self-isolating, breaking up

i broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because i cant shake my need to be alone. he is devastated. he is wonderful and i know he would give me any time alone i need but its not enough, and the pressure of any commitment at all feels wrong, like its a promise i know i can't keep.
i still have strong feelings and i care about him a lot but i feel like i am doing the right thing by ending it before i hurt him worse, like acting out and cheating because often when i am manic and reckless i drink too much and have one night stands...and basically i feel that sexual energy is tied to mania and i dont have that with him.
i guess im wondering if anyone else has a similar experience or agrees/disagrees with some of the ideas about being manic/depressive and not being able to maintain close relationships, or at least the stress of being in one.

((((Pittlover))))

Wow thats a rough place to be. I'm sorry you are going through this. All I can do is share a similar experience. Last year I broke up with my boyfriend when I was fresh out of the hospital. I just felt so much like I needed to be alone. Just me and my illness. No pressure, no worrying about being a burden or hurting him, he is a wonderful guy and I was totally in love with him, but I felt like the Bipolar was a pre curser to being alone by choice.

Looking back I felt my meds played a slight role, making me feel flat. I have never cheated so I cannot speak to that, but the rest of your post I can. In my case after a few months we worked it out. I am know I am personally lucky for that. But while it was happening I thought it was what I truly wanted. It was all very confusing.

I hope you can get your feelings all sorted out, and can figure out what you truly want. I think Bipolar and relationships is tricky for anyone, but I don;t think it can;t be done if that is what you want.

I felt the same way when I first started dating my husband. I didn't know I was bipolar, but it made me anxious to be around him. I pushed him away so much. I ended up realizing he was perfect for me...logically, and built on that. Part of me was nervous he was too good for me, and he didn't diserve to be with me. There are days still I don't know why he is. But the sex does wax and wane with any relationship, and one can end up blaming their partner for what is actually a loss of excitment in the relationship. That is a bipolar thing. I'd think a little more on this before you break up with him. Write a pro and con list on a piece of paper and a list of what you want in a relationship and a man...and see if he fits the bill.

He seems as if he would be willing to learn all about what you go thru as having bipolar. You need not do all the stuff you're afraid of if your meds are adjusted. Why not give him a chance to read up, talk about it, and let him decide? Feelings of worthless are very difficult to deal with, and we need to let someone who loves us decide if they love us in spite of our feelings about that.

I did the same things you guys did, and he stuck it out. Now I've been married 24 years.