[Warrioress]

I feel like I've lost contact with reality; like I'm not living in the real world, but rather in a dream; like I'm inside an invisible bubble. I have stopped feeling anything. I cannot love, I cannot hate. I can't feel joy, I can't feel sorrow. I feel like my own mind is playing tricks on me. Today I went to visit the pdoc and he said this is called depersonalization. Whatever it is, I don't like it. It's making me more suicidal. Has anyone had a similar experience?

[CesarioRose]

Yea I get that, and derealization from time to time. Many theorize it's a way for the psyche to cope with difficult/stressful times. For others it just happens.

Normally when it happens, I call my Therapist, and schedule extra sessions to get through the episodes.

[dragonfly2]

Oh yes...and the derealization too. It's very uncomfortable and can really make you feel like you're losing your mind sometimes. It's been happening to me for many, many years.

Can you remember when you started feeling this way?

One technique I use to try to reconnect with my body and the world around me is to use a bag of ice or cold packs on my wrists and neck. And strangely enough, the color red also helps bring me back. That's a long story for another time...but it's one of the few colors I can actually see when the DR sets in.

[CesarioRose]

Oh, hum, if you're looking for ways to bring you back, then you should look into teaching your self some "grounding" techniques. These are somethings my Therapist has taught me, and I have read from people who experience dissociative disorders, like ptsd, did, etc etc.

The five senses are POWERFUL. Use them.

Touch.
Touch your body, legs, hands, anything. Touch other people, if possible (in a friendly way; like holding a family member's hand., etc.)
Smell
Point out things you smell outloud. It's okay to talk to your self. Point out anything and everything you smell.
See
What do you see with your eyes? Notice anything and everything. Again, don't feel afraid of talking to your self it it helps.
Hearing.
Do you hear stuff? Birds, cars, music, tv? Anything? See if you can hear things, and point them out.
Taste.
Eat stuff. Eat and drink things, and point out and pay attention to what it is you're eating.

Either you can do this, or a loved one can help you.

Writing something every day, reflecting on the day's events helps me, too, and it is a suggested technique. Keep a daily journal of stuff and junk. Anything; doesn't need to be meaningful deep insightful literature of humanity. It can be as simple as "I saw this awesome cat/dog today. I love animals. Then I went to get some lunch, and I drink some coffee."

This will help you keep time/events.

Hope this helps.

[Warrioress]

Thanks. I'll try the methods you suggested. It helps to know that I'm not alone.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Warrioress

I feel like I've lost contact with reality; like I'm not living in the real world, but rather in a dream; like I'm inside an invisible bubble. I have stopped feeling anything. I cannot love, I cannot hate. I can't feel joy, I can't feel sorrow. I feel like my own mind is playing tricks on me. Today I went to visit the pdoc and he said this is called depersonalization. Whatever it is, I don't like it. It's making me more suicidal. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Hi Warrioress. I understand the alienating experience this brings. I don't lose emotional touch much - if anything, mine is amplified - passionate desire to embrace the whole world around me, yet terrified of rejection, which seems inevitable because my experience is so divergent from that of others around me.
The de-realisation aspect for me comes from what seems to be perceptual disturbances. I can't be sure that what I see is real, so I need to stare at it for a while, look around for clues as to what is not real. The same goes for sounds. Far too many sounds turn out to be in my head only. So that puts me on the back foot socially. My pet fish and computer don't look at me strangely as people do, so they are easier to talk to.
In short, its not a healthy situation.

I'm glad you're in therapy and have the opportunity to work it through and develop some coping mechanisms.

[Warrioress]

I love the quote in your signature Tsunamisurfer!

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Warrioress

I love the quote in your signature Tsunamisurfer!

Yeah, it was a bit of a laugh at the absurdity of people getting all avoidant of mentally ill people, yet if you think about it, there is an awful lot of irrational stuff people swear blind by. So I take heart - a couple of hallucinations here and there isn't the end of the earth