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Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:36 PM
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Feeling sad and sui again. The zyprexa is maybe keeping me in bed crying to music but the same thoughts as last weekend- just different med bottle. Didn't help that someone at lunch- which is supposed to be a fun, weekly thing- was talking about sui and other like topics. I can't go back to PER... yuck. And this is silly. I am not being rational. WTF.
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  #2  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:38 PM
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I'm n0t exactly a bag of sunshine and rainbows,but i can offer you a c0mforting (((HUG)))...
  #3  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:41 PM
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I hope you feel better, Moose. Does your pdoc have an after hours onn call person who can help you? Feeling sui is dangerous.
  #4  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BNLsMOM View Post
I hope you feel better, Moose. Does your pdoc have an after hours onn call person who can help you? Feeling sui is dangerous.
Yes. They have that, or maybe just PER. I was sui last weekend. I don't know why! zyprexa supposed to killl that. Its killed my emotions pretty much bbut not completely obviously.
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  #5  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:48 PM
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I feel weird. Half like I'm weird for going twice in a week. half like I'm weak for having these thoughts. I'm enjoying the music, so why sui?
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  #6  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:49 PM
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do you just feel sui, but in "will not do anything" way... or are you actually danger to yourself?
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  #7  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusHalley View Post
do you just feel sui... or are you actually danger to yourself?
I keep seeing myself swallowing a bottle of pills. They are 6 feet away.
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  #8  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:54 PM
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do you have somebody to call or something to distract with?

and how long usually these thoughts last before they go away?
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  #9  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
I feel weird. Half like I'm weird for going twice in a week. half like I'm weak for having these thoughts. I'm enjoying the music, so why sui?
You aren't weird to go in twice in a week. You are smart to go. I have a friend who went every couple of days for over a month. Sometimes she was admitted and other times she was sent home. The people at the ER gave her nothing but respect.
  #10  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:57 PM
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music ... soothing
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  #11  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:58 PM
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called PER. They are paging her to my number.

I hate this. I am not myself. I haven't been for a week.
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  #12  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 06:10 PM
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Im hope you can get some relief. Tell pdoc everything so that she can better help you. Keep us updated.
Thanks for this!
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  #13  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 06:42 PM
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Yes PLEASE keep us posted!
  #14  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 06:57 PM
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waiting for pdoc to call
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  #15  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 07:17 PM
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((((((Moose72))))))

I hope you are able to find a medication that works for you.
Thanks for this!
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  #16  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 08:11 PM
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Still waiting..... It's been two hours
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  #17  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 08:21 PM
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That's ridiculous! You need help N0W... I wish i could make you feel better Moose!
Thanks for this!
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  #18  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Still waiting..... It's been two hours
Don't you hate that? Can you call back and say that it is urgent? I know you don't want to go there but maybe if you showed up you would be taken seriously and get some help quickly.

It makes me angry when I am asking for help, doing everything right and then I get the brush off. Oh well, don't get me started.
Thanks for this!
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  #19  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 08:31 PM
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I called. They said my NP said shed call me Monday. I told the nurse on the phone everything that was going on and that I didn't think it was a med change only. She was nice and asked how I am now and I said feeling better but that those thoughts scare me. I guess NP wants to see me in two weeks instead of a month.
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  #20  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 08:37 PM
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Sounds like a plan, Moose. If you start to feel worse, call again and let the nurse know. I hope you continue to feel better. I was having similar thoughts last year and I went to the hospital because I started self harming to try to get rid of the thoughts. It sounds like you are on top of things and have insight about your feelings. Hopefully you will get some good sleep tonight.
Thanks for this!
Moose72
  #21  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 09:16 PM
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Thanks.

I feel like two people when these happen. One is rational and the other thinks all the things I've described. And sometimes it's just the unrational. And I get so confused and don't recognize myself anymore.
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  #22  
Old Oct 14, 2011, 09:23 PM
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Yeah, I get that feeling too.

I need to go to bed now. Hang in and hopefully things will be better in the morning.
Thanks for this!
Moose72
  #23  
Old Oct 15, 2011, 03:59 AM
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Oh wow. Just woke up. I was dreaming that non-bf proposed and it was the 1950s. I saw the ring and the small house, the young kids and crayons and toys. It was this huge surprise he put together. Crazy. I've never dreamed that before.
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  #24  
Old Oct 15, 2011, 11:32 AM
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It's funny what our minds can do while we are sleeping.

Are you feeling better today?
  #25  
Old Oct 15, 2011, 12:51 PM
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It sounds to me that you are doing all the right things Moose, though I am a little pissed off a your doctor. It seems to be that she should have called or had PER call, so that you didn't worry. If it comes to you being unable to control your suicidal thoughts, go to the hospital, it doesn't matter how many times you go in a week if you need it. Keep taking care of yourself.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
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