[dejavu65]

I have a visit to my TDoc on Tuesday. I have been dreading this appointment since it was made three weeks ago. I have always had problems sleeping but it has been a lot worse since making this appointment. The closer I get to the appointment the less I sleep. All these hours awake gives you too much time to think about things you probably shouldn't.

I take three meds a night for sleep and it seems like the mind still decides if I will sleep or not. Any validity to that?

This is probably more of a thread to just get this out of my head. I will probably read this later and not understand it. If it doesn't make sense I will blame it on the lack of sleep.

Aww Dejavu, alot of times when I take my sleep meds nothing happens. My guess too is that my mind is too wound up same as my body to be able to give way to sleep. I guess that's why they are called sleeping "aides" only an aide to sleep.

I'm sorry your feeling so wound up about this app. Is there a particular reason or subject that you are fearing talking about? What if you try writing down want you want to cover in this app. Sort of making a plan for the app. Would that help a bit?

[Secretum]

It makes sense.

Am I correct in assuming that it is anxiety over your appt. that is keeping you awake? You could try to distract yourself with peaceful music and scented candles (just remember to blow them out!) before going to bed. Once you are in bed, just try to relax. Imagine that you are releasing the tension from each group of muscles in your body, starting with your toes and moving upwards.

Whenever unpleasant thoughts attack you, try your best to move them to the back of your mind. Don't be harsh on yourself if you find this task very hard...it is. But it is something that can be mastered, and I believe that it could be very helpful for you.

When you are ready, not necessarily Tues., perhaps you and your tdoc can figure out why appts inspire such dread. Maybe you can even discover ways of lessening it.

Good luck and sleep tight!

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by Anika

Aww Dejavu, alot of times when I take my sleep meds nothing happens. My guess too is that my mind is too wound up same as my body to be able to give way to sleep. I guess that's why they are called sleeping "aides" only an aide to sleep.

I'm sorry your feeling so wound up about this app. Is there a particular reason or subject that you are fearing talking about? What if you try writing down want you want to cover in this app. Sort of making a plan for the app. Would that help a bit?

Anika ... You always seem to be out there looking over us. I appreciate it.

I guess I never thought of them as sleep aids. I have heard that though. "Are you sleeping" seems to be one of the questions that I am always asked. Not sure how it affects us but the moods does get low when I cant sleep for a few days.

I really do not know what to expect out of this appointment. It is about an event so it will all come from memory anyway. I just dread going there. The T said that the first half of the appointment will be pretty rough and then it will be ok after that is over. I don't like sharing some things so I guess that is where the dread is coming from.

[dejavu65]

Thanks Secretum ... I do think this could be anxiety. Not because of the TDoc but because of this appointment. I just dread discussing what I am supposed to on Tuesday.

I have tried relaxing music and I always keep scented wax crock going. Never tried anything to relax. Will try that. As far as putting it in the back of my mind ... that will be hard. It races on these nights and I don't know how to control that. Will give it a try though. Thanks again.

[roads]

Can you envision the session being over? If so, how will you be feeling then?

If you expect to feel better in any sense (relieved, released, whatever), then you're expecting the session to go well. Maybe you can draw some strength & comfort from that. If you can believe it'll be worth it, perhaps a bit of the dread will lessen.

I've been there. Your posting has brought it all back. For me, it was well worth struggling thru--took me a few days to get it tho. I'll be thinking of you.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Imagine that you are releasing the tension from each group of muscles in your body, starting with your toes and moving upwards.

This is called "progressive relaxation" and though it might sound silly, it really works! I bet if you look around online, you can probably find a nice recording of someone calmly talking through the prompts to relax each muscle group. I was trained in how to do this during drama class in high school and it would put every single one of us in the class to sleep!

Good luck finding a method that helps you sleep... I tend to do a sort of visualization where I imagine tomorrow in excruciating detail, and usually by the time I get to breakfast (after getting up, making coffee, and showering) I've fallen asleep.

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

Can you envision the session being over? If so, how will you be feeling then?

If you expect to feel better in any sense (relieved, released, whatever), then you're expecting the session to go well. Maybe you can draw some strength & comfort from that. If you can believe it'll be worth it, perhaps a bit of the dread will lessen.

I've been there. Your posting has brought it all back. For me, it was well worth struggling thru--took me a few days to get it tho. I'll be thinking of you.

Not sure how it will feel after. Never thought of this discussion ever taking place. Thinking back to the time that I had to discuss a suicide attempt, there was no relief after the session. It pushed me back into deeper depression and more sleeplessness. That time I did not have the dread because it came up in a session and I was able to go over that event. It was even a calm discussion. When this thing came up at my last session, everything locked. I just could not discuss it so he scheduled the upcoming appointment just for this.

I dread this and am so beat.

The last few sentences in your post mean a lot. Thanks.

[dejavu65]

AniManiac ... I will google this to see what I can find. Thanks. By the way, I like the screen name.

[dejavu65]

12 hours to go!

[Confusedinomicon]

Good luck!

Try to get some rest.<3

[roads]

With you .
Roadrunner

Good luck, lots of love

[dejavu65]

TDoc session was even worse than I thought it would be. Don't want to do that again.

[roads]

(((dejavu)))

sorry

[dejavu65]

TDoc called today to check in after yesterday's appointment. Never happened before. He asked some questions about how I was doing today. He wanted to know if I thought I would be ok the rest of the week and if so could he set me up an appointment early next week when he is back in the area. At the end of the conversation he said that I need to think about being willing to go into the hospital if it comes to that. That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

[roads]

I sure hear you. Last thing I would have expected.

Hang in. Meeting with him next week?

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by dejavu65

TDoc called today to check in after yesterday's appointment. Never happened before. He asked some questions about how I was doing today. He wanted to know if I thought I would be ok the rest of the week and if so could he set me up an appointment early next week when he is back in the area. At the end of the conversation he said that I need to think about being willing to go into the hospital if it comes to that. That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

(((dejavu)))

That sounds really scary - it's the last thing I would want to hear too!

But anything that's causing this much stress is probably something that needs to be worked out. And it sounds like your T is trying to look out for you, too, so that's good, even if it's really scary. Sometimes other people are better at evaluating how we're doing than we are. I hope you can trust your T to keep your best interests in mind.

We're all rooting for you!

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

I sure hear you. Last thing I would have expected.

Hang in. Meeting with him next week?

You could imagine my surprise.

Yes ... meeting Tuesday afternoon again.

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by AniManiac

(((dejavu)))

That sounds really scary - it's the last thing I would want to hear too!

But anything that's causing this much stress is probably something that needs to be worked out. And it sounds like your T is trying to look out for you, too, so that's good, even if it's really scary. Sometimes other people are better at evaluating how we're doing than we are. I hope you can trust your T to keep your best interests in mind.

We're all rooting for you!

I do trust him. I think he is trying to keep my interest in mind.

[dejavu65]

TDoc called again today to check in. All of this is still worrying me since he thinks he needs to call every day. Would that worry everyone else or am I just reading things into it?

[roads]

Well, you could look at it as his being super responsible in following up something he pressed you into. That's a good therapist.