upset, not sure of what to do/or think

Hi all, have not had hubby diagnosed, BUT....He left this weekend and went to a different state " to see if it was where he wants to go" feels like this is his "Big Window" and feels that it will make everything right in his life...

A little background...
He had not spoken to his mother for 10 she died in 2005 left him the executor of her estate.

2005 they find out he has diabetes

we went through another "window of opportunity" only this time I went with him that same year 2007 his dad dies, we build a house we move to another state.

In 2008-2009 two of his cats die

2009 his sister dies

december of that year I leave, he is treating me like crap and I can't do anything right...or make enough money

April 2010 we reconcile and get back together

2010 my daughter his step daughter passes away in a car accident..

He has never gone to grief counseling OR psychologist, tells me things then twists them to suit his needs....

he shops for weird stuff has run up his cc cards 1. has $10,000 2. has $9,980 3. has $3000.00....

we own a house in one state we rent a townhouse in another...

both our names are on the house $1205.00 per month and on the rent here $823.00 per month...

I found out that he applied for an apt and looks like he accepted a job in another state.....

NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!!! and I think that he will get rejected for this rental he just applied for today....

we also have 4 cats, he plans on only taking 1...he considers these cats to be his kids (we didnt have any together)

In july we will be married 12 years....he has had one of his cats for 13 years, he is going to leave her and the others????

we have moved almost EVERY TWO YEARS he is 42 and since moving here with me he has had two jobs in a year and a half...

his mother had bipolar, and brother ADHD and depression.......

I dont feel like I can breathe......

Thanks for any and all advice!!!

You can't help him if he doesn't want it. He probably does need therapy, for his losses as much as anything else. Have you had counseling? You had a big loss. I know, I also lost a daughter, my only child, in a car accident.

I am so sorry Anneinside, I try and attend when work permits and when it feels right once a month at a local compassionate friends... my little girl was 11, she is now 13....sometimes I don't go because I just don't want to be that sad..... I have tried numerous counselors,still looking for a "good fit" I am sure you get that..... I am very active on a place similar to this for grieving parents, I read as much as I can and cry when I need to......I send you much love and bear hugs....we both need them...

As for my husband I know that this requires his participation I do wish and would be there for his love and support, but he is also on the verge of financial ruin, his and mine....I would like to know how to approach and the do's and don'ts I am new at this bipolar stuff reading everything I can get my hands on ...still grieving, taking care mentally and physically of my son who survived the accident, battling an ex, holding down a full time job.....I am about maxed myself...unfortunately.....

I keep going somehow, I tell all the people I know I must have been someone awful in my past life to deserve this.....