[ariatboot]

I think I'm going crazy…like insane crazy. My official diagnosis is Bipolar II but honestly I spent probably 98% of my time being super depressed even suicidal a couple of times. I would have a good run of a couple of days where I had more energy and I could get some things done. Then at the beginning of this month I went into a mixed episode which I have never had. It was my understanding the Bipolar II people couldn’t have mixed episodes. I was really jittery and hyper and wanted to crawl out of my skin but still depressed. I went to the pdoc and all of the meds I was on before the mixed episode are gone and I'm on a whole new set of meds including Depakote, Zyprexa and Xanax. But instead of helping it is making it worse. I am having some very strange and random thoughts like wanting to walk on the railing of a huge bridge that is near me just to see if I can do it. I don’t want to hurt myself but I guess I'm a bit afraid that I will hurt myself, unintentionally because of this. Now all I want to do is run around the house cleaning every little speck of dirt, get all my homework done for my college classes and host amazing parties but at the same time I just want to curl up in bed and sleep in hopes of my mind shutting off for a few hours. I am so desperate for sleep I am taking muscle relaxers that were prescribed for me after my knee surgery 4 months ago. I don’t want to start abusing drugs just so I can sleep.
I don’t know what this post is all about but hey for the last 5 minutes I have been focused on one task and sitting still. I guess I'm pretty scared about all of this because it has never ever happened before. I'm the only one in my family that has Bipolar and I have no one to ask to see if I'm losing it or not. I'm also afraid that if I tell my pdoc and my T that I will be sent to the hospital. I have been there for suicidal urges but never for being on the other side. Is this normal for a mixed episode or what??

First and foremost, ariat.. ssssssss I know too that officially they say BP II doesn't have mixed episodes, but I truly believe that they will come to realize that this is not necessarily so. Personally, not a ton, but remember this time in particular as standing out as a no-doubt-about-it-no-holds-barred mixed episode. You've described it well. It's VERY unnerving. And dangerous. Please be careful and stay safe.

How recently did you get switched over to the new meds? I've had persistant, compelling dangerous thoughts like you describe when on wrong meds (for me, everyone being different of course). Again, very dangerous. Please get this checked out right away, ok, ariatboot?

Please stay safe and don't be afraid to call your P or T. The whole thing is about staying safe. Keep us posted, ok?

[blueoctober]

It may have been the previous meds that are still causing the issues. The wrong meds/doses can cause a mixed episode or manic episode. It doesn't necessarily change your diagnosis from II to I and either way I don't think it's such a big deal which BP your diagnosed with as long as you're receiving appropriate treatment.

I would suggest letting your pdoc know. If you're having issues with sleep perhaps you require a sleeping pill prescription to take as needed. If you feel unsafe please go to the hospital. I hope you're feeling better soon.

[Trippin2.0]

Thinking of you ((((Ariat))))) I'm also BPII and have had 2 mixed episodes, they're extremely unnerving, and can be quite dangerous. Please take care of yourself at this time, the important thing is to stay safe, so as IZ said, do not hesitate to call a Dr for help, that's what they're there for. Please keep us posted, I pray this passes soon♥

[Tsunamisurfer]

Yes, this is unfortunately a very clear example of a mixed episode.
Ditto what Innerzone said. Mixed episodes are very common, and the DSM-IV criteria turn a blind eye to the vast majority of us who endure this dangerous state for periods shorter than 5 days, or don't get hospitalised for the mania portion of it.
Don't get hung up on the DSM criteria and do take every caution to keep yourself safe from suicide - we can become highly distractable, out of touch with our values and extremely impulsive when in a dysphoric manic or agitated depressive state, which can be disastrously destructive.

Originally Posted by ariatboot

I think I'm going crazy…like insane crazy. My official diagnosis is Bipolar II but honestly I spent probably 98% of my time being super depressed even suicidal a couple of times. I would have a good run of a couple of days where I had more energy and I could get some things done. Then at the beginning of this month I went into a mixed episode which I have never had. It was my understanding the Bipolar II people couldn’t have mixed episodes. I was really jittery and hyper and wanted to crawl out of my skin but still depressed. I went to the pdoc and all of the meds I was on before the mixed episode are gone and I'm on a whole new set of meds including Depakote, Zyprexa and Xanax. But instead of helping it is making it worse. I am having some very strange and random thoughts like wanting to walk on the railing of a huge bridge that is near me just to see if I can do it. I don’t want to hurt myself but I guess I'm a bit afraid that I will hurt myself, unintentionally because of this. Now all I want to do is run around the house cleaning every little speck of dirt, get all my homework done for my college classes and host amazing parties but at the same time I just want to curl up in bed and sleep in hopes of my mind shutting off for a few hours. I am so desperate for sleep I am taking muscle relaxers that were prescribed for me after my knee surgery 4 months ago. I don’t want to start abusing drugs just so I can sleep.
I don’t know what this post is all about but hey for the last 5 minutes I have been focused on one task and sitting still. I guess I'm pretty scared about all of this because it has never ever happened before. I'm the only one in my family that has Bipolar and I have no one to ask to see if I'm losing it or not. I'm also afraid that if I tell my pdoc and my T that I will be sent to the hospital. I have been there for suicidal urges but never for being on the other side. Is this normal for a mixed episode or what??

[sugahorse1]

well, I'm BP II and have mixed episodes. I've learnt over time that I actually cannot procrastinate and not call my pdoc if I need help. They need to hear what is going on in order to be able to help us. I don't think hospitalisation should be an option/concern as long as you are safe. But please speak to the professionals you have put your faith in
Xx

[ariatboot]

I tried to call my pdoc for the past two days. Her office has this phone system that you have to leave messages under and hope they call you back. I am still not sleeping very well. I have been taking the over the counter sleep aid stuff but taking like 200 mg instead of the recommended 50 mg and it knocks me out for about 3 hours. I just hope my pdoc calls me back soon because I don't know how much longer I can do this.

[blueoctober]

I hope your pdoc called you today. It may help to do some relaxation techniques before bed such as yoga.

[mgran]

How are you today?