Really Want To Stop Meds - Input Appreciated

Hi all,

The title says it all. The more I think about it, the more I feel like my true self is being hidden and masked by the meds I'm on, and I'd like to stop them. The impulsive part of me wants to stop cold turkey, but I know that's just not safe. Plus, I've tried it before and was unable to due to severe side effecs. Here's what I'm currently taking:

Seroquel XR - 350mg at night
Zoloft - 200mg in the morning
Lamictal - 100mg 2x/day
Tegretol - 200mg 2x/day

Actually, I can't stop the tegretol because I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. But the rest...I'd like to stop.

I am supposed to get a call on Monday from my pdoc's secretary about his opinion on me going off Seroquel XR (it's the first one I want to stop...if anyone else has taken it, they'll understand why). I hope he's on board. And then I'd like to taper off the other medications as well.

But for some reason, I just really want to stop them all NOW. And see who I am beneath all these pills. I feel like my very being is poisoned by these drugs.

it is very common to want to get off meds. and it is also common to think that our meds are masking who we really are. but if you are on the right meds, at the right dosage, the quality of life you have will be such that you will feel the benefits of taking your meds are worth any side effects you may be having. you shouldnt be so drugged up that you cant think clearly, or cant get your words out, that is not a quality life - i refused to take any drugs that impacted my cognitive abilities. i need my mind. i need to be able to communicate my thoughts.

i was very antimed, but after 30 years finally came to the realization that i could no longer go unmedicated. it took three years to find the right med...i refused everything that had a side effect that i felt diminished me...i am high functioning, intelligent and work with the public. i need my wits about me. but eventually, to the consternation of pdocs who wanted me to try higher doses of meds i felt didnt work, that i didnt like side effects of, i stood my ground and insisted they try other drugs. we finally found one that worked with side effects that i was ok with and i feel fully functioning on. it just takes time and patience and a pdoc willing to work for you.

good luck.........

Good Luck .. Just make sure your Pdoc helps you get off the meds safely.

I hear you, Melissa.recovering. And I stand here cheering everything kaliope says.

I was diagnosed late in life and graced with a magnificent pdoc right off. We've had to struggle to get the right meds, tho--he & I have come to the Arena only once when I demanded he go back to the prescribing square one, again. It was a battle worth the fight.

I deal with minimal brain fog and side effects. Being bipolar is part of my life along with my alcoholism, and I lead a productive life working with my support team close at hand. You have to do the work & keep up the maintenance, but the payoff's huge!

Altho I really want to dump my med box, myself, I have to agree with Kaliope. Plus, The only safe way is to do it with pdoc guidance. I'm trying to ease off on some meds myself, with help, but she's not going nearly as fast as I'd like to go, and it can be frustrating at times. We just need to hang in there and inch our way off the meds in a safe manor. I know for me, the fast route, via the hospital, isn't an option. No decent psych unit near by.

So I'll hang in there if you will.

I don't think you need to quit taking all of your medication. Honestly, I would love it if I could go without medication but my "real" unmasked self is unpleasant to be around. I'm in a middle of an episode right now and EVERYTHING makes me cry. I listen to a funny musical and thinking about sobbing my brains out because there was a break-up and sad fantasy in it. (Gay guy thinks his roommate said he loves him, but wakes up and realizes it was a dream) I'm like an emotional wreck when I'm not taking something.

What my doctor and I have done is decrease the medications I'm taking by A LOT. I'm at 900 mg of Lithium and 50 mg of Seroquel. I still feel, don't have the fog, but I'm not crying every time I turn around and I'm maintaining my lifestyle. When I go into episodes, we increase one of the meds or add something until it passes and then I go down again.

Based on my experiences when NOT medicated, I don't recommend pulling the plug entirely.

I was only on an SSRI at the time, but when I came off, I was a wreck. A weepy, *****y, whiny, sniveling, hyperactive, irritable, snippy, hysterical wreck. I didn't know I was bipolar at the time, nor did I even realize how awful I was until one afternoon when I was standing in the shower crying for NO FREAKING REASON. I wasn't depressed, I had everything in the world going for me......and I couldn't shut off the waterworks.

