Helpful post-re: repetitive negative thinking

Hi everyone,
Do you have a situation or decision to make that triggers you to then have repetitive negative thinking regarding the situation/decision.

*Repetitive negative thinking such as: But I can't because...., yes but...., if I do then what if... But what if he/she won't ...., etc, etc, etc.

These type of thoughts usually limit you from being able to move forward or from making a decision and sticking to it because of the negative "feelings" that are attached to the thoughts.

Give this a try-

1) Write down (either typing or on paper) what your "feelings" are about the situation or regarding a decision you want to make for the future and how it will make you "feel".

Such as: I will feel worthless, I won't feel appreciated, I will feel unwanted, I will feel like I abandoned so and so. .....Keep going until you are totally done.

2) Think to yourself and let yourself search for the same familiar "feelings".. (NOT same situation necessarily) sometime in your life, then write down when you have felt like this before?

Many times it will be from childhood or early adult yrs. Such as: When I was 10 I felt worthless because my parents didn't show me love or When I got my first job my boss told me I was worthless and useless, so on and so forth. The same "feelings" have probably repeated themselves over the yrs, so you may have several situations to list...or not.

3) What you have just done is shined light onto your "old emotional patterns" in your subconscious mind. Once your subconscious mind is "exposed" to your conscious mind it will not have the same power over you and now you can think "rationally" with consciousness regarding your situation and decision.

Old emotional patterns will plague us when a situation arises that brings those feelings to the surface. We don't know "why" we can't let go of the compulsive negative thinking and it's because the "feelings" have control over us.

We want to do almost anything to not feel the same bad feelings from our past, however when you need to make a decision or change behavior that is not in alignment with running from these old feelings, then you have internal conflict..... then, you suffer...then you feel nuts....then you may become depressed....so on and so on.

Dijmart

This is my biggest issue right now. I'm going to read and write this all down!! Thank you!!

this is helpful, sometimes i can't stop the "tapes" in my brain

I'm on a role, so here's some more....

In your day to day life when you have feelings of fear, sadness, anxiety, etc. arise don't hide from the feelings by covering them up. Don't use alcohol, drugs, food, etc to numb out the pain the feelings cause.

Why? because the feelings will remain. They will return. So, what do you do? Face the feelings...Sit with it, acknowledge it, give yourself compassion, cry/scream, allow it to be as it is.. then....let it go. By the time you have processed the feelings they are usually no longer in your next "present moment" anyways. They remain only in your mind, not as actual threats any longer.

If a person is involved with making you feel this way (someone said something, did something, looked at you wrong), don't immediately go to creating your self to be a victim. Most people (including myself) are so prone to victimizing their situations. Example: How could he/she have said this or that to ME, How dare THEY, who do THEY think they are, etc, etc. Then the "story" in are heads becomes much larger and greater then the actual event that took place to begin with. It becomes YOU vs. THEM.

Why this happens? Because we forget that people aren't perfect. We know we aren't, but somehow feel others should be. The uneasy, unpleasant feelings make us feel small, weak, unworthy and guilty. Then, by blaming this other person for our feelings it somehow boasts us back up, but can potentially cause a greater problem because it has now grown a life of it's own with a plot and story line to boot!

The question to ask yourself would be- If I carry this around with me, dwell on it for days on end, plot my revenge, think of this person endlessly, then WHO is really suffering??? ... You are.

I'm not suggesting that people don't post on this forum with their issues and problems. I have done so myself. I'm only sharing what I am "now" trying to put into practice in my own life. Also, if you have an issue with someone close to you I suggest speaking to them about it before it blows out of proportion.

If any of this rambling I've done helps other people, then great, if it's not your cup of tea, then that's fine also.

Peace and love
Dijmart

This is how I felt all day long. I did drink and take xanx to make it stop. Now I'm left witht the depression I'm supposed to ber feeling. My psychiatrist told me today I had to gain support from my family and ask them for it. Really hard since there are soooo many past issues. I had to ask her how to do it. The trouble I'm having is letting it go, and stopping the reel in my head. You can only sing you are my sunshine so many times to block things out. I really want to know how people learn to let this stuff go. I have no clue...people tell me to, and to not be so hard on myself, and I'm like What? Huh? How does one do that? If I had a scrubber brush I would take one to my mind and just clean it out. If only I could!! Thanks for this help. That's what the site is about to reminde us of these things. I'm glad that people who are in different places stay on!! It's so awesome!!

I had been speaking in generalities for people to apply how they saw fit. Not knowing what is troubling you specifically it will be hard to give advice, but here goes- Don't sing you are my sunshine, if you're not happy. You would be repressing your true feelings. You know you are pulling the wool over your own eyes so to speak. We instinctively want to run from unpleasant thoughts and feelings so we block things out...big mistake.

Investigate it by 1) doing what I said in the first post or 2) putting it into perspective by knowing it is causing you to suffer. How do you get to that place? How do you end suffering? Staying in the present moment. How do you stay in the present moment? Pay attention for a few minutes to your breathing and ONLY your breathing...watch your chest rise and fall, hear the breath go in and out, etc. If you have a thought "watch it", but don't get attached to it...allow it to leave as it came. No attachment to it. You are at that moment "in" the present moment.

Read: The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle or watch his youtube videos. I have read many different things- books and on the internet. It's basically some cognitive skills along with spiritual development- called "enlightenment" or "awakening"...you can look up just those 2 words on the internet and get loads of info or search youtube.

If you have unresolved "stuff" then I would ask is there anything you can actually "do" to change what it is you're thinking about? If not, then your mind is causing you the suffering by holding on to old stuff- the mind/brain likes to problem solve and if there isn't a clear cut solution it sometimes will play over and over and over the same old stuff trying and trying to come to a conclusion or solution....the thing is there may not be one. You may just have to let it go.

Sometimes letting it go means to forgive maybe you need to forgive yourself or maybe you need to forgive someone else. Forgiving is not the same as forgetting, however forgiving is the first step to eventually forgetting- so you don't suffer anymore.

I had a big setback in my thinking this summer, had a manic episode in Aug/Sept...not pretty....BUT I had let myself "forget" everything I had learned in the past. It's easy to do, the ego takes over, you get engrossed in "problems" and boom there you go- you lose yourself! Then illness isn't far behind all that dysfunction, but I'm back now and don't plan on becoming that unconscious again.

Glad to help if I didn't cover what it is that's bothering you let me know, but don't know how long I'll be on tonight, then have to work in the morning, but I will reply when I can.

Dijmart