[bowhunt72]

So I went to this bipolar/depression support group I just started attending. I'm really struggling right now. Haven't self injured in over two years but I stopped on my way to the support group to get new knife blades - the one in my knife now is getting a little rusty and dull, don't want tetanus if I decide to cut - how screwed up is that. Because of the Easter holiday, I was the only one there, just me and the facilitator and his wife. We were talking through some of my issues and working on ideas for solutions and help.

About an hour into a 1 1/2 hour group, another guy showed up. We welcomed him in and encouraged him to share - figured I'd had my time, so let the new guy talk. Turned up he wasn't really there "for" the support group. He was there to tell us how he used to be depressed years ago but isn't anymore because he quit taking his meds and thought positively and pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. He was disappointed at the small number of people he had to talk to but grandly offered to come back in two weeks when he was off work and tell his story again and help lead the group. He said he had thought about coming for a while but decided he had to because if would be - his words - "criminal" if he didn't come talk to us.

Now, I'm not questioning his motives. I'm sure he honestly wants depressed people to feel better. But the way he talked and his complete lack of understanding of mood disorders had me wanting to strangle him. He said that going to a pdoc and taking meds and getting therapy was the equivalent of putting training wheels on a bicycle, and he decided he didn't want training wheels anymore so he just took them off.

I'm really struggling right now, not sure if I'll make it through the night without cutting. A lot of what I'm having such a hard time working on is making myself and my own health a priority, something that is totally against my nature, and this guy sits here proudly telling us how he got all better when he realized depression is just thinking "me, me, me" all the time. NOT HELPFUL.

Just frustrated and venting. It's gonna be a rough night.

[BNLsMOM]

I'm sorry you were upset by that guy. There are a lot of people who believe what he says, and maybe there is the occasional person who goes off meds and really does get better.

It seems like what he said took some of the safety out of the session for you.

I am having issues fighting thoughts of SI also. I take all my meds as directed every day. I see a pdoc and a T regularly. I find that it works for me. The issues crop up because BP is a chronic disorder.

Also, the guy might have a mood disorder of his own. I am not a doc, but the guy seems to be putting off a bit of a manic vibe.

You aren't alone.

[cocoabeans]

That is inappropriate because he doesn't have the full picture but, in a way he is right. For the majority of people who are depressed, medication isn't going to help. Many therapists are lunatics and cognitive therapy? That's simple common sense.

For those who are mildly or moderately depressed or those who are experiencing a depressed mood because of some situation in life mmaybe even as a result of their own poor choices, medicalizing depression is terribly irresponsible and does stop people from properly dealing with life's suffering.

I still have plenty of mood swings on medication, I will take the lowest dosage that gets me to the level where I can act/think my way out of it. If I didn't lose touch with all rationality during depressions, I'd say the same thing that guy says about meds. How would I know what it is really like to be severely depressed?

I went to a support group for depression once, psychologist recommended. I was the only one there with bipolar and most of those depressed people hadn't a clue that it is possible to be so depressed you lay in bed and piss yourself because you can't or won't get up or to really believe that you've died and gone to hell, every experience down to the shape of your hands is a conspiracy meant to torture you and you can't even off yourself because you think you already did! You have to live that kind of depression to know it.

The support group I went to was for sad people, despite the claims otherwise. I wasn't depressed when I went, apparently it was supposed to help me learn to prevent future depression, uh huh. Useless and I had little patience for sad people and is sounds like that guy is the same way, little patience for sad people who lack sense.

My point is, many people who claim to have depression, diagnosed as such and really believe it are simply sad. Sad is a far cry from depression and few people really know that. Just look at the simple description of the symptoms of depression! Don't blame the guy for being ignorant be happy for him because he really doesn't get it!

Yes, it upset you and yes, it is unfortunate that that happened at a point where you felt you should be getting support but, comfort comes from within. Why go slicing at yourself over a rude interuption? That's not very supportive. Next time just tell the guy to stuff it.

[Anneinside]

At my support group we had one of those come a few times. No one ever responded to what he said, just redirected to a different topic. He was reminded that people were not to monopolize the time in group. He gave up after a few weeks and stopped coming. We also had one guy come in saying he had the cure for bipolar - Concerta. People did respond to him and explained what Concerta was and that it wasn't a cure. He also only came a few times. The people with agendas usually don't come very often.

Try not to let this get to you too much. You're doing a good thing, trying to help
yourself. Some people are a bit ignorant, and I don't mean that in a bad way, just they don't really see outside of themselves. No meds and positive thinking might work for some people, but not all people. Or it might work depending exactly where you are at, we are always changing and none of us are at the exact same point either.

I myself want to go a no med route, but only after I've done some serious heavy work, and I'm not even sure I'll be able to do it. Just keep focusing on you and what you can do to help yourself. That's what really matters.

[LiteraryLark]

wow...what a douche! Not to toot his own horn, but he just loves to toot his own horn. I would ask your group leader to suggest to him that only people who are currently suffering from mood disorders are...encouraged to come. Because honestly, it's not fair for everyone else to have to listen for the whole session to him going on about how great his life is and the next thing you'll know he'll be whipping out bibles and talking about how Jesus cured him. That might be a bit of an exaggeration but that's not the purpose of a support group! That wouldn't be helpful at all to be told that all you need is to quit going to support groups (um, then why is he even going?) and to stop taking your meds.

My pdoc's been working for 30 years and he has told me only one BP patient has successfully gone off meds. It just does not work like that! Most BP people need to be on meds and some people get better with therapy and support groups.

See how it goes, maybe he is just a nice guy who doesn't really understand support groups, but he sounds like someone who wants control over the situation so he can talk about himself. If that's the case, bring it up to your group leader and try to find another group. Those kinds of people will only make you feel worse about yourself for not feeling as good as he does.

Idk if any of this helps, but I know that I would be very angry if someone waltzed into a group like that.

[LiteraryLark]

Also, for cutting, have a list of things you can do instead of cutting (don't label it that, consider it "Me time" or "Relaxation")

take a bubble bath, call a friend, draw (I suck at it but I had so much fun spending an hour drawing when I felt iffy), play with your pet, read, watch TV, eat chocolate.