How long did it take you to accept your diagnosis? Do you still have doubts?

It took me about 9 months to accept it, although sometimes I still have my doubts, especially when I'm depressed. I just think, "none of my BP meds are working to prevent depression. Do I really have BP? Because BP meds should work." (Obviously this logic is poor, but that's what goes through my mind.)

[jpb4815]

It took me like 3 years to really come to terms with it, although it did explain a lot about my 20's.
I still struggle with it at times, some days I just want to be normal(whatever that is). Mostly though I accept it as a part of my life, and go about my days.

[LadyShadow]

I fought it every step of the way for years. Through my 20s I was in complete denial then after not being on meds for two years when the symptoms came back I had to finally give in and accept that this is what I have.

[LacunaCoiler]

IT took me a few months. I spent a lot of time being "I'm fine" or "Everything is good". Once I finally decided to give meds a chance and I started to feel better I finally just accepted it as something I have. I do go through periods were I don't think I have it and that's usually when I go off my meds. However, the wife is good at making sure I stay on them.

[xRavenx]

It took a while. Treatment has been a god-send though. I don't know where I'd be today without it, so getting help has been a relief. I do still have my days where I have difficulties accepting it for sure. There are days where I question if these meds are working, but I try to remain hopeful that there's always ways to try to work through BP symptoms with coping skills, talking to my therapist, medication adjustments.

I'm so glad that after some years of not knowing what was wrong with me and being scared for my life that today I have education on my condition, I can turn to others (like here) for support, and that I do not have to allow this illness to take my life away from me. I have more determination these days.

[CloserToTheMid]

It's almost 6 years since my diagnosis. I was beginning to think that I was only being treated because it was a condition of my reconciliation, but then I started having mania issues this past year and I can see that I'm legit. I don't think I would make it long without the meds before my life totally imploded.

[emgreen]

Running the tape back through my pre-diagnosis life, it took no convincing that I had bipolar disorder; in fact, it was almost a relief being diagnosed. I don't care for being bipolar, but I can now understand my moods, & realize that things (especially depressive episodes) will eventually pass. Before I understood the passing nature of depression I had more serious suicidal thoughts & pseudo-suicidal attempts. I haven't had those thoughts or felt a need to act on them in a long time.

[Shazerac]

Getting the diagnosis was a relief for me. I got on the right meds and my life is much better. I do go through periods of denial, but I think it's just having to take a butt load of pills.

[Unrigged64072835]

i was relieved when I was diagnosed. A lot more things in my life made sense.

[BipolaRNurse]

In some ways I've never come to full acceptance, even though I've been diagnosed bipolar by five mental healthcare providers. When I'm stable, like now, it's easy to minimize the symptoms I've had in the past or think I've over-exaggerated them to my doctors. I sometimes even wonder if I'm bipolar at all. But then I look at my medication list and realize that I'm on all these drugs to prevent those symptoms, and it keeps me from going off them to test the waters. I really don't want to go back to the way I was before I was diagnosed.

[JustJace2u]

After my recent hospitalization I think that was the kick in the pants so to speak that made me accept that this is my new reality. There are days when I don't like it of course, but there is only so much I can do.

[raspberrytorte]

Nine years.

[bioChE]

Twenty years and counting.

[franz kafka]

It took me about a year and a really awful psychotic manic episode. After that point it was impossible to deny something was wrong.

Even though I had plenty of "recorded evidence" -- such as 10+ notebooks filled with pain and various ways I tried to help myself, and such as a stack of 3x5 cards more than 1/2 inch thick called "Counselors" none of whom helped me for years and years -- I still kept thinking, "I'm fooling myself, and everyone else, and ripping off the government for the benefits I get." But just the other day, I took the bipolar "test" at the top of this forum. And I took the earlier version that follows the version on this page. Well.....I scored "severe" symptoms of bipolar disorder. So....now I know I really am, even though this test is not a formal dx! And by the way, the pdoc that did my initial evaluation after I went to the clinic for a mental health emergency, did a full two hour interview and evaluation of me! That was almost 20 years ago! But it was this test here that finally got me convinced that I'm not fooling myself and everybody else into believe I'm bipolar.

