[onlymedid]

I took two trips to a local park this weekend to try to just "get away" for a while. It didn't really help. My sister is bipolar also and is going to bring me over an adavan (sp?) to see if it helps with my constant anxiety and irritability. If it works, I am going to see if my pdoc will give me some. I can't stand this worked up feeling inside. I have tried going for walks, working out with the Wii, reading, doing puzzles, playing video games, cleaning the house.....nothing is working and I feel like I am absolutely going to freaking lose it any time now.
My husband has been so patient with me and has been there to cuddle when I need it. He has put up with my buzzing my hair off, then dying it golden blonde. He is putting up with my wishy-washy attitude towards everything and is just being wonderful. Thank God!

Anyways, I just needed to vent because I don't know what else to do except get it all out like spewing it out......blah!!!!

onlymedid! I'm so glad your husband it being so supportive, but so sad that you are feeling this way. Hoping it mellows out for you soon. And vent away! No problem there! Sometimes it's just what we need and so good to have a place where people "get it".

[Larfu]

I'm glad you're taking steps to help get yourself to a healthy place. And it really helps to have a supportive partner. I'm really glad to hear that!

Be cautious with those "as needed" anti anxiety medications. When I took them, I built up a tolerance real fast, and had to keep taking more of them. I use marijuana now, because it works better for me. I even have a medical license to do it (California rules)!

So do take the meds, but just be careful. Anyway, hope you can find some more distractions to keep yourself occupied. And lean on that man of yours, he can hold you up for a while.

[sanityseeker]

I hope things can turn around for you onlymedid. I know the pain you speak of and the constancy of it gets overwhelming fast. I hope the vent helped.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

onlymedid! I'm so glad your husband it being so supportive, but so sad that you are feeling this way. Hoping it mellows out for you soon. And vent away! No problem there! Sometimes it's just what we need and so good to have a place where people "get it".

Thanks. It does help to vent here because you all get it.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by Larfu

I'm glad you're taking steps to help get yourself to a healthy place. And it really helps to have a supportive partner. I'm really glad to hear that!

Be cautious with those "as needed" anti anxiety medications. When I took them, I built up a tolerance real fast, and had to keep taking more of them. I use marijuana now, because it works better for me. I even have a medical license to do it (California rules)!

So do take the meds, but just be careful. Anyway, hope you can find some more distractions to keep yourself occupied. And lean on that man of yours, he can hold you up for a while.

I didn't realize you could build up a tolerance fast. I used to live in Cali, now I'm in Idaho, so you are certainly lucky! lol
I am trying to lean on my man, but don't want to too much because I don't want to wear him out.....I'm wearing myself out already.

I'm trying to find other things to do and I just can't find anything else to do. I am sitting here watching tv, flipping through the channels. I tried playing video games, but that even bored me, which is odd because it's usually the one thing that can distract me for hours.

This sucks!!! *SIGH*

[onlymedid]

I'm so thankful to have you all here to vent to. I know it must get hard listening to the same person all the time, but I want to thank you all.

[Capriciousness]

I hope it gets better soon. I know just what you're talking about.

[onlymedid]

I decided to take a long drive out to my friends' house and hang out. It really helped a lot. They have a daughter who is BP and so they understand what I am going through. They made me laugh and we just talked for an hour and a half. I feel so much better right now.

[Capriciousness]

Yay!!! That is great. That was a good idea.

[BlackPup]

Maybe you can see you doc about increasing or changing your meds... I find a bit of seroquel (quintiapine) can mellow me out in the evenings and it is not addictive.... Glad that venting here helps

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by BlackPup

Maybe you can see you doc about increasing or changing your meds... I find a bit of seroquel (quintiapine) can mellow me out in the evenings and it is not addictive.... Glad that venting here helps

Thanks. I take Seroquel every night before bed. That is one of the things that helps me sleep...thank goodness! lol
Yes, I am glad venting here helps, too!

[BlackPup]

Do you do therapy???? my T used to help me with anxiety..... (now I've moved away)

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by BlackPup

Do you do therapy???? my T used to help me with anxiety..... (now I've moved away)

Yeah, I am in therapy, but I don't see T til tomorrow. I did e-mail her over the weekend. She told me to draw or paint my happy place, which I did, but it didn't really help. I am just hoping I can get through today at work......it's going to be tough because I get stressed out at work and it makes things that much tougher to deal with.

[onlymedid]

Ended up doing some SI because of my constant frustration. I can't stand this waiting on going to the Pdoc. I need help NOW and I can't get in to see him. This is so incredibly hard to deal with. I'm hearing my name called when no one is calling it, I'm feeling like I am crawling in my own skin, I feel like I just want to run away from everyone and everything all the time. I don't want to be at work, but I don't want to be at home, either. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am at a total loss.