my mother may be bipolar

My mother has not been diagnosed with bipolar, but this is my profession and I strongly feel that she is. I feel she has Bipolar II. I love my mother, but sometimes her mood swings drive me absolutely insane. I feel that she uses me and my father as a scapegoat, and not my brother. Maybe it is also because her mother treated her like crap and not her brother. I do not feel that she intentionally means to do this and I know that she loves both of us equally. My mother is easily triggered into her moods. At times, I do not even know or understand what made her so upset. Let me give you an example. I come home most weekends and still have my bedroom at my house. I was placing my bags in my room when she comes in and wants me to move it because of a cat scratching post that was on the floor. I moved it a little and said I do not want to trip over my bags. Lord have mercy that set her off. She said she did not know why she invited me over this weekend and that I never change. Huh??? So I stayed away from her because I knew her mood. Hours later she kept saying that I came home different and slammed her bedroom door. So the next morning she stays in bed for the morning. I just figured she was tired. I asked if she was ok and again she said that I am always starting up and referred back to the freaking scratching box incident. I said I was sorry and left. She wakes up and is still angry. She says I don't know how you are in this field amongst other hurtful things. I said I do not want to fight because I want to celebrate that I got my first official full paycheck. her comment was that it wasn't a big deal and that everyone gets paychecks all the time. I admit that I lost my cool after that because I could not take it anymore. I said this is what depresses me. She kept saying yeah yeah blame it on me. That's another thing. I cannot verballize my feelings, because I am not supposed to feel anything but happiness. Oh and she also said that if it wasn't for me and my brother that she would have killed herself a long time ago. So I am really hurt and wrote her an email. I made sure it wasn't attacking. Jus simply said that I was concerned about her and that I wished she got help. For the rest of the day she spoke a few words to me. She went to bed and in the morning I went to say goodbye to her. She exploded saying that she was the devil and that everything was her fault according to my email. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went back to my house that sunday night and spent the whole ride home crying. How can you deal with your mother when she does not think that there is a prob, when she would not see someone for it, when you can't tell her what she did that upet you, and when you can't verbalize how you are feeling?!!

Hi pv03; my mother is diagnosed with BP and so am I. From your post it sounds more like borderline personality disorder than BP. I'm sorry she treated you so poorly and it's natural to feel hurt. I hope she seeks out help from a Psychiatrist. It's very important for you to take care of yourself and I hope you have supportive friends or other family members.

Wow, I'm so sorry! I am a mother, and I have been awful to my kids also, just plain mean! One of my daughters told me about myself. I went into a very deep depression, but it made me seek treatment AGAIN. My husband also made some comments, which helped push me along the way. Things are better now, not great, but better. Whatever you decide to do, keep an eye on her! I wish you the very best,
Kelli

Shame, I can only imagine what a terrible weekend it must have been for you and how hurt you were.
I don't have any advice on how to further encourage your mother to seek help. Maybe if she carries on voicing her suicidal intentions, your father (Or anyone for that matter) can forcefully take her to a hospital for her own safety, where she will be offered treatment?
Just remember that this is not your mother talking to you in a hurtful manner - it is her undiagnosed illness. As hard as it may be, you cann cannot take offence to what she says; I truely don't believe she means it like that - she is simply ill and really needs help

Hi pv03..it's tough to have a parent who it seems you can't get thru to. I honestly believe one of the best things my kids did for me before I had a diagnosis was to give me lots of space and not try to reason with me when my brain was being unreasonable.

My biological mother most definitely had a mental disorder, but back then there was little understanding of anything less than complete insanity. I spent years trying to help her, including taking her into my home and getting her into an inpatient program..she walked out of there saying she didn't know why she was there in the first place. I ended up cutting off all contact with her to save myself. That was almost twenty years ago. She is still making my brother's life a living hell and she's still denying there is anything wrong with her.

I'm sorry this isn't a story with a happy ending...I guess my point is that maybe taking an emotional break, giving your mom a little space, will help her mind get back to a more reasonable place. If you can make sure she isn't in any imminent danger to herself, it might give both of you a chance to find a common ground.

And please don't feel as if she doesn't love you...in my most horrible times, I never stopped loving my children.

I hope you both find the peace that you need...sending loving, peaceful vibes your way...