[allme]

I just hate ppl that sit there without knowing the full facts and judge you like they are all good and pure and have never made a mistake before. Come into my BIPOLAR sick head and be used and manipulated by someone you should be able to trust, go manic and try to resist the words of someone that knows your every weakness and play on the things you want to hear and you try and lead a perfect life...GRRRRRRRR I KNEW there would be someone to start mouthing off about my choices.....well, it must be great to be perfect musn't it?

Sorry guys...I am venting here because I feel safe here....amongst fellow BP sufferers.

I posted on 'romantic feeelings for my therapist' board. basically i have been seeing my ex t on and off....we were on mainly when I was manic...but some 'man' was somewhat unsympathetic and it just made me mad especially when this place is supposed to be a place of support. He doesnt know me.....why not PM me if it upsets him that much to find out more b4 casting his opinions that are unsupportive. Anyway, my ex t emailed me and basically ended it..... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I am such a mess!!! And now that 'man' has just made me feel worse I am highly sensitive and I am such a ppl pleaser that it really upsets me when set upon....especially when there are circumstances involved that meant I was abused

Sorry again....I had to come to this board as its the only one I can feel safe in. So pls,,,,if there is anyone else that wants to take the high ground, save it for another day......believe me I am paying for it all by myself

[allme]

sorry I should of mentioned I am married.....yes I know that makes me a terrible person but pls come on, give me a break, this guy took advantage of me not the other way around

[Trippin2.0]

Hugs to you hun. Hope you start to feel better soon. XOXO

[eskielover]

Yes, we can make ourselves feel bad enough when we do something we know we shouldn't do.

All we can do is learn from our experience & try to do better the next time we find ourselves in a similar situation. I am sorry the person wasn't tactful & diplomatic in their reply to you on your situation.

This too shall pass & you will grow from your experience so that even when dealing with a BP state the next time, you will probably look back to this experience & know better what you want to do.

Breath & try to let it go (know it's difficult). Glad you were able to express your feelings....that also helps the mind let go of the frustrations it's feeling.

[Cole Thornton]

I am sorry about what happened to you. I am a "man" and understand.

My wife is the bipolar one in this marriage. She had an affair with a psychologist (not hers-she was not yet diagnosed) who promised her the world and told her everything she wanted to hear to get what he wanted, which was a really attractive woman to play around with. He knew she was married and knew she had small children, but did not care. One day he told her, "Oh, by the way, I am getting married this Saturday, but you can still be my main mistress." Turns out that he had not only a fiance, but two or three more mistresses, as well.

The good psychologist we went to see to try to salvage our marriage is quite positive my wife was carefully manipulated by the bad psychologist. He told us that despite being middle-aged and balding he would have no problem going to a bar, picking out the woman with a mental illness and sleeping with her that night if he wanted to. Psychologists have that much knowledge of human emotion and can do much evil if they have no morals, like the bad one I promised my priest I would not kill. Fortunately, most of them are good people.

Yes, allme, you messed up. But the fact that you know and accept it means you are a decent person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you are like my wife, who was extremely manic at the time, the tharapist had a major hand in manipulating, using, and abusing you, and you really had no control over your actions. I am the guy who was cheated on by the manic spouse and I understand, and no one can judge either of us until they have been in our shoes.

Find a GOOD tharapist who can help you work through the guilt and anger. It has been almost 4 years and my wife still is scarred from what she did and for allowing herself to be manipulated like that, even though mania and an unscrupulous psychologist were behind it. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

[allme]

thanks guys and a big thank you to you cole. I have it has been very helpful to hear from you and just hope my husband will be as understanding. Your wife is very lucky to have you.

[Cole Thornton]

Remember that your husband needs help to get through this, as well. Encourage him to see someone on his own.Bipolar is like a last name; once you are married, you share it.

A good marriage councelor will be helpful, too. In our situation, my wife at first said she had the affair because she was not getting what she needed from me. It took a while for her to realize that after years of pushing me away one day and expecting the moon the next (its a rapid-cycle-bipolar-thing) I had given up. The marriage councelor has helped us with this, and was the one who originally told her to see a psychiatrist because he could tell 10 minutes after meeting us she was bipolar and manic.

My best wishes for both of you, and stay the heck away from that tharapist. He is, for lack of a better term, a predator.

[allme]

thanks Cole

I nearly told him today....I sat on the sofa full of disgust and looked over at him so unknowing and it broke my heart....I couldn't stop crying and couldn't tell him. My dad called me and again I started crying and told him everything.......I just had to tell someone close to me and he was so very supportive and understanding and told me he loved me, is there for me and that I can do this. I am seeing my CPN tomorrow to try and work out a plan. Firstly, I need to go into counselling or something and then, when ready, go into therapy with my husband and tell him about everything that happened with me and ex t. And I agree....he will need his own therapy too...Oh God what have I done??? I thought about not telling him....but that isn't fair.....I owe it to him to be honest and he can decide whether or not he wants to stay with me. I just pray that he does....and I pray I haven't caused irreversible damage.

Thanks again Cole

[Cole Thornton]

By the way, I do not know what the laws are across the pond, but here in the states what the T did would be cause to yank his license and he may even face criminal charges. I would contact the institute governing his license to keep him from hurting another patient.

Check the private message I sent for you and your husband.

[protector1973]

threapist succumbed to patients goodlooks or was a possible sexual preadator, this is 1 of pitfalls of threapy sometimes. hope you put this behind you and dont be to hard on yourself.

[allme]

thanks I'm working on it

[allme]

exhausted