Obsessive Thoughts about Relationships Please help!

I must have found the most wonderful man in the world who has dealt with my ups and downs for over 2 years now. I think I've suffered with bipolar for years and just managed to still be somewhat successful. I probably would be denying I even had a problem if I never met him. He encouraged me to finally talk to my doctor because I was exhausted and had a lot of ups and downs. The downs got worse and worse.

The most recent even that inspired me to ditch my family practioner who would just prescribe a different antidepressant every time I complained of depression. I've been on Lexapro 20 mg for 3 months. (Celexa and Cymbalta prior to that) Cymbalta made me hypomanic!

I had been drinking wine at a wedding and for some reason I started getting upset and thinking how we would never get married or I would never be good enough for him. I even punched him in the head twice while he was driving and then opened the car door while we were on the highway. This finally scared me enough to go to a psychiatric clinic. I am still taking Lexapro plus I have just started Lamictal.

So things brings me to my question. I spend a lot of time obsessing about him and our relationship. I have no reason to think that he is cheating or going to leave me (I punched him in the head for goodness sake and he is still with me!) It seems that any day he strays from his normal routine or acts "off" I start to worry that it must be me or something I've done. I've caught my last two long term bf's of lying by checking their phone records and emails. So of course that is where I go. He has plans with friends over the next few weekends so of course I get nervous and started scouring his internet and phone records looking for the slightest inconsistency. So tonight I see a number that I don't recognize that he talked to for over an hour and I went balistic and starting asking him about it and of course thinking he never said anything about talking to someone for this long. He must be hiding something. Does anyone have these types of thoughts with their relationship? Why can't I ever feel secure? I don't see what else he could do. I'm sick of needing constant reassurance. It ultimately maybe the end of relationship If I keep this up! How can i get past this? Please help.

sorry that you are struggling with this.
i used to be overly upset if my hubby was home late or didn't ring me back etc. then I had some really good Therapy about why I felt like I did and it really helped me to see what was my problem and what was his problem... nobody is perfect. Have you tried therapy? you need someone that you can trust and that understands what you are saying.

i cant give you anything to help make you feel secure, only tell you that you will lose him if you continue to doubt him this way. from what you have described he has done nothing but love and support you, given you no indication that he would be unfaithful so to treat him with so much distrust must be very hurtful to him. when you feel the need to check up on him, you need to ask yourself, has he done something to make me suspect that he is cheating? has he done anything to hurt me that i need to seek protection for myself for? because you are probably thinking irrationnally and you need to bring yourself back to rational mind so that you dont push him away.

Sorry to hear that Sheba, but I know where you stand with relationships. I was horribly obsessive when my ex would go out with her (mostly male) friends. It was so bad that I called her 79 times in the span of 10 minutes (because she wasn't answering) and just paced the house and couldn't sleep. I said some really mean texts to her and just kind of "blew up" over it....

Notice I said that I was obsessive with my EX. We were married for five years and just started the divorce process. Just like BlackPup said, nobody is perfect, and yes, us guys are dogs (to put it nicely) and often show no regard to a woman's feelings and will lie to get out of a sticky situation, but obsessing over it and checking phone bills and e-mails is just going to make you feel worse, even if it "confirms" what you expect.....Your best bet would be to talk to a psychologist and get some therapy, even with your other half if he's willing to go with you.

Hope this helps!

Jeremy