indulging suicidal fantasies

I have made the decision to live. But now that I need to retire to sleep, I feel like fantasizing about the final act as a relief. Should one fight this tendency or just allow it knowing that a fantasy is a fantasy?

When I'm out of the danger zone fantasizing can be soothing, but you know yourself best, so only you know if it's potentially dangerous...

Generally, when I'm not in "the danger zone" I don't even think about death. It's only when I'm coming out of a depression that I'll lie in bed or on my chaise lounge in the yard and fantasize about no longer being here. It's sad, but also somehow liberating and peaceful because I know I'll be out of all my physical and emotional pain. I'm not sure indulging such a fantasy when you're spiraling is such a good idea though.

I think about it a lot myself. Not as much as I used to, but I also find it really comforting when I'm not in that dark place. To me, it's a beautiful escape. I believe in an afterlife, so I just kind of fantasize about getting to that place and how nice it will be to finally be free of all the stupid crap we have to go through day to day.

The thing about that is it's hard to tell someone that isn't bipolar. They always immediately jump to "you must be suicidal!" Which I'm not. I haven't been for a few years now, but for some reason, it's just a really nice thing to dream about.

Ok I think lots of do this and feel some sort of comfort in it. What I wonder tho if this is a healthy thing when we are feeling better. Or is it lingering feelings or not actually feeling so good.

You made a decision to live. What happenes when you try to fantasize about living? I notice with myself as long as I entertain the fantasies about dying it holds me back a bit, from actually living in the fullest I can. Fantasizing about living has always been tricky for me. The more I do it the, the easier and more fulfilling it becomes.

I had to use books and videos, get ideas from various places about this. It doesn't come naturally to me. I know people laugh and mock stuff like the secret alot. And while I myself think the video might be a bit over the top, and I might not fully agree with everything said. Stuff like that gives me fuel to fantasize about living. After I spend some time doing it, I feel pretty pretty great, very content.

I wonder what happenes for you tho when you try it, or if you do. I think it's worth a try.

After I wrote the post, I went to sleep without fantasizing about death. Go figure. I think I was disgusted with my own plan to leave the kids to picture the gruesome details of my demise.

Anika, your thoughts are interesting. I will try to consciously fantasize about living.

I am NOT suicidal but am mildly depressed. I have been obsessed with suicide. It's funny but when I have been surfing suicide references keep coming up and of course I go to them. Mostly I have intrusive thought about a completely developed plan and I can see myself there, doing it. I don't know whether or not to tell my psychologist about it as I have zero intent to do it. But the thoughts keep coming back.

I think at the moment I'm in the stage of fantasizing about suicide, even though at the same time I'm fighting off the urges to actually do so...so I totally understand where you're coming from.

The issue is that fantasizing can lead to ideation and eventually stronger urges and thoughts about committing suicide. Personally I believe you should try to avoid fantasizing about it, but if YOU think it helps you, who knows, maybe it could be beneficial. I don't think any of us can really give you a clear-cut yes or no answer to your question...only yourself and your pdoc can really advise you on that for definite.

Do you dream about suicide or dying at all? When I fantasize I tend to do that. Have you ever heard the song "Mad World"? It's rather relative to suicide (or at least Gary Jules' version is), and one of the lyrics that stands out to me the most out of any song is: "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had).

Ask yourself if you're still actually contemplating suicide. If the answer is a no, then maybe it just is fantasizing. But I do recommend you take caution...and if you ever need some support or you need to talk, PsychCentral is here for you.

RB ♥

Interesting. I have never dreamt of dying or committing suicide.

I think that as long as there's no self-pity involved, one may think about suicide. If it helps You to stay true to Your decision, it's good. However, like Resident Bipolar brought out, You should probably take caution.

I usually try to avoid thinking about direct ways to kill myself (these tend to trigger some unfavourable actions). Nevertheless, I do often think about how it would be not to be here... It's sort of like stepping out of myself and hoping I would disappear. I wouldn't mind death, but not really going for it either.