[28andforward]

My son was diagnosed BP, put on mood stabilizer plus more of the antidepressant he was already taking about 7-8 months ago. Since then he has either been normal or maybe slightly elevated; he thinks he may be pretty much normal . I have to supplement his income almost every month but I feel I shouldn't have to. He says he doesn't know why but he just can't seem to control his spending and feels like he may never be able to. My first question:
Is this a bipolar thing or is he just a spoiled 29 year old?
He was 3 months behind on both utilities and phone and sometimes has to pay a late fee on rent. I have him paid up to date now and am considering taking money for these basics out of his account when he gets paid and paying them myself . Then if he overdraws his account, let him deal with it since his basics will be taken care of. I am so torn over how to try to help him with his spending; any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated .

[DaveyJones]

Hi again...

Overspending is one of the classic indicators for bipolar...go to any BP support group and ask this question...you'll hear almost everyone laughing loudly at themselves and the financial mistakes they have made over the years...I have at least two thought patterns that have led to major goofs, and countless little ones.

The keys to controlling this behavior (I hope) are to control the mood swings with medication and to break the thought patterns with therapy.

So, your son may or may not be spoiled, but reckless spending is definitely a BP thing.

I don't know where you live, but check and see if there is a NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) chapter in your area. They have support groups for the victims of the various diseases, and family members are always welcome. Even if your son won't go, I encourage you to go to a meeting or two for your own support.

DJ

[JustBen]

Yep, DJ is right on the money. Overspending is definitely a BP thing. Have you talked with him about your plan for this account? A lot of folks see the wisdom of this strategy (as long as they're not in a manic cycle). Long-term, he's got to get the behavior under control himself with meds and therapy, but if you can help him not dig the hole deeper while he's working it out, I'd say go for it.

[28andforward]

Thank you for your comments and suggestions; very, very much appreciated. I have a really hard time understanding the spending thing for BPs since I have never known one until my son. He readily accepted being budgeted as described so here's hoping.
Would also like to say how much I appreciate this site where people bare their difficulties so readily; it has helped me a LOT in knowing that he is not faking anything that he tells me. Sometimes reading stuff here is just like listening to him for the last ten years and wondering what on earth was wrong with him!!! Since he was diagnosed and I found this site, it is a comfort to know it is a disease that millions of people have and he is 'normal' by those standards and treatable.
So Thank You to all !
One more question before I shut up: He is refusing to go to therapy any more because the last T just sits there and basically says nothing and then collects $100. Does he need a different T or is that to be expected???? I really feel the 1st T helped him a lot but he talked some and left my son with certain things to do to help his anxiety after most sessions. What should one expect from a T?

[DaveyJones]

I'm glad you're getting answers to your questions, finally...it is very frustrating when you just don't understand. A problem is so much easier to face when you can put a name on it.

Sitting and listening is one of the classic forms of talking therapy...I hate it, too! I say if it isn't doing him any good, find a new one!

DJ