New pdoc Appt

So I saw my new pdoc today. It started off rough as I was the first person there but the last to be called and had to go check with the desk to get the guy to come out and finally meet with me. I was so tired I had already nodded off several times in the waiting room.

He started out saying that he was going to ask me a long list of questions and I'd have to be patient with him. Boy was he right as I battled through the barrage of questions and answers. Then we got to my alcohol use...

He finished up typing and said he was going to tell me what he thought.
Here's a jist of how that went:

"I feel that alcohol is a big part of your life. You're a functioning alcoholic. You may get to work and be able to cut back on your days at work, but you constantly think about alcohol and go all out when you have the time. You're killing yourself drinking on your meds. I can't ethically continue to prescribe you these medications knowing that you're drinking and to give them to you is killing you. You can and will die from this. I think I'm going to have to discontinue your medication. You need to be careful because you'll probably go manic. I need to suggest we admit you to our 28 day substance abuse program today to get this under control"

I just shook my head at him and told him there is no way it would work for me to go into a program like that. no way i could miss that much work. i wouldnt have a job. he said he would go get the head doctor and discuss it with her.

Then she came in and asked me a few more questions about why I was there, if i beleived my former dx was correct and wanted a better explainantion of how much I drink other than the "2-22" drinks I told the man. I told her, "It depends on the situation. I have the ability to have 1 or 2 with a meal and stop at that. I also have the ability to start the night out by drinking a 5th of liquor and then continue to drink on top of that."

At that response her jaw dropped, she put her head in her hands and said "Oh my". She suggested I seriously consider the 28 day program and that I need to catalog my drinking between now and the next visit. She said they would discuss the seriousness of the matter with their in house addiction specialist. She also ordered a full battery of tests.

I followed the man to a lab room where they collected 4 viles of blood and a urine sample. He said I was going to get an EKG but that never happened for some reason.

I could see this coming from a mile away, yet it still was a major shock to me. They told me 3 years ago i needed to go to rehab but i never did. I know I'm killing myself with my drinking but i just dont seem to care. Sorta lost at the moment. Next visit Jan. 27th.

You're only 22 or 23. I think this is a good idea- to go to the center. If you're doing it to be self-destructive I understand- from a bp pov- but at the same time, your siggie not withstanding, I think they are right.

I think it's time to go to rehab. We're all pulling for you.

I'm thinkin I'm gonna try to kick it on my own before I go and do anything that drastic. I quit for a while after my hospitalization, but then i turned 21 and was still caught up in the college drinking scene. maybe now since im out of that i can kick it for good.

There is a book about alcoholism that I really like. It is pretty cheap on ebay and this one has free shipping http://www.ebay.com/itm/350510203701...#ht_1070wt_905 Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism

My dad is an alcoholic. I've had him nearly die at least twice of it. Please go the hospital route. Its there for your safety in detoxing. Its really NOT a good idea to try it alone. My dad would've died had my uncle not come home and called for an ambulance. This is serious, P.

What I don't understand is they think I'm dependent, yet I haven't touched a drop since Sunday and feel fine. Why couldn't I just continue to not drink.

When I was in college before I went to the hospital, yes I was surely dependent. I was drunk for a month straight. And they gave me 2 doses of anti withdrawal meds and i didnt drink for 6 weeks after that.

I just really dont know what a rehab place could do for me that I couldnt do myself

Keep you SAFE!

safe from what? and i really hate the idea of being locked up again

Safe while you detox. That is the biggest priority. Its no joke. You can't help yourself if you pass out and vomit and choke and practicaaly DIE like happened to my dad. If nobody's there, you're dead. I say again- this is not quick business but it is SERIOUS business.

Yeah... Don't take this wrong, but I'm not surprised they said this. Still, it sucks to hear them actually say it, yeah? This is an area I tend to tread lightly, because though it's never really gotten out of control, neither have I been a saint in this. But... I have spent a lot of time hanging out with people who drink as you describe. And it scares me. Here are people I care about -- you included -- and I don't really know to say it. One of the things is what your new Pdoc said... the constant thinking about it.

Having a self-destructive streak myself, I totally know what you mean when you say you don't seem to care. Still, I really hope you give it serious consideration.

You know we really like you here, right?

I know you all seem to like and care about me here. just hard to think i cant do something on my own

Binge drinking is still considered alcoholism, and I can say from experience that alcohol keeps your meds from working right. I think you should absolutely go to rehab and take a moment to think about the fact that you want to be well. You do want to be well right? That is why you went to your appt... I know it may sound harsh, but I think you will be surprised once you are clean and on your meds for a while. Good luck, I wish you health and happiness

Im going to have to agree with all the others advice here..

Going off alcohol on your own can kill you .. going thru a Detox program keeps you safe and they can monitor you to make sure you dont crash.

Your a young man with many many years yet to live and you owe that to yourself and your loved ones.

