im sorry all..just not sure

I just wanted to apologize that it has been prob months since i been here. lots going on and trying to deal with it all. it hasnt all been good but theres been a few parts that has.

i said how i got a new job, jsut it seems that i clash with the manager really bad. oh he erks me so bad some days that i just wanna scream at him. latley ive caught myself arguing with him a lot and i feel the sense to argue. he keeps telling me how i have mental issues nad pretty muchmakes light of it. that irritates me too as i feel that shouldnt be allowed.

and recently ive been waking up with really bad panic attacks and they just dont go away. it sucks so bad. me and my friend well hes a cop guy i know are arguing cuz he thinks i need to go to the hospital and get seen, but i dont want to and now hes threatening that hes going to call and turn me. i dont think im a danger to myself but ti seems like the cycling dont stop. i dunno what to doo..so sick of worrying.

im sorry i havent been here to support you all. and i apologize my thoughts arent better organized. my mind never stops running so...

I'm sorry things are so tough for you. It sounds like you are in a really tough place. Maybe some help, either by seeing you pdoc or therapist or going into hospital may really help you to feel better. Hope you feel more stable and less anxious really soon.

I was having problems with my new supervisor too. Seeing a therapist helped, but in the New Year I decided to have a mind shift about it. It did me no good to get pissed off about him or being snippy with him, so I just constantly remind myself to keep myself in check. I need my job and I'm assuming you do too, so that's probably the route you should go. In the meantime you can start looking for a new position.

Are you currently on medication? If you are it may need to be tweaked or changed?

The anxiousness is only seeming to be getting worse. Yes, I need my job, but do I really need the extra added stress to an already stressful job? My manager I think he is BP also and it just isnt working. I already see myself getting fired. I can feel it which is adding stress to me.

I really cant go to the hospital as Im already in a fight with the insurance company, as they are trying to say this was a pre-existing condition. It probably was/is, but it wasnt diagnosed at that back in the late 90's. It sucks and I hate taking meds, but what can I do.

Are managers allowed to point out that someone has mental problems everyday they go into work?

I'm in the uk and I don't think that they're allowed to tell here. It's always been my Chou e. However people haven't always reacted favourably to knowing either so perhAps he just don't know how to deal with it all.

First, I work in Human Resources and if you are in the US, that's a big NO NO NO to it being acceptable for your manager to telling you you have mental problems and you should report him/her to your HR immediately. I can't see it being ok in any country but I'm only familiar with US law. It isn't right or nice and it sounds like you are being bullied.

Second,
I totally feel your pain - I have a very stressful job and a very tough boss - she doesn't tell me i have mental problems but she is all over me all the time and always changing her mind about stuff - texting me way early in the morning, doesn't give me a chance to catch my breath, and when i say anything to her, she yells at me - i'm a grown woman with a LOT of experience - i don't need this - (I also think my boss might be BP)
but i also need my job, need the money, can't quit and have been having panic attacks on am almost daily basis.

What i've been doing to cope at work is taking things a little bit slower, and writing everything down, which i never had to do before but it's helping. i also try very hard not to argue or question my boss, whether I want to or not - i just take a deep breath and say "yes' or "ok". I keep telling myself it's just a job, it's not personal and i can go home in X amount of hours. If it gets really bad, i excuse myself and go to the ladies room for my panic attack or outside if it's really bad. it's not a perfect plan, but it's what i'm doing till i can figure a way out of this situation.

i really hope it gets better for you soon.

have you a therapist? it could help you learn how to cope and also rid yourself of all this info in your brain, racing mind.

Ive tried all that stuff it just sucks i dunno what to do with him anymore. he makes me just cry and hes horrible. no i dont have a therapist..they told me i was bp i left and never went bck. it sucks.

Hi and welcome back!

I have issues with my manager and colleagues too - it's hard to keep yourself in check, but it's imperative.

I would suggest a T - they can teach you coping skills and have really been a life-saver for me

So if you never went back after you were told you were BP, does that mean you aren't on any meds? That could make a huge difference.

Also, jadedmoonbeam is absolutely right about your manager. Have you told him your bipolar? Also, does he treat other employees the same way he treats you?

If you are in the U.S., you have legal protection from that kind of treatment as long as you've told your employer that you're BP, even if you quit because it's too much to take. I strongly recommend documenting everything he says or does that proves he is treating you so badly. It's important if you need to file a civil rights complaint against your employer. And from what you've said, you might have grounds to file a complaint now.

Iam sorry you are going through this it so stressful huggs

No I'm not on meds. I know back in the 90s they had a court order against me which I never really did follow. I just dont believe in meds.

No I havent told my employer anything, mainly bc I feel its not his business and its shameful for me. The other employees keep questioning me a lot about meds, but they arent to the extent that it bothers me. They just seem to care more. There are only 8 of us so its like a tight little family. We know more about each other than our familys know about us.

Do I have to tell him I have BP plus a few other issues? I mean..... but i do see a firing coming in a few mths, I feel it deep inside. I just want the panic and anxiety to go away. depression sucks, im not suicidal or anything, but i have thought a lot about it lately. ugh..no attempts just thoughts and how i would do it is all.

You Don't have tell your boss anything. But if you tell him/her you're going through "something personal that you're not comfortable discussing" or maybe making it sound more medical than psychological, you might get cut some slack that you aren't getting now.

I'm sorry you feel so awful. If you don't believe in meds, could you maybe talk to somebody? the more you do nothing, the more nothing will happen.