.

I hope your meds are the right ones for you, they start working soon & you find your joy. Keep in touch.

[Anneinside]

Having a routine really helps me. I don't work now but I do volunteer. Monday through Friday I get up every day and go to a diner for breakfast at $4.77 a day. It is well worth it as it gets me going. I spend some time there, talking to people and reading. Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I volunteer at a charity that refurbishes computers for people with low incomes. Wednesdays I take a friend with me to an art class at a social club for people with "serious and persistent" mental illness, as it is stated. Usually twice a week I spend the evening at a friend's house. I like having the weekend at home with the dogs, quiet and involved in chores (a little), tv and extended computer time. When my routine is interrupted I find I have more problems with life and bipolar. (I also try to go to bed at about the same time every night.)

[kahina]

I'll have to look into a group therapy if there is one, thanks . I'll see if my T knows of one .

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by kahina

I'll have to look into a group therapy if there is one, thanks . I'll see if my T knows of one .

You can also speak to your local psychiatric hospital or do a search online. The search online can be mood disorder support group, where you live or bipolar support group, where you live. In my experience a support group lead by mental health professional(s) tend to be more beneficial. If you live in the US DBSA has a list of support groups http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...rt_findsupport

NAMI also has local chapters: http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?sec...our_Local_Nami