[venusss]

I sometimes wonder. I have been... you could even call it "stable" for about two years... All my other problems are clearly related to other things, like trauma issues....

So I don't know. Maybe I am more or less cured (my depressive or manic episodes are like... two days at most, which does not pose any problems to my functioning and quality of life) or maybe it was something else altogether.

[hopeless2015]

I still don't think I'm bipolar, I have serious depression but I don't think I'm ever what you would consider hypo manic...I've brought it up more than once with my psychologist to, but she still says I'm bipolar

Hi Venuss...That's great that you are doing so well! Do you take meds? I am sure you know that a LOT of people with bipolar "get well," and then get off their meds. For those who are not rapid cycling, the odds are huge that they will crash or get totally manic again, maybe even in a few years of stopping meds. I'm rapid cycling, and tried twice, with doctor's assistance, to get off meds. I was feeling fine then. One of those times, I even cut my pills into EIGHTHS and cut back 1/8 every few weeks. But it wasn't long before my clinical depression came back full force. So please use judgment, and be very careful, with a doctor's assistance if you decide to try getting off meds. Suddenly stopping them can lead to seizures, and I don't know what else.

Originally Posted by venusss

I sometimes wonder. I have been... you could even call it "stable" for about two years... All my other problems are clearly related to other things, like trauma issues....

So I don't know. Maybe I am more or less cured (my depressive or manic episodes are like... two days at most, which does not pose any problems to my functioning and quality of life) or maybe it was something else altogether.

[venusss]

I don't take meds, never did. I got off my saint johns wort and bach essences and only take them occasionally now.

I am not "stable on meds", I gotten genuinely well... not sure how it happen, perhaps by settling into life and getting some aim and purpose in life...

[still_crazy]

I think there's a dogmatic, somewhat religious element to psychiatry. Instead of being a "sinner," you're "mentally ill" and/or a "patient." The psychiatrists are the High Priests and Priestesses, and the counselors and therapists are lower level clergy.

You faults, flaws, problems, sins, etc. are coded as "symptoms." The High Priest tells you who you are, and you either accept it (the "diagnosis") and do what The High Priest advises you to do, or you deny it ("denial," "lack of insight"), in which case you're perceived as even sick-er (more flawed, sinful, in need of "help") than before.

I say this as someone who takes meds. The psych drugs help make my life more bearable, but I don't know that I have a specific "brain disease" or what have you. I may or may not need the drugs indefinitely, but I do need them (plus vitamins and such) for the next 3ish years, minimum.

[Faltering]

I still don't accept my diagnosis. I tend to quit meds for months then hurry to see a pdoc when the symptoms get unbearable again lol. You'd think I would know better by now, but I can't seem to get it right. It doesn't help that I haven't found a treatment that works yet.

[strugglingpgh]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

How long did it take you to accept your diagnosis? Do you still have doubts?

It took me about 9 months to accept it, although sometimes I still have my doubts, especially when I'm depressed. I just think, "none of my BP meds are working to prevent depression. Do I really have BP? Because BP meds should work." (Obviously this logic is poor, but that's what goes through my mind.)

I was diagnosed over 10 years and I still have struggles accepting it. I also feel like it is my fault that I have it. And I can see the logic in thinking you don't have BP because you are still depressed. But maybe you are just on the wrong meds. Plus, every so often I've had to have my Dr. change the meds I am on because they seem to stop working.

[Nate7907]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

i was relieved when I was diagnosed. A lot more things in my life made sense.

I kind of was relieved to! But when I am Hypo I don't believe I am sick anymore.

[Kuras]

By the time I got an accurate diagnosis, I was willing to believe what they were informing me of. I accepted my diagnosis and, honestly, took some comfort in it. Being able know what I was dealing with took the uncertainty out of things and made it clear that something could be done.

Sometimes I accept it 100%....sometimes I refute it 100% and sometimes, like now, I'm unsure what I think.