[~Christina]

hey guys ,

As many of you I had some lousy side effects from my last medication ( Risperdal) .. So my Pdoc wants me to try " fanapt" wanted me to come by the office and pick up samples Of course its a new medication and expensive) today and see him on monday (emergency visit) well I decided i would just wait til monday ,, I hate starting a new medication on the weeekend .. so thats ok per my pdoc .. Apprently this med is use for schizophernia .. which yes i know alot of meds treat bipolar and schizophrenia so Im not too awful concerned about taking the med per say ,.. theres not much on this forum about this medication ... it causes issues with lightheadeness/ fainting and all the typical stuff ,, heartrate problems blahblahblah ..

Today I also recieved my letter of denial from Social security on my request for reconsideration.. IM sooooooooooooooo frustrated my T and Pdoc both argee i am unalbe to work for a variety of reasons ,, my rapid cycling ,, sleeping less than 10-12 hours a week total !!! I am not comfortable driving at all since i drove off the road back in march due to whatever med I was on at the time ( theres been so many ) and lack of sleep ,, I have auditory and visual hallucinations daily ,, they of course get worse when my sleep decreases .. My next step is apparently go to a court hearing or something to that effect with the disability lawyers i hired when i first started this process .. FInacially things could not possible get worse ... i lose my health insurance at the end of the year ..

I know tons of people just want a free paycheck from the goverment so it takes forever for me to have all the paperwork processed .. It took me almost a year to realize i truely needed to file for disability between my fibromyalgia and bipolar ,, i am not at all thrilled about filiing at all ,,but to keep being turned down when according to my pdoc and shrink I cant work .Social security keeps saying i can work.. trust me I wish to god I could work as opposed to dealing with all this paperwork and nonsense ..

Im just having such a rough time right now I have no idea how to deal with the anger , sadness and again feeling like a usless burden to everyone ..

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! I have been in tears all day over the letter and just knwoing im going to start yet ANOTHER medication and concern over side effects has me a complete and utter mess .

Thanks for being able to just vent and whine and cry about stuff on here ,,hopefully it will help me cope better or at least get it off my chest

Thanks everyone

[kaliope]

morethingswrong

Im sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hang in there. Hopefully your pdoc will find the right med. Dont give up.

It took nearly 3 years for my pdoc to find the right med for me. I was on up to 6 meds at one time. Seemed to have tried everything. And I was very antimed going into it but so tired of those rapid cycles. Finally pdoc went old school and after snowing me on Haldol to knock out a bad manic cycle we just stuck with it. Haldol completely stopped those cycles. Never cycled again in the two years Ive been taking it. 1mg a day. Miracle.

So good luck. Hope the new med works.

(((((morethingswrong)))))

Trying different medications can indeed be frustrating. It took me a couple of years to find a combo that worked. Please hang in there - who knows? This medication might be the one that works for you!

I agree with you, it sounds like you cannot work and need that Social Security. I am on disability as well, and although I sometimes feel frustrated that I can't work, I'm glad to have that support until I'm able to work. I hope you win your appeal, and get accepted.

[roads]

Seems appropriate, morethingswrong, to feel "a complete and utter mess" just so long as you know you're not. All things considered--what you're going through--most people would feel that way.

So you come on here & moan & whine & rant & vent all you want. Pretty soon it'll be someone else's turn, & you'll be here for them/me.

Sure wish social security would display some common sense in your case. Have you called on your congressperson & senator?

Roadrunner

[~Christina]

Thanks Kaliope and Melissa ...

I am trying to remain as positive as possible ,,but im just getting so wore down from lack of sleep , side effects and just mental and physical exhaustion ..

Thanks for the support
I would like just 1 damn thing to go right for me ...Its been so long since something just worked out for me.

[SunAngel]

Morethingswrong, did you get an attorney to help you out with disability?

It is a total ***** trying to get disability without an attorney. If you don't have one, get one to help you out.

I think the med you are talking about is Geodon, and yeah, it's a newer med and can be expensive. Have your pdoc give you samples each and everytime you go to him/her if the med works out for you.

I want to wish you all the luck in the world, on both fronts.

