tell your story

whats your story? We all have one. Is your story your condition ? Is it your family ? Is it the things you have achieved? Your dreams?
This is a share thread. Share as much or as little as you like. (remembering your online safty).

My story: im the eldest of three children, we are a close family.
My parents are still together after 35 years.
I was a quiet shy child.
I was a emotional out of controll teen.
I became a mother before i was 20.
I loved too much over the years.
I have had my emotional ups and downs in an extreme way since i was 12.
It took me 16 years to be labled bipolar (not that i spent 16 yrs looking for that).
I suffered through eating disordered behaviour and SI
For years.
I still keep most things hidden from family and friends.
Im doing much better now.
I turn thirty this year, havent had much of a career. Want to work in psychology or indigenious welfare one day.
My children are my life.

My Story....

1. I am the youngest of 3 kids. I am also the youngest by 1 minute to my Twin Sister who has not got any MH Issues
2. My Parents are still together- they are celebrating their 32nd Ann this Month
3. I was out of control as a Teenager only when in the house.... I was an angel to the outside world
4. I am shy and always have been
5. I devveloped a "minor" eating disorder when I was 16-17 years old
6. I started SH'in when I was a kid and have never stopped
7. I have hid my depression/mania from myself and others for more than 10 years
8. I became depressed in 2005 after the deaths of my Gran in January and my Granda in March and then my redundancy in September
9. I started drinking heavily in 2005 and had my 1st sui attempt
10. Got a new job late 2005 and became more and more depressed with mania bursting through
11. Changed jobs in 2008 the one I thought was for me and was my chosen career.
12. Started to become manic mid 2009
13. I mived into a flat with a colleague/friend
14. Depression kicked in soon after a major
15. Have been in and out of my job since Nov 2009
16. Am currently fighting with my work to let me stay on
17. Have BP 1 and Anxiety and Sleep issues
18. See a CPN(Community Psychiatric Nurse) Monthly at the moment but don't seem to be going anywhere with that
19. Have in the past seen Counsellors- 1 through my work which lasted 7 months and 1 through a charity which lasted 8 weeks.
20. Have applied and been accepted into a MH charity- Penumbra and have my 1st day there tomorrow
21. Been on meds since Nov 2009- Sept 2010 for Depression and then Oct 2010- Present for BP.
22. No-one in my family suffers from MH Issues
23. No-one in my family understands BP and or Mania/Depression
24. I have tried sui att 4 times and am not proud of them
25. I have VERY low self-esteem
26. I am very gloomy about my future at the moment
27. I wish I was more positive
28. I ALWAYS apologise even when I have NOT done anything wrong
29. I do not sleep and when I do I feel rubbish
30. I have no motivation even though I enjoy the gym when I eventually get there

Think that's me.... sorry if it's long

[QUOTE=Miss Laura;
7. I have hid my depression/mania from myself and others for more than 10 years
26. I am very gloomy about my future at the moment
27. I wish I was more positive
28. I ALWAYS apologise even when I have NOT done anything wrong :QUOTE]

AHHA ME TOO.


Thanks for sharing

Such a coincidence that we are doing a very similar thing in group therapy right now.

I have bipolar II, and the depression is about as bad as it can get when I cycle, which is right now every few weeks to a month.

Managing this illness has consumed most of my energy during the past year.

Bipolar runs in the family.

I am glad to have a strong support network.

I have had multiple abusers in my past and have suffered emotional, physical and sexual abuse at their hand.s

You are a survivor.

My story...

I am the third of four children. I will be 41 in July and have two living sisters. One is 52, the other will be 35. My mother had a stillborn boy two years before I was born. My mother had severe post partum depression after I was born.

I am blind in my right eye and have been since birth.

When I was three, I fell through a plate glass door. I am lucky to be alive and almost lost my left arm. This was the trauma that started the dissociations I experience.

I was a shy, quiet child. When I grew up, I wanted to be a veterinarian, then a nurse, then a doctor....always medicine. At the age of 24, I finally earned my Bachelor's degree in clinical laboratory medicine and am a registered Medical Technologist.

I had my first depressive episodes as a young child and my first psychiatric hospitalization when I was 14. The manic episodes began when I was around 16, but it took 14 more years to get the correct diagnosis of Bipolar I. I have had 8 psych hospitalizations and have made two serious sui attempts. I have had ECT.

I had a severe depressive episode and postpartum OCD after the birth of my second child. At one point, I became too sick to care for my children and they had to live with other family members under the care of the state.

I have seen my mother's psych records noted with "paternal mental illness". My own records read "maternal psychiatric illness", as do my own daughter's records. I am wondering when this cycle will end.