Good Luck with your decision

Yeah, I totally understand that.
This would be a good question for your next appt.
I don't know enough and can only think of people and situations that I've personally known, not the medical ins and outs. For some people I've known, it was court-ordered detox, and there was no two ways about it (and TG not lonewolf DIY as it got pretty ugly mentally and physically.) Others self-admitted, but only after losing everything. Others have self-admitted before it got to that. Others have gone the DIY route. There are obviously be some variables to consider for what would be appropriate to a given situation. See what they say. It would be good to understand their reasoning.

(You would not believe how long I spent writing this, thinking, re-writing and debating what constitutes TMI, especially in consideration of how the people I know would feel about it. Ultimately, I opted to spare you the novel version. Lol. No ****, I've been at it all night(!) At least it's (very!) concise now... )

That's the worst part - realizing there's something you probably can't handle alone. We put such stock in our sense of independence and self-sufficiency sometimes. I really struggle with this at times; being independent and self-contained is so much of my identity that it's a huge blow to my ego when I have to rely on others' help.

Well, I agree with others - I'm pulling for you, and it sounds like you really need to kick the habit. You know it. We know it.

If you think you can handle DIY, maybe you can talk them into it - are there other programs besides a 28-day detox that might be an option? But they probably want you inpatient for a reason. And if it's your health or your job, well, you need your health more! (not to trivialize employment issues, mind you...)

Your work has to give you FMLA time if you request it. I'm not sure if that will cover a whole 4 weeks, though. If not, maybe they will consider some other arrangement - you just got salaried, right? So they have some investment in keeping you around. They might be more flexible than you would expect, but you'd have to have a discussion about it.

Anyway, sorry I can't offer any solutions. It sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place with this. It also sounds like everyone wants what's best for your health and I usually figure that's something worth paying attention to. Sorry it's going so rough for you, but keep on keeping on...

Rehab will help teach you the skills you need to move forward in life without alcohol...it's not about being locked up, it's about making a choice for yourself that can help get you on a different path in life...one that can take you to your potential rather than staying stuck in the rut that you've been in...all I can say is TRY IT...you always have the option to go backwards...(oh and we can all find excuses for why we can't do something...but what is an excuse really??? Giving ourselves permission to fail at something...RIGHT?!?! No matter what...we're here for you!

When I was in the psych ward one time, there was an alcoholic there detoxing. He died in his sleep due to the withdrawal. It was horrible. Know you can die detoxing on your own. With the amount of alcohol you have been consuming, the risk is very high. You won't have to worry about losing your job if you die trying to detox

I think you should consider the possibility that you have a drinking problem. But, no amount of rehab is going to work well unless you decide you need help.
You sound like an intelligent guy who understands the risks of mixing the drugs and booze. But the stickler is the part about you not caring. Sounds like if you cared, possibly you wouldn't need to drink???
I hope you make the right choices. Have 2 siblings who are alcoholics. It's hard.

Miner,

I was an alcoholic for years. I did quit on my own eventually, but I really really desperately wanted and needed it, for the sake of my children and my own life. Detoxing alone was hard as hell. I had delirium tremors, something I was not prepared for. I do think people can do it on their own, but you have to want it bad enough to succeed, like your life depends on it.

I have to agree with your dr's and the connection between bipolar meds, alcohol, and a possible death sentence. My father also was Bipolar I, and an alcoholic. This played out like a long painful suicide in my opinion. It eventually killed him at age 55. Far to young, he did die directly from alcohol consumption combined with his medications. It's hard for me to talk about this or accept it. He left three daughters behind and grandchildren he never got to know. He never did get to fix his relationships with us. And I have a very hard time admittedly forgiving him for this.

This is serious business. I don't want to sound so serious but alcohol destroys lives. I really don't want you to suffer more, I hate to sound like a lecturer but we all care about you here. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Sobriety has been the biggest best gift I have ever received. There isn't enough words to explain how sobriety has impacted my life for the better. I consider myself lucky to be alive, having numerous close calls myself from alcohol consumption that landed me in the hospital. And that still wasn't enough for me to quit. I wont get into the gruesome details here of why I finally did quit.

I guess I'm trying to say that sometimes our alcohol addictions are bigger than we realize, sometimes we do need extra help to overcome them longterm. Just know that you have the love and support from us here however you decide to tackle this. I will support you 100% in this because I know there is something better waiting for you.

Ok done my lecturing now. You know I care. Let us know how things are going ok?

I tried to quit on myself 100's of times. Never worked. I finally went into detox and kicked it fro a few moths but went right back to drinking. Then I decided to give AA a try...knowing that if I did not kick the drinking I was going to die soon. It worked and I have been sober goi on 6 years now. I have whats called a Alchol indiced Cardiomyopathy and I have an internal pacemaker that keeps me alive now.

Hey manicminer, how are you doing? I know your forum time varies with your work schedule, and maybe it's just that, but... Thinking about you and if you could check in, that'd be great. Hope you're doing well.

Detox is good to keep you safe during the withdrawals. If you've already "detoxed" on your own rehab isn't a requirement to get sober. I got sober without going away. Just decided to take a year off of drinking to prove I could. Its possible!!

I can see the wheels turning!

thinking of you......

hope you are ok

Please check in and let us know that you are ok