[larakeziah]

The last 3 weeks i've been really depressed and didn't get out of bed much, all i wanted to do was sleep and hide out in my bedroom. Now i feel really strange. I'm tired but i can't sleep i haven't slept properly all week. Around 3 hrs a night. I feel really empty and numb. I don't feel anythin for anyone and i'm really anxious and agitated. I jus feel odd and i'm not sure why? Its like i've got no emotion or anythin i can't really explain. I'm a little confused and concerned i may hurt myself!

[vs tyrant]

If you're concerned that you might hurt yourself then you need to get to a mental health hospital or an emergency room asap.

I went through that same stage just before I was admitted (thoguh I was more of a danger to other people than to myself), and being admitted saved my life and probably others.

[RyuB]

wow, that's pretty much exactly how i feel right now. and they are not really normal to me

i suffer from bipolar, depression, and anxiety. perhaps you should consider being checked for these 3 things?

[wing]

Have you ever heard of a "mixed" episode? It feels like your emotions are in a blender. I get them, and they are far worse than a hypomania or depression. Sorta combines the worst of both worlds. You might be experiencing one. They are difficult to treat. My meds keep me stable except for those, so i just ride them out. During these episodes, I have passive SI, but if you've got a plan to hurt yourself, please tell somebody.

[larakeziah]

Thank you for all your replies. I've always suffered with depression and then last year i was diagnosed with a mood disorder, which they suspected was bipolar. Then about 2 weeks ago i was officially diagnosed with bipolar and my meds have changed. I'm now on 200mg of seroquel and 40mg of prozac. I had bloods done and an ECG because they are thinkin of puttin me on lithium. I have and appointment with the long term mental health team on november 12 an i guess they'll say whether they gonna put me on lithium or not. I have heard of mixed episodes but don't know much about them to be honest. I have felt this way before but never knew why. I'm still feelin pretty much the same. I did manage to sleep and didn't get up till 4pm this afternoon! I don't know whats going on with me i feel so alone, confused and misunderstood

[sugahorse1]

Be careful of it being a mixed episode. I just try sleep as much as possible. And try not get out of bed. If I'm down, but not tired, I try watch TV and read. The hardest part is accepting that these episodes will come and go - in hindsight it's easy enough to say, but while you're in it, your illness lies to you.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time - I'm here for, as is the rest of PC.

[Amazonmom]

Sounds like some hypomania poking through. The manic end of bipolar doesn't always feel good.... Getting rid of my antidepressant and starting Lithium was great for me. Hope they find something great for you.

[larakeziah]

if i stay in bed all day my friend and her parents, who i live with, jus think i'm bein lazy and can't be bothered helpin out with the house work and stuff. But i can't stand to be around them sometimes. Not jus them, anyone! Even my grandma who is the most important person in my life is starting to irritate me and i'm worried i may snap and hurt someone or myself! I fear i'm losing control!

[vjdragonfly]

If it gets bad enough don't hesitate to get to the ER. I know it may not be something you want to do, but you have to take care of yourself. Be well and I hope you get through this soon.

[larakeziah]

thanks for all the replies and advice. Going to the hospital is not an option at the moment. My friend who's family i live with, their son is gettin married on sat and i'm supposed to be filming it so me being a wreck is not an option this week. I'm tryin so hard not to let them know whats going on with me cos they have enough stress with the wedding without me addin to it! Its jus one big nightmare i can't wake from! I don't think i can hold on much longer!

[BlackPup]

If you can't stay in your room, then maybe escaping to a cafe or park will give you the separation you need to get through this. It is hard being around people when you are like this.

[sugahorse1]

I agree with Blackpup - see if a change of scenery can improve your moods.
Otherwise you need to be honest with yourself: you cannot afford to hurt yourself or others. You need to put YOU first - forget the wedding; and I know how special it is; but look after yourself.
It you need to go to the ER, please do it.
You will be safe there

[larakeziah]

thank you. I know i should be thinkin of myself but i can't not this week! And my friend keeps sayin to me that she hopes i'll behave at the weddin on sat as tho its something i can control! I keep sayin i'll do my best but now i feel under pressure!