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Old Jul 18, 2011, 12:55 AM
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Skeeter89 Skeeter89 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,MI
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Ok i'm not sure if this has to do with my bipolar or my other mental issues or if its even related to that at all. I just woke up from having rapid cycling nightmares if that makes sense. I had only laid down 30 minutes prior to waking up in fear. This happened to me a week ago as well. All the nightmares have to do with way i fear to die i guess would be the best way to describe it. Every nightmare tonight string as well as last weeks electricity fail and anything electronic didn't work at all. Sometime there is a guy a big guy that is trying to kill me. Other times it like i'm fighting this supernatural being. About a year ago when i was living with my dad and my girlfriend at the time was gone visiting with family i had a nightmare that this super natural spirit came flying at me and once it hit me i woke up but i felt pressed into my bed and i had to make a huge effort just to get out of bed. So i think that could be where the me fighting the supernatural being is coming from. Then i had one tonight where my cat bit my knuckle and wouldn't let go. When i wake up i don't only fear for my life but i also fear that someone is in my house with me and i just don't know it but i also fear going back to sleep. The thought of going back to sleep just makes me want to cry. I currently have a headache and did before i went to bed but now it seems to be strongest in my neck. I know i can't go through this every week especially at the beginning of the week. When i'm this fearful and my dog growls i get freaked out especially tonight right now i'm really just overly scared and i honestly don't know what to do cause i don't like to go to bed because i always have this fear in the back of my mind someone is going to break in and kill me in my sleep. Not sleeping for the rest of my life isn't an option but i am at a complete loss at this point i actually seem to be at a complete loss in most aspects of my life right now. if anyone knows anything and can offer some advice i would greatly appreciate it. But if i have someone else at my house staying the night then i'm fine and can sleep just fine without anxiety locking my doors actually gives me peace of mind when someone is over but when i'm alone it doesn't give me any kind of peace of mind at all. I currently feel that that guy from my nightmare is standing behind me waiting for the right moment and reading this as i type it but i know he isn't there with how many times i have turned around to check. I'm so scared right now that i went into my kitchen and got my biggest knife since that is the only kind of protection i have in my house for myself. Analyzing this myself i know that there is something really wrong with me mentally and i think that i'm crazy especially right now. I honestly don't know if i will be able to go back to sleep tonight these nightmares were worse than last weeks if anyone has any advice i would love to hear it

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  #2  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 02:28 AM
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SunReach SunReach is offline
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Hugs to you Skeeter

My advice would be to turn all the lights on, and maybe put on music or the tv (I turn on the tv, music freaks me out when I'm in a similar situation) and try to breathe slowly. Even if you feel really scared try to keep reminding yourself, as you do in your post, that no real harm will come to you. Because it won't

I also have problems with nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night feeling like some sort of devilish creature is after me...Especially if I'm alone or I have spent a while being alone...I think it's a sort of symptom of not feeling safe in your own skin in a way..At least that's the most likely explanation for me.

Definitely talk to your therapist about it. And please make sure you don't keep the knife in your bed!
I hope you feel better soon and that the sun will rise soon where you are
(Those first rays of the sun after such a night..Think about the sun )

  #3  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 02:30 AM
Anonymous32507
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I get stuck in the same place sometimes. I'm just offering hugs and peaceful sleep thoughts to you ((((((Skeeter))))))

I usually sleep with my tv on, I know they say this is bad but it helps distract my mind a little. Is there anything comforting like that you could try? Even maybe get up for a bit and do something to relax yourself before you attempt to go back to bed ?

I hope this goes away, and I don't think it's too crazy to get something for protection when you are terrified, I've done it many times, your not alone.
  #4  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 03:43 AM
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Skeeter89 Skeeter89 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,MI
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Well when i got to bed i have a fan on and i play music cause its the fastest way i can get to sleep which works great for me during the week normally but last sunday night and this sunday night i slept for 30 minutes well that all the sleep i got last night i was too scared to go back to bed and it bothers me that its the same type of dream that last the same amount of time on the same day of the week and if i had a therapist i would talk to them about it but unfortunetly the economy isn't the greatest and i don't have insurance trying to find ways of getting help and getting back on meds again cause i really need those meds i also could use a full psych eval but i know that cost hundreds of dollars but i need to start thinking about getting ready for my dad
  #5  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 01:09 PM
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SunReach SunReach is offline
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Location: N Yorkshire
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Hmm...It must be really tough not to have any professional help at the moment..
I don't know what else to suggest (and I don't know the system there at all) but we're here to listen and send you our love

