(sorry really long) I think I might be bipolar 2 might be connected to briggs myers

Hello all.
First of all I don't have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, I have clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I was first diagnosed with the depression at the age of 19 and it has been an on again off again battle, peaking last month at the age of 31 thought very strongly about killing myself, though I didn't attempt to and got help. They then put me on the mood stabilizer lamictal. I looked it up and found out it was for bipolar disorder. I even asked my psychiatrist if he thought I was and he said not at all, but it has shown effectiveness in treating medication resistant depression. So right now I take 1 mg of klonopin twice daily, 450 mg wellbutrin and 25 mg lamictal. I swear after I was on the lamictal I felt a little strange, like I had real clarity and felt really positive, but then I got used to it and now I just feel flat, like I am not really feeling, but not depressed. Then I started thinking...it might just be the power of suggestion but when I was 19 I used to have these periods of time where I was a very happy positive person. I sometimes skipped classes in college to research things and stuff like that. I graduated with a 2.8 and honestly I think it was mostly because I didn't go to class enough, due to depressed days, days I just couldn't deal with being around people, but sometimes it was because I just had an almost compulsive desire to just do my thing and the heck with it all. I might have been bordering on an internet addiction (didn't have access til I started college) and I had compulsive actions like I obsessed over what classes to take (added and dropped them, trying to get my schedule just right) I don't do it as much but I do sometimes get into obsessive planning mode (wedding dresses even though I don't date, I even once planned how I was going to homeschool my child, sometimes in detail when I didn't even have one yet) but I digress, that is probably some OCD. Anyway, I have never done anything destructive other than not going to class enough in college, wasting too much time on the internet, but never to anyone's detriment post college anyway, of course being 300 pounds is kind of destructive but no gambling, shopping, sexual behaviors, drinking or drugs, etc that you sometimes hear about with bipolar 1. (sorry if I am overgeneralizing) What made me have an aha moment is one of my obsessions is the briggs myers personality theory. I actually have moments when I am sure I am IS(N)FJ and other moments when I am positive I am an ES(N?)FP. In other words sometimes I am super responsible, organized, plan well, and other times I can be somewhat spontaneous, want to be around people more, and feel full of ideas. It is at these times I tend to have more energy and seem to be more open and flexible. There are lots of other reasons someone can use both sides and I think the only reason I ever thought I was an N was my compulsive planning for the future but the thing that gets me is that J and P, I feel strongly that sometimes I am one or the other and if you know anything about the theory it isn't that you are a J or a P because technically everyone is both, it is which way of thinking do you use more, anyway I just wondered if anyone else feels this way about myers briggs, and if you think it is possible I am bipolar 2. I was kind of hesitant about being officially declared bipolar as I am a payee for 2 of my family members (never had a problem and manage money well) and my sister is bipolar 2 and they made her have a payee for a long time even though she never had any impulsive actions with money or anything... Sorry if this post is rambling and confusing, I am just kind of excited about this as it frustrated me to no end that I couldn't fit in any category all the time if that makes sense, and now I might have a reason sort of.also I don't know if I really understand hypomania well but when I have this feeling I sometimes I lose sense of time a little. I have stayed up all night to play a game or something because I was so into it and my mind couldn't shut down, but I don't know if that is what hypomania is really like. but I think everyone has fought sleep at one point or another because they were enjoying what they were doing, and it isn't like I do it all the time or even most of the time. And some things I did in college might be passed off as immaturity but I would love to know exactly what box I fit in. I don't know why but I have a very strong desire to be labeled. Like I want to read something and be like yup that is me. I wonder why that is? Maybe I want to find someone who is like me so I don't feel like the only one who feels this way or something.

Hi Adelissa! Well, you know, we really can't diagnose here, so...I'll go to the other stuff.

I wouldn't make too big a connection on the Lamictal... lots of things are used off-label (another good example is anti-psychotics... it doesn't necessarily mean someone has psychosis, it's just that it's something that might work). In fact, my BF also goes to my psych, and she has mentioned the possibility of trying mood stabilizers, and he has depression, not bipolar.

Onto the Myers-Briggs! I was rather into this a number of years ago, finding it quite interesting. As far as the fit goes for that, I'd be an INFJ. I used to think it was a P, then when I had a lot of up in the air things that couldn't be settled for a considerable time, I got very anxious about it, and didn't like it at all. Which made me realize that I really hadn't had a very accurate insight into myself on that (which of course is one of the limitations of its accuracy).(Since then, a T that I knew just as an aquaintence, not professionally, was talking about Ennaegrams(sp?), and I found that a frighteningly close fitting system, far more --for me-- that MB.) Anyway! (Lol, I digress a lot too! ) I very much relate to what you say about the Myers-Briggs, in that I seem constitutionally incapable of answering so many questions w/o disclaimers. Especially, as is your experience, on the I/E scale. You also have a rather indistinct S/N. No worries, lol, balance is nice! (I've seen too where they designate even splits with an X.) You show a good understanding of MB in pointing out that it is a preponderance of tendencies, not absolutes, which does seem to confuse a lot of people.

I don't think any meaningful connection can be made between MB and BP. Interesting that you find a stong need for labels. I kind of have to laugh, because it's familiar in that...at the same time I'm a total sucker for personality questionnaires, I'm sooo not a box-able person nor do I want to be(!) Lol. Just hopelessly curious what people come up with on a fascinating topic I guess(!) I completely relate to what you say about knowing that somehow, at some level, you're not alone in this and that there are others who understand. Which is why PC is so great!

Without repeating what Innerzone said...

I had a boss in the past whose job involved Meyers-Briggs stuff. She said one of the greatest problems with it is that people don't understand that it should be contextualized. So when you answer, you should be thinking of "me at work" or "me at home" because people really do answer differently for different social contexts. You might want to try it sometime and see if that clarifies anything for you.

I also get a split response to the MB, though. The I and E switch around by mood. When I'm up, I'm an E. When I'm down, I'm an I. But I never really made the connection to mood before - it makes a ton of sense for me, so thanks for that! And I'm 100% consistent on the rest of it - NTJ (strongest on the N and J). But I also find that I score an "I" if I'm thinking about workplace contexts, and an "E" if I'm thinking about informal contexts. So the context part probably plays into it as well.

IZ, I've not tried the Enneagram, but I'll have to do look it up. My mom was pretty into that for awhile and I remember books about it floating around my house when I was a kid.

So, to throw another personality test into the mix... Tried the Big 5 yet? I got an OCEAN the one time I took it: Open to new experiences; Conscientious; Extraverted; Agreeable; and Nervous/high-strung.

I am OCIAN but some things were near the middle like I am 56% introverted, and 60% Conscientious

I am unemployed right now but that does make a lot of sense, like how you act when you need to act like that vs how you really are. I think my baseline is ISFP but I sometimes can be really J when I am stressing about something and also I don't really socialize much so when I do I am all out E so maybe it wouldn't seem so different if I hung out with people more. Good thinking I still wonder if someone who is bipolar might test differently depending on baseline or manic. I read an interesting article about how bipolar should be seen as a spectrum and not one or the other. I think I have some mild form at least because I have mood swings a lot and sometimes I get to talking and I can't make myself shut up but otherwise, I am thinking I might have been what I think is called disociating in college. Not like multiple personalities but a lot of my youth I feel like was a dream world and I was looking at it from the outside. IDK but I am the kind of person that wants to go backwards to figuring out who I am and what is going on today. I need a "tell me about your childhood" therapist lol.