[~Christina]

Roadrunner ,, Thanks so much .. I hate to whine in general but today is one of those days the tears keep coming .... Thanks for always being there for me (((hugs))
Ps love your name ,,I use to have roadrunner intenet when I lived in florida LOL so everytime I see you I think of my old super fast inernet LOL

SunAngel .. Yes I hired an attorney when I first applied ,, Honestly theyhave done nothing for me up until this point ,, I got all kinds of paperwork from ss to fill out and i called the lawyer and they said "oh just fill it out " Okay so 3 packages of questions a first denial and now denied on my reconsideration.. so apparently at this point my lawyer will get involved .
The new med isnt Geodon ..I had researched that one ,, this " fanapt" stuff just came out last year ,, some of the side effects concern me but will talk to pdoc monday .. this new one is for schizophrenia.. I know alot are used off lable for bipolar ( i know latuda is one ,, tried that before )

Im just hoping something will work out eventually ..

Thanks Thanks Thanks !!!

Ooooooh, morethingswrong!
Wishing you luck on all fronts -- I can scarcely imagine how unbelievably frustrating all that must be!!! (Certainly puts my stuff in perspective! ) You are very strong, even if you don't feel like it, you are!

By all means, vent, vent, vent! That's such a big reason we're all here, you know? To be heard and understood and comforted in knowing that others care, you know?

Lots and lots of , morethingswrong! Holding you in my thoughts...

How are you doing today?

I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I really hope that this new medicine evens you out. It's totally understandable for you to be feeling the way you are. I haven't been through that so I'm sorry I have no advice for you but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and I hope everything works out (soon)

[~Christina]

How do I feel today ??? Well I went to bed last nite and slept for about 2-3 hours and then just took another round of my sleep meds so i got a few more hours .. It was either knock me down or I was going to get so flipped out over it that i was going to lose it .. MY Pdoc has told me in the past that if push comes to shove to go ahead and double dose to knock me down,, we are trying soooooooooooo hard for me to stay out of the damn hospital so this latest lovely news has the potential to put me there ..
I spent most of the day just in bed looking out the window ... its been cold here and we have just 2 small ceramic type heaters for the house so it rountinly in the depth of winter will be 40 degrees in the house so staying in bed is usally wise for me and my fibro .. we literally just cant afford to heat the house using propane .. so we wear tons of layers and loads of blankets .

So yes it would have been nice for my disabilty to come thru so i could at least afford to put some propane in the tank and use when it gets really bad ,, But 100 gallons( miminium ) is almost 400 bucks ...

I just get upset that according to my doctors and therapists i qualify easily yet the damn state sees it otherwise ,, Id like them to come into my home and eat how i have to eat ( poorly due to lack of funds) and be cold for months on end .. maybe then someone woould get some common sense ,, Yeah Im still livid ,, Sorry for the rant ..

My husband and i have discussed droppiing our internet even tho we are under contract for another year ,, but he knows if we have nothing to do we will both go nuts and probably fight more just due to our circumstances ,, so anyone thinking i have everything and all that mess and i could give up things to have other more important stuff ,, trust me its not true ... ...

Just seems to me that i worked all my life and paid my taxes and i need help and cant get it .... yet someone can come to this country illegally and have tons handed to them ,, Ok im dont with that rant ,, hope none was offended .

You all really help me so much ..Its a godsend to know i have somewhere to come and rant and not get yelled at for being mad/sad/or irratated.

Thanks guys

(((((morethingswrong)))))

Sending you plenty of warm hugs, and a cup of hot chocolate! I can relate to not being able to turn up the heat...when I lived with my dad, we usually had to go without heat because we couldn't afford to buy oil. That included cold showers too! I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts, you deserve to be helped.

[~Christina]

(((((( Melissa )))))) thanks hun

[Rosie23]

I feel your pain. My husband was disabled for years and he was denied social security over and over again and we finally hired an attorney and had a hearing and he won. And the attorney was paid from the initial sum he got from S.S. so no out of pocket was paid on our part.
So don't give up yet. Find an attorney who specializes in S.S. claims and do everything they tell you to do.
Good Luck!

[~Christina]

I hired a lawyer the day I filed for ssd .. I just knew that it was going to come to needing that lawyer ,,they only get a % of payment if I recieve SSD ..

Just such a shame people we really need the help have to fight tooth and nail to get anything .

Thanks Rosie

[tnlibrarian]

No advice...but I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. All I can do is send hugs and love.

((((morethingswrong))))

You still have my thoughts and support. I really pray you get your SSD. Something just has to work out for you sooner or later. I wish you the strength to keep up the good fight. I'll keep you in my prayers, you really deserve a break.

[~Christina]

(((((Anika)))) thank you hun