This is one of my favourite songs by The Innocence Mission:

I find them very calming..
  #6  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 05:29 PM
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Skeeter89 Skeeter89 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,MI
Posts: 15
this past week has been horrible and i don't really get along with professional help for the most part guess i just haven't found the right one yet. I had one wonderful psychologist but i had to move back home cause of the drama i had going on in my life. I'm currently trying to find somewhere i can go to get help for low income people without insurance. i have noticed that talking to people on here has helped me work through it at short term and make me feel comfortable in my own skin i know i need to get professional help right now and i'm really trying hard to get the help i need without being hospitalized
  #7  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 06:31 PM
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xp1155 xp1155 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 150
I can relate and have nightmares almost every night. I don't know what advice to give you about that, but....

I don't have insurance and make very little until the end of August. I called my county board of mental health and they referred me to Nurse Practitioner of Psychiatry, who charges far less than a p-doc. Maybe you should give your county a call because it's free and they are there to help! You can also try the NAMI in your county.

I saw you posted where you are from in your profile and found this for you:
http://www.accesskent.com/Health/
http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...HL=no&state=MI

  #8  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:20 PM
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wing wing is offline
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Location: Southern US
Posts: 18,546
You last post sounds better (((((((skeeter))))). I hope you find someplace to get your meds soon, and that you're getting some rest.
  #9  
Old Jul 19, 2011, 09:50 PM
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Forgive77 Forgive77 is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeeter89 View Post
Ok i'm not sure if this has to do with my bipolar or my other mental issues or if its even related to that at all. I just woke up from having rapid cycling nightmares if that makes sense. I had only laid down 30 minutes prior to waking up in fear. This happened to me a week ago as well. All the nightmares have to do with way i fear to die i guess would be the best way to describe it. Every nightmare tonight string as well as last weeks electricity fail and anything electronic didn't work at all. Sometime there is a guy a big guy that is trying to kill me. Other times it like i'm fighting this supernatural being. About a year ago when i was living with my dad and my girlfriend at the time was gone visiting with family i had a nightmare that this super natural spirit came flying at me and once it hit me i woke up but i felt pressed into my bed and i had to make a huge effort just to get out of bed. So i think that could be where the me fighting the supernatural being is coming from. Then i had one tonight where my cat bit my knuckle and wouldn't let go. When i wake up i don't only fear for my life but i also fear that someone is in my house with me and i just don't know it but i also fear going back to sleep. The thought of going back to sleep just makes me want to cry. I currently have a headache and did before i went to bed but now it seems to be strongest in my neck. I know i can't go through this every week especially at the beginning of the week. When i'm this fearful and my dog growls i get freaked out especially tonight right now i'm really just overly scared and i honestly don't know what to do cause i don't like to go to bed because i always have this fear in the back of my mind someone is going to break in and kill me in my sleep. Not sleeping for the rest of my life isn't an option but i am at a complete loss at this point i actually seem to be at a complete loss in most aspects of my life right now. if anyone knows anything and can offer some advice i would greatly appreciate it. But if i have someone else at my house staying the night then i'm fine and can sleep just fine without anxiety locking my doors actually gives me peace of mind when someone is over but when i'm alone it doesn't give me any kind of peace of mind at all. I currently feel that that guy from my nightmare is standing behind me waiting for the right moment and reading this as i type it but i know he isn't there with how many times i have turned around to check. I'm so scared right now that i went into my kitchen and got my biggest knife since that is the only kind of protection i have in my house for myself. Analyzing this myself i know that there is something really wrong with me mentally and i think that i'm crazy especially right now. I honestly don't know if i will be able to go back to sleep tonight these nightmares were worse than last weeks if anyone has any advice i would love to hear it
I have the exact same problems. My husband goes away a lot. I'm no doctor, but you sound like me 6 - 7 months ago when I was in a depressed and manic state at the same time. I was too scared to sleep, and I could feel my hallusinations too. Very terrifying. Hope you can get to the doctor soon. Meds helped me....I think it's time for me to go up in mine for the dreams are starting again. Don't want to start fearing for my life in my own house once more.
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