Contemplating Suicide

Mental health care isn't that good here in Iran. I visit my pdoc once or twice each month but I don't have a therapist and I don't expect the psychiatric ward to be a pleasant place.

I don't want to die by suicide. I don't want to cause pain for the people I love. I don't want to be remembered as a weak person.Then why, WHY can't I stop feeling suicidal?!

Hey Warrioress,

You are really needing to contact your Psychiatrist I think.... or other people who can help you before you do something. Is there any orgnaisations in Iran that deal with Mental Health some place where is safe and where you can openly talk about your feelings?

You really need to talk, so if you feel better talking here talk away we are here to listen

No organization that I know of. My psychiatrist isn't available now either (it's 11:30 p.m. here)

Is there a close friend whom you can contact at this time of night..... a safety network?

I have friends, but I don't want to make them worried.

sometimes it's enough just to be around people and talk about this and that... provides one good enough distraction.

Warrioress,

As you see, you have friends, many friends, around the entire world. Friends who really do care about how you feel and what you do. We know how you feel about terminating yourself, because most of us have felt that way before and know that we'll feel that way again. Right this moment, we, your friends, need to know that you're doing the best you can to take care of yourself. And that means, right now, your getting in touch with people who can help you, either directly in person or by telephone. There's only so much we can do on the internet. It is not really a good substitute for face-to-face contact or even telephone contact. We understand and appreciate that you do not wish to bother your friends. But this is exactly what friends are there for: to help one out in one's hour of need.

Tomorrow, you can call your P-doc. Tonight, you need to call your friends. Again, through PsychCentral, there are now people all over the world who know of your trouble and care very, very much about what happens to you. And those people (us) feel helpless because they are so very, very far away. Please, do your international friends a favor, telephone to your local, Iranian friends to whom you can speak and with whom you can meet if necessary. Out here, we very, very much want to hear that your crisis has been dealt with by people who care for you. That's just what we would do if we were in your city or county. Please. Help yourself. Call your friends in your town, regardless of the time of night and regardless of whether or not you wish to bother them. This is what friends are for. All friends. Local friends or international friends. Please take care of yourself. We care for you.

Warrioress-how are you now? I'm in a similarish, lol, timezone to you. I'm online now if you just want to chat

Please work on a support network close to you. Find a friend you can confide in, and discuss that's ok that you phone him/her in times like this. Let this person know what an important role they play, and what measures you want them to take to help you.

Ygrec really put it so well - we all care for you, but there7ks only so much we can do to help. Please keep safe!

Again, thanks for caring. It's just so difficult for me to talk to my friends about these feelings. There are several reasons but the most important ones are that I don't want to upset them(specially as one of my close friends whom I can confide in is getting married soon) and that I don't want them to think of me as a weak person (my best friend has said more than once that she thinks only weak people think of killing themselves).

It has nothing to do with being weak. It is not a decision you make, but rather your illness talking

Please be safe

I think in your case it is cultural and in that case it is being hard to deal with... still you would be suprised that maybe some of the people you know feel like that sometimes too.

Your thoughts do not make you weak, so they come and go... and one does not have power over them... You should not dwell on them and if you feel you cannot do this alone... reach out, please.

((((((Warrioress))))))

Hang in there sweety, you can make it through this. Everyone has such good advice. I don't know if it has already been said, but if you really feel you can't stop yourself seek immediate medical attention. We really do care. Please take special care of yourself.

Hi Warrioress - please let us know how things are going.

I hope the thoughts have eased up a little and you can find the strength to push through this.
Is it possible to find a T to speak to? Are there ANY medical options you can explore?

Things were really ugly for me last night, but I didn't do anything. I talked to my sister and she managed to calm me down a bit. Today I went to a psychotherapy center and asked for an appointment. I have a two month long wait before it's my turn though. I went to the psychiatric hospital as well, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about my situation and left without saying anything.

Wow- you have really been proactive! I'm sorry to hear last night was so difficult, but well done for doing something to help yourself, and for reaching out!

Just going to the psych hospital is a great achievement. Did you at least get a feel for the hospital and try see if it would be an option for you?
Did you have to give the psychotherapy some details on why you are making an appointment? Is it possible for you to stress the severity of your situation, and that you need help-NOW!?

Remember too that there is the option of going to an ER. Where I am, I don't think they'd admit me to a psych ward initially, but rather take me to a normal ward. It just keeps you safe for a while, and you hand all your responsibility over

Congrats Warrioress,

That's a big achievement so happy for you and 2 months will fly in

I'm feeling worse than ever. The sooner this ends the happier I'll be. I might even consent to getting hospitalized.

Please do it then. Don't get yourself hospitalised; admit yourself voluntarily. It's much easier.
You've some so far-please make your efforts count; don't dare give in to any thoughts. It's not the logical you - it's the illness

Bad news: I cut my wrists today

I think the majority of us know how you are feeling, and we all are here to support you and listen to you. I know you feel like a burden to your friends (I assume because I do when I'm feeling suicidal) but I guarantee they would rather you tell them what's going on rather than losing you. You are important and people love and care for you. I hope life eases up on you.
hugs

Warrioress, I don't know you <yet> but warm hugs from me. Keep sharing and updating

Warrioress I know you feel like there is no way out right now. I agree with sugahorse, get help now. Go to the ER, admit yourself, or whatever needs to be done to keep you safe. Don't let the illness take control. You are down right now and I know it don't seem like it right now, but it will get better in time. You just have to be strong and do what needs to keep you safe.

I've survived the crisis everyone. I feel much better now

Yay! Thanks for letting us know. I hope you learnt some coping skills, should this come up again