I have been with my husband for 25 years and will be married for 19 years this month. We've had probably more than our share of ups and downs, but we still laugh a lot. If I had to write a book about our life together, it would be titled, "What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been".

I am on Social Security disability and trying to figure out where to go from here. My hair is beginning to turn grey, but I am reluctant to color it. I have fought like hell to survive as long as I have and have earned every grey hair I have.

The rest has yet to be written....

dragonfly

I'm 41 years old.

My current DX is Bipolar II but it was Major Depression for most of my life. i've also been treated for panic and anxiety issues, PTSD and obsessive thoughts.

I was brought up with 1 sister. We were both adopted as babies and we were very lucky to have the family we have.
I found my biological mother when I was 30 and it turned out that all of my mental issues are hereditary, which is very frustrating for me. i am so grateful she gave me up but resentful that she gave me so much crap to deal with. I have no contact with her now.

A friend of my parents' abused me as a child and I had no idea anything was wrong until I was 22 and it came back to me when I remembered another trauma. My mother was extremely reluctant to believe me until she called her friend at my begging and found out it was the reason the couple divorced.

I have been hospitalized 4 times - the last time I had ECT - i don't know if it helped but I was so depressed I figured i would try it.

i try to be compliant with my meds but have a tendency to forget morning meds. Even when they are sitting right next to me.

Even when I was thin I thought i was fat. I have a terrible body image and I'm not sure if i'll ever be happy with the way that I look. i've already had one plastic surgery and may possibly have more this summer.

i left my last 3 jobs due to stress - but in 2 cases was able to get let go and collect unemployment. I'm learning that although I love to work, I do not love working in an office anymore, and I absolutely hate female bosses.

I quit smoking cigarettes 8 months ago and i don't miss it at all. i quit smoking weed almost 3 years ago and i miss that a little.

I am a survivor.

This was very hard to write

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, you are a survivor - and kudos to you for giving up cigarettes and weed. You are very strong.

I have a long story, but will give you the short version....
I'm soon to be 55. I think I'm 25. I am in great shape and take care of myself. I have been married 38 years.
I have DID and am BiPolar with a sleep disorder.
I was sexually abused by an older cousin at age 9-12 and passed around to the neighborhood perverts during those years.
I am a professional, have a great job, make great money.
My other personality loves women, especially skinny ones with dark hair.
I have 2 kids (boys) 6 grandkids 5 Girls and 1 boy.
I enjoy camping, hiking and biking.
I enjoy PC a lot. Lots of great people here.
I have been known to disappear for months from forums.
I've been homeless twice in my life.
I served in the Marines for over 6 years. I was not in combat.
I have a dark side, not evil,.....which reveals himself to those he trusts.
I have lived all across the USA, currently somewhere in AZ.
I like chatting and fantasy, that's my dark side. I am not a pervert.
I love life....and all the adventure in it.

my story in a small shell

eldest of three
bipolar w/depression and sleeping disorder
feels like im emotionally abused by the second (we dont know the third)
he has adhd
i am so negitave about my future
i struggle w/SI and thoughts of S**C*D*
i have few friends, who cant really help me with my cycles (about two weeks)
basicly i HATE my life
also i apologize for everthing

Thanks for sharing and being so honest. If you ever need to talk you know where to find me.

But thankyou for doing it.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Im finding it interesting hearing them, and i think everyone has a story , and a right to be heard.

I am 28 and was DX when I was 16 with Bi-Polar 1 and anxiety. Then about 6 months ago I was Dx with Boarderline Personality disorder. Then a month ago I was Dx with PTSD due to incest with my brother when I was 8 - 12. Of chorse I was unwilling. Since I was 16 I have been cutting my wrists. I have begun to fall into my downward spiral. First it's feeling a little down. Then it's feeling like no one cares for me and that I am worthless. Then I start giving my stuff away. Then I start to cut and cut again. I don't stop until I get that euphoric feeling. I feel like cutting so bad right now but my step-daughter is in the living room and that's what is stopping me for right now. I would like to find someone out there who can be me "sponser", someone who I can call and talk to about this.

thanks for ur honest post.
Feel free to pm me ok.
Stay strong.

I am youngest of 3
Mental illness runs in the family
I am 31, diagnosed BP2 at 26, first episode at 18...
For a long time I had no hope, but now I have hope in God
I take my meds even when I don't want to and I'm looking forward to what life has to come
I have been challenged and have overcome it
I will be challenged again but I will remember what I have already achieved

thanks for sharing!