So I went on Wellbutrin, which was a complete disaster for me as I think it made me manic---I was constantly amped up on anger and I went off at the drop of a nickel. The rage went away when I came off of that, but then the depression came back and then the mixed episode that started around Christmas and has continued, although it's been a lot better since I started Lamictal. Now I'm on that, plus Celexa 20 mg. and Ativan 1 mg at night, and things are finally starting to even out.

I asked my family to slap the stupid out of me if I ever talk about coming off meds again......I hate having to take pills to be "normal" but I don't ever want to have another mixed episode again. And I'm terrified that I will if I stop the meds. That's my two cents' worth, anyway.

I can totally relate Melissa. Do any of us really want the meds, probably not. I really really want off them.

Going off all of them tho, cold turkey...eeeeks. I know it's tempting , but it really isn't a good idea for a lot of us. You have the right idea about talking to your pdoc about the seroquel. Hopefully they will help you taper off. I know some people have gone off their meds and have done ok. But I think for most of us a very slow, well thought out, well planned attempt would be for the better. I've been working towards getting med free at a very slow pace. I did drop from six meds to 2 meds, but I think the last two meds will be the hardest. I honestly think it might take me a year or more to actually come off the last two.

If you want to try the med free route then I think it's really important to pick up as many skills and tools as you can, and develop them as much as you can. Everything from sleep routine, diet, exercise, meditaion or tools for the mind, perspective. I know you've been working hard on things. Just keep going with that. I think if it's well planned out and slow enough the chances of success can be higher.

I think it's pretty natural to have the want to try and do this own with out meds, you will never really know till you try, but careful planning and safety nets I think are almost a must.

Try to limit withdrawal symptoms by weaning off slowly. The doctor can help with this but you can also do it on your own. If you do go off medicine altogether (except for the Tegretol) then obviously it's important to keep track of things. You can do that with a journal, therapy, Psych Central, etc.

Are you considering replacing prescription medication with something else?

I like what Anika said there.

Last September I lost my insurance so I stopped taking medicine but I wish I was still on it. I've been trying alternatives to prescription medicine like inositol and omega 3 fish oil pills. Still need more time to find something that works although fish oil looks promising so far.

Anyway, I hope you plan it out and monitor any changes. Good luck.

FWIW I am tapering off Lamictal this week (new p-doc's advice, not my decision), and it goes like this:

from 100mg at night to

50 mg at night for one week

then off completely

Obviously since you are taking twice as much for starters, you will take longer to taper off.

I was taken off a huge (more than twice yours) dose of Seroquel XR in favor of Lithium, at my request, in a matter of several days. But it was on a psych unit - I guess, they can afford to move things along more swiftly. From what I read on this board, tapering off Seroquel at home takes time.

I have never taken Zoloft.

Of course, your doctor will be the better source of advice. But I do recommend ranking these medications in terms of perceived unpleasant impact on you, and tapering off one by one - may be you will like being somewhere in the middle. Just do not stay on Zoloft without the protection of Seroquel - you might go manic. Just thinking out loud.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies.

My pdoc's secretary called today, and said that my pdoc asked if I could come in tomorrow. Of course, I said yes. Quite happy that they were able to make a quick appointment...we'll see what happens tomorrow!

Another important factor if you wanna come off meds is to do it when you are in stable phase in your life. Do not mess with your regimen (if it is working) if you are at the same time going through some life changes or drama.

Do it slowly and preferably under supervision. Learn alternative coping mechanisms, because you WILL get bit more emotional and unstable. Not necessarily unbearably, but it is gonna be more intense and sometimes out of the "normal" range. But you can expand your comfort zone (check out Tom Wotton's blog Bipolar Advantage here on PC for the concept), so highs and lows will not throw you out of the loop so much as you get used to them.

It's good to have a good support system to fall at (and somebody who would friendly warn you if you are becoming bit of out of control mess).

Some people report it gets better with age (teenage hormonal craziness passes and you learn to live better).

Just wanted to post an update - I will be tapering off my Seroquel XR, 50mg every 2 weeks. I wonder if I'll even notice it, with going at such a slow pace. I guess only time will tell!

Melissa, I think that is the point of tapering slowly... you might not notice a difference, a great thing!