new meds.........very depressed

i have hardly left my bedroom for the last three weeks. it has been all i could do to feed the pets. this is as bad, as i've been in ages. this a.m., i had appt with Pdoc. she changed my meds. took me off depakote, increased lamictal and prozac and added wellbutrin. all i want to do now is go back to bed. i have tons of house cleaning and laundry to do.

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way Pat. (but most impressed that you can offer others so much support during your own struggle)

As you know, med change will take a while to kick in. Try to be kind to yourself during this transition.

Hoping for a speedy change.

Petunia

((fayerody))) it stinks that it will take time for this new cocktail to take effect.

it sounds good that you and your pdoc communicate and changes were made.

which wellbutrin was added and what amount? for most it is activating but for some it can add to sedation. fingers crossed for some ooomph to start soon.

bummed to read this not having known how yucky things were getting for you.

sending you the laundry fairy in thought. do you need the dish fairy too?

it is the plain wellbutrin. not the xl. i need every fairy that can be mustered up. the dishes, the floors, the carpet, etc.

my Pdoc got a fabulous job and will be leaving. she is now going to be the Director of the Psych and Psychology Dept at the OU School of Medicine....i'm thrilled for her and sad for me. i love her. she gave me all of her phone numbers and room number and such..so i can call or go see her.

i am now going to get flea meds for pets. fleas are back. it's been so humid here that the little bastards have been breeding like whatever breeds fast....oh, it's rabbits.

Petunia, thank you for your kind words. the reason that i tried to stay supportive is that it takes me out of my head and into my heart, when i help others. when we are depressed, we're in our heads too much. i just hope that i helped someone and didn't do something stupid.

please stay in touch with me...i need it....xoxo pat

welbutrin at 150 and she said i would probably go to 300..took me off the fattening depakote.

Incoming fairies.



Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather

awwwww, they're so cute.

Pat, why didn't you say anything? Here you've had mega sized shoulders for me and I had no idea you were so down.

I'm so unobservant.

the fairy arrived.....she's down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor.

shirley, you have a full plate right now. you have the ________of the year, to deal with.

i did go to the dollar store and get a few things. that was mind-altering. it's unreal how much stuff those stores have.

the fairy arrived.....she's down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor.

Psst, Pat. I think they call that hallucinations

Petunia

darn, i was so pleased.

Maybe I could brush your kitchen floor with my fur?
So sorry things are so rough for you, I didn't know either

Healing thoughts and grrrr at the bipolar basement,
Fuzzy

thank you........my troubles are really insignificant, compared to the hurricane victims. i'm trying to keep my perspective today. i got up early and have started on the dishes. then i'm going to vacumn.

Hullo Pat,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through all this. I can truly sympathize, luv. My pdoc just retired and referred me to a new pdoc, with whom the personal chemistry isn't precisely brilliant -- but I'm willing to give him some time. My new pdoc, despite promising to my now-retired old pdoc that he wouldn't, radically changed all my meds during the second session. There was no discussion about it, which is what I'd been used to -- it was dictatorial. So suddenly I found myself on off-label use taking Gabitril. I did some research, and discovered that while some tests (almost all by the big pharma manufacturer) indicate that it may help anxiety, the FDA itself has been issuing repeated admonitions AGAINST such off-label use (the bloody stuff is actually supposed to be used ONLY by epileptics). Tests have shown that Gabitril can actually INDUCE seizures and convulsions in people like me who have never had them before. The FDA even required the manufacturer to place a LARGE warning on the label earlier this year about the danger. I informed the new pdoc about this, and he was dumbfounded. I showed him printouts of my online research and of journal articles. It took me about 15-20 minutes online to find all this out -- and this bloke has a sodding medical degree?? Strewth! I told him I refused to take it because of the danger, and that he was courting a massive malpractice suit by continuing to give Gabitril to other bipolar and depressed patients despite the FDA's explicit warning not to do this. For the FDA to issue such a warning, the possibility of non-epileptic psychiatric patients suffering a seizure must be fairly severe -- let's face it, the FDA is mostly a paper tiger in the pocket of big pharma (they're the people who greenlighted Vioxx, after all, among other things). So after much wrangling, I'm back to my original antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds and mood stabilizers. Jesus wept! The ignorance of the man! I went into a suicidal depression and a near hospitalization because of his ill-advised med change!I'm sorry you have been put through a similar wringer, Pat, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I simply don't understand the psychiatric profession sometimes. It really leaves me gobsmacked. Cheshire Cat

