Hasn't been a good day

The past two days, it seemed like I was doing better. Yesterday I had no mixed states, very little cycling and very little mania. Today, however--holy crap. Cycling like crazy, mixed state all day and sooo irritable and argumentive at times. I think I have PMS so I'm sure that's contributing but still.....not fun.

I also get thrown into depression by a discussion with my husband. A guy apparantly started having horrible hallucinations, thought two girls he didn't know and his girlfriend were monsters who were after him and shot them. My husband is reading it and goes, "These mentally handicapped--no mentally ill but still, mentally handicapped, people should never be allowed to get their hands on guns because they do crap like this." I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. Then he said that "those people" are too dangerous to have weapons. I was absolutely shocked. Then I asked him if he thinks mentally ill people are destined to spend their lives locked up and he said maybe, but he thought I was a ways from that.

I was so depressed the rest of the day. My husband is one person who never viewed me as one of "those" people or ever talked about mentally ill people like that. Now I'm regretting telling him I've been having some hallucinations (more have occured--that's for another post) and has never indicated that he thinks I might eventually be "locked up" for good. I'm just so, so, so hurt. He told me he was sorry and that he didn't mean it that way. He said he just didn't think about my own illness when he said it.

I really hate the way people view the mentally ill. I wish they realized that only a very small percentage do the things you read about in the news. I especially wish my husband didn't have to take that attitude.

Even if you DID get bad enough to get a gun, he should be there and support you. Bipolar is soooooooo misunderstood.

Im sorry you had to be exposed to such insensitivity, especially by your own support system. People are so ignorant when it comes to mental illness. We just have to take every opportunity we can to educate them.

I just went through it earlier this week at work with a social work intern no less. She was decorating the office for christmas and i was less than enthusiastic explaining how it was triggering me and I was still overwhelmed from our experience last year. She told me to "get over it". I got right up in her face and explained as calmly as i could that you NEVER tell a severly mentally ill person to "get over it" She apologized and explained that she just has a hard time seeing me as mentally ill.

I hope that your moods stabilize and you get to feeling better. Hugs

Sorry for the way your day went. I have to wonder if your husband had a moment in time where he was just "talking to his wife" like any husband would, just discussing rhetoric about the world in general wherein he had a moment just with "you" WITHOUT your illness "listening in".......the thought came to my mind that maybe your husband really tries to maintain a supportive and caring posture with you but may, at times simply want to express how he feels about something without measuring his words for fear of hurting you. It could be that he honestly did not think about how you might hear those words and then it "hit" him after he said it and followed it up with, "you have a ways to go..." then again...I don't know your dynamics with your hubby and as tough as it is for you...I bet it's tough for him at times too to always be on guard with his words so he doesn't hurt you....he's still just a human and he will make his mistakes. Unless he's a real jerk, I can't imagine he would ever intentionally say or do anything to hurt you on purpose. Only you could know the answer to that. From what you say, he's always been pretty supportive of you and understanding...he may have just been thinking out loud and didn't realize how what he said would sound to you. Maybe you can give him benefit of doubt...although, I can understand why you would feel as you do....be well and I wish the very very best for both you and your husband....

Oh no! I think although that was so insensitive for him to say, I think maybe he wasn't thinking when he said it. After all, you're his wife, he probably isn't able to see you in the category which he has boxed up all those "mentally ill" people or "those people." I know my mom had cancer for 11 years but my dad was in horrible denial that whole time because he just didn't want to believe that she was ill. He talks about it now and how he could have done better by her if he just admitted it.

Just let him know it hurt your feelings (in a calm way,) and hopefully he won't do that again. Besides, like you said so many people are not mentally ill who commit violent crimes, (although it does happen, but you need the right combination of personality, illness, and treatment level.) But that sounds more like a drug induced hallucination to me....