[blueoctober]

OMG I am so bad I'm annoying myself. I am working nights until Sunday and that tends to screw with my mood as it is, but I also have my period, sorry TMI. I feel so sorry for my co-workers because I am in just a totally bad mood. We usually all go out for dinner together, but for the past 2 nights I have gone home for dinner. I just can't be around them because they are annoying me......I know it's so rude of me, but this is how I feel.

We have a new female inspector very young, pretty etc. and watching our male inspectors (all married) flirt with her makes me want to vomit. To add to it she is flirting her aXX off. I am ready to punch her......okay this needs to stop. Any suggestions on how to turn this mood around? I am stuck with all 8 of them all night and I am about to loose my sxxx!

[PT52]

wear your FDB t-shirt...
put a "kick me" sign on the bimbo's back...
scream and yell and throw a hissy fit then stop and say "Just kidding!"...

[larakeziah]

i don't suppose this is much use to you but when i'm having a bad day at work or when i'm at home even, i try and think of something that will cheer me. Like somethin i can do the followin day or when i finish work and then i have somethin to look forward to and i also tell myself if i'm workin that it'll soon be home time and even if its a long way off the good thing is that home time will come eventually, and i know i won't be stuck there forever! I hope you can find something to cheer you up. Sendin hugs and cheery thoughts your way

Originally Posted by blueoctober

OMG I am so bad I'm annoying myself. ..I just can't be around them because they are annoying me......I know it's so rude of me, but this is how I feel.

For trying to come down a bit... If I can manage it, I try to do something that is pleasant and very importantly, something highly unlikely to cause any frustrations. Because experience has taught again and again (etc. to infinity... ) that when the least glitch comes, I will go off. Not good.

As far as not wanting to go out because people are annoying you... it's not rude. It's doing what you need to for yourself. When I get like this, I think of it as a "self quarantine"... for their sake and mine. As this tends to be a very agitated state, I find it gives me a bit more space and keeps me from the regret of exploding at someone, or wreaking havoc on things.

(And hear ya on the annoying oneself... many's the night I go to bed, not because I'm tired, but because I just can't deal with myself one more minute that day.)

Hope you are feeling better soon, blueoctober...

[sundog]

Loving PT's suggestions!!

Sorry you're in a bad mood and stuck with these people who are only making it worse. I agree with Innerzone that it's not rude to go home for dinner if that's what you need to do. And if anyone takes it as rude, well, that's really their problem, not yours! I think it's very smart to take some time for yourself if you're feeling stressed.

I am quite often extremely irritable and I definitely have some anger issues. One thing that helps me is exercising hard. I go running and that is a good way to use up some of my anger energy. Plus the "high" I get right afterwards puts me in a great mood and nothing and no one annoys me for at least half an hour!!!

Hope you get through the upcoming nights ok and that you're able to keep taking time for yourself. Will you be able to spend some time with Fi during the day? Hope so because I know you've said that has a very calming effect on you!

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by sundog

I am quite often extremely irritable and I definitely have some anger issues. One thing that helps me is exercising hard. I go running and that is a good way to use up some of my anger energy. Plus the "high" I get right afterwards puts me in a great mood and nothing and no one annoys me for at least half an hour!!!

LOL yes I had the BEST workout this morning because I was annoyed at them last night too! I totally agree working out is the best thing for me. The bimbo got worse through the night holy fxxx I so wish she wasn't transferred to our department. She is as dumb as a post, BUT also thinks she knows everything. I so hope I am not paired with her to work out in the field because I may just push her out of my car halfway through the shift.

I did go see Fi in the day and he sooo calms me down, but I've been having really crappy sleeps the past couple nights, so I will probably just go to the gym and try to take it easy for the rest of the day. My shift tomorrow is 8pm-4am oh boy!

As you can read I am still angry, but I appreciate all your comments and Innerzone you're right it's not rude, it's self care and protection for my co-workers

Thanks again everyone!

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by PT52

wear your FDB t-shirt...put a "kick me" sign on the bimbo's back...scream and yell and throw a hissy fit then stop and say "Just kidding!"...

LOL I so would have enjoyed doing that tonight!

[eskielover]

Any suggestions on how to turn this mood around?

