[hartbroken]

I've got bipolar schizoaffective - schizophrenia is among one of the ten most debilitating diseases to mankind on the face of the globe. I'm not sure where they place schizoaffective, but it's no fun either. Who understands? Don't we feel alone? I know I do. My friends, even those who serve on the NAMI board, some don't understand an inkling of what mental illness is. They must think it's the effect of a wrong particular value or viewpoint, and if only that value or viewpoint were corrected, by education or religion, that person wouldn't have the problem.

I am in love with a girl who is in love with me. Problem is that I can't work or else I get manic.. and she doesn't make enough money to be secure enough for me that I won't worry about the finances. It would cut things very close. Most people would tell me, "If you love her, money doesn't matter." But they aren't mentally ill, and don't realize how mental illness stressors come to life in my life through lack of finances, responsibilities of a marriage from me, and any leftover stressors. I could end up in the hospital just because marriage places stressors on me. We're about out of choices on medicine: I take Abilify, Lithium, Klonopin, and I've been prescribed Zoloft and Wellbutrin, but neither seem to help. He won't seem to try Lexipro, plus I've got hypocondriac symptoms, so any new medicine change is a big deal to me.

Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks

[unaluna]

If it puts your mind at ease at all, schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are not related, they just both happen to have the word schizo in them? But if you have schizoaffective disorder, you are not on your way to schizophrenia or anything like that. It's completely different.

[noneedtoknow]

hartbroken,
No words of advice. But I read your post and hear your pain.It ain't easy, that is for sure. Good thought are going out for you. Take care of yourself...one foot in front of the other.

[hartbroken]

Here's what I read from the Illinois Tri County National Alliance for the Mentally Ill newsletter in early October 2011 concerning schizophrenia and schizoaffective:

quote "Schizophrenia also affects mood. While many individuals affected with schizophrenia become depressed, some also have apparent mood swings and even bipolar-like states. When mood instability is a major feature of the illness, it is called schizoaffective disorder meaning that elements of schizophrenia and mood disorders are prominently displayed by the same individual. It is not clear whether schizoaffective disorder is a distinct condition or simply a subtype of schizophrenia." end quote

[unaluna]

Wow I must be thinking of something else. sorry.

[sarek]

I know what you mean. I am on the other side of that same mirror with my gf being the one affected and me trying so very hard to form a beginning of understanding of the way she thinks and feels.
Empathy is not difficult. But actually knowing what someone feels is a lot harder. And its the latter I need to be able to help her.

Originally Posted by hartbroken

..My friends, even those who serve on the NAMI board, some don't understand an inkling of what mental illness is. They must think it's the effect of a wrong particular value or viewpoint, and if only that value or viewpoint were corrected, by education or religion, that person wouldn't have the problem...

??? WHOA! That is VERY weird! It surely doesn't reflect NAMI's viewpoint as I've ever read or experienced it. So these particular people are clearly only expressing their own viewpoints. I'm sorry that's happening and hope that it doesn't taint your view of NAMI. (Doesn't sound like that so much, but just in case...) That said, I've seen some of this too (but not from people there in any kind of official capacity), but chalk it up to some people just can't help themselves, or don't realize how frustrating it can be to hear their personal philosophy extrapolated as the universal "cure". Suggesting things that have helped them manage is one thing, extrapolating into "shoulds" and "if onlys" to preach at others is inappropriate. In the NAMI I go to sometimes, there is a rule that people may only speak from "I" statements. Helps a lot.

Understand your quandary about the relationship thing, I've got issues in that realm too, and therefore not a good source of advice. You will be in my thoughts though!

[tohelpafriend]

I don't want to generalize, but as I read the first post and thought of my own
break with reality many years ago, I think mental illness is experienced in
so may myriad ways by different folks, but most commonly the spiritually
sensitive are vulnerable. I'm not talking religioius spirit; I mean people
who know life is a dream, reality not as it seems; the seekers, those who go
beyond. Again, there is far more to this; I'm not being simplistic. I'm gifted
and artistic and struggle against mediocrity sucking me down. Always
seeking a place to spread my wings.

'don't know what nami is

[hartbroken]

Innerzone, I often generalize, and so I apologize for my frustration at NAMI.. they are a great group of people, made up of mentally ill and non-mentally ill alike. I was refering to one person who is not mentally ill in the organization who seems to fit this mold I was describing. But my delusionary thinking over stepped its bounds. I apologize.

No need to apologize at all, hartbroken!! I've had my share of issues (no need to go into) and had a hell of a time not "going off" on a few people. One time I did (restrained from the level I really felt though) and couldn't make myself go for a considerable time. Rationally I know that nothing's perfect and that many times it's my own issues at play, but...

I, too, get very frustrated with the religion and "right thinking" stuff. Makes me feel like I'm not trying or something, and that I don't really have any business among those who have success with these things. Not that I begrudge them. At all. I'm glad for whatever works for people, but I do feel 'outside of outside' if that makes any sense.

Originally Posted by hartbroken

...But they aren't mentally ill, and don't realize how mental illness stressors come to life in my life through lack of finances, responsibilities of a marriage from me, and any leftover stressors...

Sooo hear you on this. I've managed to work, but it has become harder and harder. I can't even come anywhere close to supporting myself, never have been able to. My sister (who has no such issues) IMs with me, and is kind, but I can't begin to convey just how it is and how "simple" things that others take for granted aren't simple at all for me.