My story: im the youngest of 2 children, we are a close family.
My parents are still together after 40+ years.
I was a fun loving, yet energetic child, always keeping my parents busy!!
I was a emotional teen who always had a "flavor" (boyfriend) of the week.
I was married at 18, first son at 20, daughter born when I was 21, youngest born when I was 26.
Divorced at 23...Second marriage at the age of 23... that lasted 4 months... 3rd marriage at age 27.. also only lasted 4 months but had dated him off and on 1 1/2 years prior.... Been divorced/ single for almost 5 years now...
I've loved too much over the years.
I have had my emotional ups and downs in an extreme way since i was 12.
Was labled Depressed at age 23... suffered many years with different meds (all through my GP)
Finally seeked professional help this year after having my oldest into see a T and being told by HIS T that I needed to be seen as well... lol
Now dx with Borderline, Bipolar 1, OCD, sever chronic depression...
I still keep most things hidden from family and friends.
This is by far the worst I've ever been...
I turn thirty-four this year, havent had much of a career.
Went to school for Paralegal after giving up on the idea of nursing.... lol
My children are my life.

I'm the eldest of 3 children, parents still together.
Molested by an older woman at 11.
Began self harming and starving myself not long later.
Struggled with depression from about 14
Had my first manic episode before i was diagnosed at about 17
By 19 I was dependent on alcohol and went into a detox facility
Shortly after i was put on zoloft which made me manic
Diagnosed as Bipolar.

That's the short version

(hugsbutterfly)

thanks ... should have ended a little more positively

I have a great boyfriend
and I've returned to studying and am doing a degree in English Literature

Thats good to hear

I was the big sister. Two months prem, and they worried about my health as a baby, but I grew up into a big strong bruiser. Diagnosed autistic whenI was about three or four, but only found out recently, when my son was diagnosed asperger's.

Was always considered odd, bullied badly as a child, including at times by my family... who didn't mean any harm, but were still very hurtful. There was some physical violence growing up, but I don't want to talk about it.

I was considered the "golden child", since I was very bright and articulate (when I finally started talking that is.) My family expected me to do very well. I went to Oxford, and they thought I was going to make them all proud. My poor brother was always in my shadow growing up, which was completely unfair, as he's a bright, articulate, very intelligent man. I think the inferiority complex they built into him pushed him to achieve as much as he has. He's the one who ended up making the family proud, and I ended up the black sheep. The turning point was my mother's suicide. My brother buried himself in work and discipline, I cracked up, and have been dealing with psychosis ever since. About twenty years. I managed to rationalise my delusions and hallucinations and hide them from people for the most part, though anyone who knew me realised I wasn't the full shilling after a while. This caused trouble at work. My second husband steered me a safe course, and for the most part I was able to be a good loving mother and kind wife. Sadly, my husband died, and I completely cracked up. In retrospect, it's like watching a raw egg fall in slow motion. You can see the mess coming, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Eventually I had to face my illness, because everything was coming to pieces. I knew I had to be a mother for my son, particularly since he also was bereaved, and he has his own mental health differences. He's got aspergers, dyspraxia, and I'm convinced suffers off and on from depression. He's several times mentioned delusions, obsessive thoughts, and thoughts of suicide. So, I finally came clean with the doctors, and within the last year have found myself again. I was always there behind the illness, always loved my son... now I can be there for him as a responsible adult, rather than a scared child.

Things are still difficult. I still have anxieties, occasional delusions, and a couple of times a month I'll have some kind of hallucination. But I can cope with them now, since I know they're not real. I'll have to stay on the meds at least till my son is grown up, since I want to see him safe to adulthood before I risk relapse by reducing my meds.

Since I've been mentally improving I've been able to be friends with my brother again, who funnily enough is one of my greatest allies, even despite our years of sibling rivalry. It's sad looking back on all the things that might have been, and the life I never had, because my illness stripped me of organisational and life skills. Sometimes I look at my brother and think, "why did I have to be ill? I could have been like him." But I'm coming to terms with it. So, in many ways my family think of me as a disappointment. What was the point of all that study and early promise if I was going to end up on disability, working part time voluntary because I can't cope with "real work"... but then what's the point of wondering what might have been? I only make myself unhappy by doing so, and all I have to work with is what I have now. Which is a functioning adult, paying her bills, raising her son, and ignoring the occasional voice or ghouley in the shadows. I do have a life now, for which I'm grateful.

I . am 49. I grew up in an abusive home. Been married twice with 2 boys. Functioned fairly well even though I never felt normal until about 12 years ago. During these 12 years my life has been a roller coaster. Diagnosed major deppessive, DID, anxiety and PTSD and lastly bipolar 2. I have so many s**c** attempts I can't even count them all. I currently am unemployed and not even able to function in a full time job. Any stress sends me on a cycle. I have a few close friends but still feel alone. I try not to let others close to me. I just feel like I am alone. Soon I will probably be homeless and that terrifies me. Just scared of what all lies ahead.