Go ride a horse & distance yourself from that mess for awhile. It won't look any better when you get back, but at least you will have fun distancing yourself from all that crap.

[lonegael]

You know, the bimbo probably gets worse as she gets tired, like a toddler. we all do that. Lord knows, I can kick myslef into a hypomania anywhere in my cycle just by getting myself tired enough. Probably drags the guys with her. I find that if I can look at people's behavior like that, I can keep myself from getting as annoyed. Tired people act wierd. Hope it works for you. Self quarantine is also a wonderful idea. Keeps head on top of shoulders like they are supposed to be! HUGGGSSSSS!

[BlackPup]

Almost there!!!!
Totally agree with innerzone (agree with the other's too!) if you need to get away you need to get away... otherwise u might really do or say something rude! I've learnt to trust myself when I need to escape...

[blueoctober]

Thanks everyone I'm feeling much better this morning. I am upset with myself that I wasn't controlling my anger for the past couple days. I have been under a lot of work and financial stress lately, add night shifts, sprinkle in some boneheads and voila you get a very bxxxxy Beth!

I am so embarrassed because yesterday I snapped on a starbuck's clerk and said well isn't that f'in super......but I didn't say f'in I said the actual word. She totally didn't deserve it and I feel like a complete aXX.

I see a new therapist on Tuesday, so hopefully she can help me add to my set of coping skills, because right now I'm not doing so great. Thanks again PC family you are the best!

[Laurie1041]

Dear BlueOctober,

One thing that I would like to mention is that shift work and bipolar disorder are a ghastly combination. My pdoc said I could not ever work night shift again, without risking a relapse. Is there any way that you could change shifts? I noticed that my moods started becoming more even and predictable when I stopped working nights.

I think it's great that you are going to see a new T! My recovery really began when I started working with my current T. I see her as my mentor which means that I have deep respect and trust in her methodologies.

Our sessions have direction; that is, they are building blocks towards one principal goal, that being Wellness. I have weekly "homework" that acts as a catalyst toward finding creative ways to develop, monitor, and quantify my perceptions of wellness and recovery. I am no longer in the place I was before which was "I have bipolar disorder, I have no mood stability, I have lost all my strengths and qualities, I don't know how to cope with life's curve balls".

Today, it's about eating nutritiously (I am trying), getting sufficient sleep (some issues here related to menopause), monitoring my physical health, taking my meds as directed, doing something for others, and finding out what my passion in life is.

One last thing that has saved my butt when I became irritable at work; don't ever say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want printed on the front of the LA Times. I would put on one of my best (fake) smiles and try to keep some distance between myself and whoever was my target for the evening. Many Hugs, Laurie

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by Laurie1041

One thing that I would like to mention is that shift work and bipolar disorder are a ghastly combination. My pdoc said I could not ever work night shift again, without risking a relapse. Is there any way that you could change shifts? I noticed that my moods started becoming more even and predictable when I stopped working nights.

Thanks Laurie I totally agree that shift work isn't ideal for someone with BP. My p-doc agrees and after my diagnosis/medical leave I had to convince her to sign off on permission to work shift.

I LOVE my job. The parts of my job I like is the variety and my favorite part of my job duties are done on night shift (I'm an Inspector with the Gaming and Liquor Commission). I have been back on shift since 2008. At this point I'm not willing to give up my position and it's the one thing that I feel my diagnosis hasn't taken away.......I know dramatic, but for me it's the truth.

I appreciate your input and I'm not disagreeing with your point and later on in my career I may decide the risk isn't worth being happy in a job. I will also note the field I'm in, educational background, the majority of the positions (that pay decently) are all shift work unless one wants a desk job, manager/supervisor position. That doesn't interest me. I can't stand being in the office all day.

[sundog]

I'm so glad you're feeling better this morning. And it's great you've been to the gym and had some "therapy" with Fi

I SO hear you about snapping at people and then feeling like crap afterwards. I do that too. I swear like a trooper. But try and go easy on yourself because you're obviously under a lot of stress, you're not sleeping well, you're working shifts and you're having to work with some really irritating people right now!!! That is enough to make anyone behave *****ily!!!!! And at least you realize this is a problem right now and you're seeking ways to manage the stress and anger more effectively. You're doing everything you can and that is great!!! Good luck with your new T on Tuesday!