oh, Cat, i'm so sorry that you were put through such an ordeal. i'm worried that the new Pdoc may want to tweak my meds. dr. boyer told me yesterday, that i am my own best doctor and to tell the new guy that i know my head better than anyone else. her telling me that was very empowering. we always discussed everything concerning my mental health.

i've washed some dishes and am cooking brown rice for my breakfast. this is a big improvement over not eating anything. the dsl tech is supposed to come. i was all freaked out about the house and friedgreymatter put it in perspective for me. he said, "it's just the dsl man".....not like it's my sisters!!!!!

I am sorry you are depressed Pat..

Good for you for getting some things done. I know it can be hard.

Pat at the dollar store get a bunch of kids party paper plates and cup and forks for ourself so you wont have to do the dishes whenits too much . . .just an idea for a break in primary colors. .

KA, that is a wonderful idea. cheerful and disposable.

ain't ka clever?

how's that basement today?

thinking of you and hoping the meds kick in quickly.

tired phrase but so true: this too shall pass.

(((fayerody))))

i went and fed my daughter's pets. had to make myself go. then went to eat..i actually went into a cafe and ate...and then two dollar stores to get toys for the hurricane victim's children that are here.

Glad you went out and ate, did it give you a bit of a boost? And I bet getting toys for the dear ones was invigorating!

had to go get refills today......had to. understand that blah of the have tos.

eating in a cafe can be a good thing and glad you were out and about.

was on the phone with the friend in TX when reading your post about getting toys and the employees donation of money and he was thrilled to hear of your initiative and the spirit of the dollar store employees. He thinks you okies are some of the best of the nation as all of your hearts were broken with your federal bldg. Y'all know how to provide relief.

toys. for the children. and you sent money for the animals.

tears sweetie........reduced to tears when reading all you're doing.

and you call this basement???

Pat

it did give me a boost to buy the toys. i ran out of "gas" though and was dragging by the time i got home. then the dogs are always so glad to see me and that always cheers me up. can't sleep........guess i can read.......

Hi Pat,

I've been going through med changes recently, including some that were addictive, so I know you are not at a "happy" stage right now. Please be patient with yourself. Sleep a lot if that's what you need. If you can manage to do one load of laundry, that's great. Sort through it and see what you need to have and let the rest go if necessary. The chores will still be there when you feel better. If you can manage to dust one thing, cool, if not, a little dust won't hurt anything.

See if you can manage to get to the store and get paper plates and throw away spoons and forks. Buy some food you can cook in the microwave or get snacks and eat sandwiches.

Just concentrate on taking care of the pets and on taking care of you. The rest can wait except for the laundry. Your meds will kick in soon. Hang on. Hope comes with the dawn. Always.

Hugs,

Jan

Disposable plates and utensils can be a godsend. Sometimes your personal well being just has to come before the environment. (sounds horrible, I know).

I picked up a generic version of a George Foreman grill and that thing is awesome. $7 at Family Dollar. It makes a mean grilled turkey and swiss, and cleanup is wiping the surface with a paper towel while it's still slightly warm so the food doesn't get stuck on. Quick and easy comfort food.

I haven't hired the appliance man to come replace the dryer belt because my house is messy. I have to stress the whole family out by not being able to have clothes washed and dried in an hour. Instead, it's a trip to the laundromat to dry things (The kids can't stand crispy, air-dried clothes, especially socks and towels). $50, a few minutes of embarrassment because of a sink full of dishes and crumbs on the floor, and I could have a dryer again, but nooooooo. I know all too well how you must be feeling about the DSL guy. (What happened to our joint effort a few months ago of super decluttering? So much for our good intentions, huh?)