[blueoctober]

Thanks sundog!! I just had a total melt down on the phone with one of my friends from work. I totally balled my eyes out, but I do feel a bit better about it. She was very empathetic.....and also agrees that the people I was working with this weekend are idiots!

[laur88]

Uggg I hate people like that woman you're talking about - so annoying! That would make me angry too! Then I take it out on my poor roommate... But she takes her annoyance out on me so I guess we're equal haha! Venting to a person who works with you (or, in my case goes to school with me) is always really helpful!

Glad you're feeling better today!

Originally Posted by blueoctober

Thanks Laurie I totally agree that shift work isn't ideal for someone with BP. ... At this point I'm not willing to give up my position and it's the one thing that I feel my diagnosis hasn't taken away.......I know dramatic, but for me it's the truth....I appreciate your input and I'm not disagreeing with your point and later on in my career I may decide the risk isn't worth being happy in a job.

Yes. Kudos to you for being able to do it. Thought I could, and turned out I couldn't, though I do miss some aspects of it (mainly that it is much mellower.. that part was very very good BP-wise... 'twas the sleep thing that got me). Everything is a balancing act, and we just have to judge when one aspect outweighs another. Totally agree. Yup.

Originally Posted by sundog

I swear like a trooper.

Hehehe! Me too! When I'm P.O'd or going off, stand back! Otherwise, take pride in an extensive vocab and ability to use it. Somehow, in those moments though...

Don't know if it's any help, blueoctober, but bimbos just make me roll my eyes and say "Pffft! Whatever. Moron." They are sad, really. How sad to have nothing than a pre-packaged stereotype to offer. Interesting people are much much more... well.... interesting! And think of this. Time is cruel to bimbos. There's really only so long one can play that card. Better a well-rounded person...well, let's face it, a personality, in the long run(!) And that, my sweet Beth, you have in spades!

(Still, pushing her out of a car... I dunno, is that a bad thing?! Teehee.)

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Don't know if it's any help, blueoctober, but bimbos just make me roll my eyes and say "Pffft! Whatever. Moron." They are sad, really. How sad to have nothing than a pre-packaged stereotype to offer. Interesting people are much much more... well.... interesting! And think of this. Time is cruel to bimbos. There's really only so long one can play that card. Better a well-rounded person...well, let's face it, a personality, in the long run(!) And that, my sweet Beth, you have in spades!

Thanks innerzone so sweet of you! Yes you are right I'll steal Judge Judy's line: "Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever."

[PT52]

Originally Posted by blueoctober

Thanks sundog!! I just had a total melt down on the phone with one of my friends from work. I totally balled my eyes out, but I do feel a bit better about it. She was very empathetic.....and also agrees that the people I was working with this weekend are idiots!

You know, I was terrified of the BP label, but I realize now I've had the symptoms for years and everyone thought I was just a drama queen! I used to have meltdowns like that all the time!

[sugahorse1]

Excuse the ignorance - who/what is "Fi"?

I have those days too, and only have 3 options to get through them.
1. Go visit my horse. Just to get out. We know by now there is something about horses that really helps.
2. I take Klonopin as needed - it numbs the reality
3. Sleep - it always seems better when I wake up.

Hope things are looking up for you; don't be so hard on yourself. I know when I'm crabby that everyone else bears the brunt of it, but I'm sure you are trying your best to remain level!

[WendyAussie]

I just pissed myself laughing when you said, "She is as dumb as a post". He He.

I've got the shits big time too and it's totally due to lack of sleep. Any day I haven't slept well is bascially a write off and I'm not even working like you are. I don't have much trouble with people I come across in my day - my grumpy heads are about people not even in my life anymore and won't be - and even people who are dead. Geeeez I hate it when my head is like that.

But my best hope is always that there is a better night's sleep coming soon and Boy when that happens, I wake up with light coming out of every orifice!! lol But I still get very tired by the end of the day as I'm in the process of buying myself a little place in another town and all the moving house scenario without anyone to help me. And moving house alone, let alone buying one, is right on the top of the stress life indicators and stress "nornies", let alone a Beeper with various other illnesses.

So I guess all I can say is, you have a Fellow Traveller over here in Aus.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

who/what is "Fi"?

Fi (Fiero) is my horse